what price would you be willing to pay for a babysitter? hourly? per child? per day? I'm curious to know.

I'm not okay.

I FUCKED UP.
my brother came banging on my door, loud enough to wake me and my kids. (we live together. in my mom's house. kids & I share a room.) he said that his girlfriend told him something about what I told her in confidence..
I told her how my sister's dad did some stuff to me when I was around my daughter's age.. & that I remember my brother being there. I remember details so vividly. it's something I haven't seen in a movie. so, why is it in my head? anyway, I guess she told him somethin...

"You've got your hands full" is probably the main thing I hear and never get asked "Can I help you?" I'm a mom of two kids and sooo tired. mentally, physically, and emotionally. I'm doing all that I can and I honestly feel like I'm drowning. I do have my hands full because I'm not only juggling my life, but my daughter, son, and my family's lives. I keep track of the bills, clean house, take care of my kids, try to participate in their school events, groceries, appointments, zero social life, & ...

just told one of my oldest best friends about some physical fights I've had with my bd before and I cannot hold myself together rn. why? I hit too so it doesn't count. right? (years ago.)

having very vivid flashbacks of the taste of liquor in the back of my throat. the burning/warm sensation when it hit my stomach. down to the fuzzy thoughts. I don't drink. I've had a little on my last birthday and that's about it since 2016. I tell myself I can't drink because I'm an alcoholic. I mean, I know when to stop, but I don't think I will because my emotional state is shit. even with the meds. I hate feeling so fucked up inside and everyone telling me it's bs & not real, etc. I'm suffer...

I'm sorry I'm not always happy. I'm sorry I laugh uncontrollably at odd times. I'm sorry I cry over stupid shit. I'm sorry I'm so depressing to talk to. I'm sorry i take forever to reply. I'm sorry I'm inpatient. I'm sorry I get angry. I'm sorry I detach myself from everyone I love. I'm sorry I'm needy. I'm sorry I whine too much. I'm sorry I'm so sensitive. I'm sorry I don't smile enough when I should. I'm sorry I can't Express my feelings. I'm sorry I'm indecisive. I'm sorry I'm annoying. I'm ...

if you're going thru something & need someone to talk to, but feel like you're a burden if you do so, hmu. if you wanna talk kids, guys/girls, movies, music, etc.., hmu. I'm here if ya need someone. much love sent ya way, ladies.😘💖👑

@chaaaachi_x on kik.
@chaaaachix on SC.
@chaaaachix on IG.
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I'll be here for ya.🖤

I feel like such a fucking failure. can't do shit without relying on everyone and I'm always let down and I have to just deal with it because I put myself in this position in the first place. fml.

for new moms or other moms with kids in diapers, if you don't already know: order parent's choice diapers & wipes online. I get 296 diapers (size 4) & 1200 wipes for my son and it lasts him a decent while. my total was approximately $65. if you can get them cheaper as well as in a higher count, let me knowwww. I'm broke 24/7 so yeah. to me, this is better than buying them when I run out.🤷‍♀️ just a mom friendly input..💖