My sons dad messaged me and wants to talk to my son.. He doesnt know him. My kid knows of him but doesnt know him. Hes 10 and hasnt seen him since he was 4 and barely the years before that. Im not sure how to respond or just ignore it.
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We've been down that road. HE took me to court. HE didnt show up. we reschedule FOR HIM. HE didnt show yet again.
Ask your son. See what he says. I feel like he’s old enough to decide who he wants in his life. If he doesn’t see him as a father figure already I wouldn’t try and add him back in tbh but I would ask him. Maybe like if you’re dad reached out to me to see you what do you want me to say? Kinda like that
@anicole3285, then in that case trust your gut. It might just be a door better left closed and his dad would have to do a whole lot more than reach out to convince me he’s serious. I mean 6 years...that’s approaching a decade of non contact. I don’t understand how a person can reason in their mind that that’s ever an okay way to treat a child.
I feel like it’s going to go one of two ways.
So obviously dad is starting to feel remorse for not being involved in your sons life.
So either this really could be what changes and what brings him into your sons life and then having a good relationship.
Or this could cause unnecessary pain for your son especially since he doesnt even think of dad now. So if dad comes into his life and leaves again, it would stir up all those emotions.
Honestly, for me, if I was In That situation I would say no. I know it seems heartless and mean but that’s a looong time. And I would just be protecting my daughter.
Thats how i feel. Especially since its happened before. And of course my sons dad had a legit excuse. At least it is for him and "im" the reason he isnt around for some reason. Which in reality. If it was me in that situation. Nothing would keep me from my kid. Id go through everything and actually show up to court meeting etc. I just dont want to cause more emotions for my kid if it can be avoided. And unfortunately, maybe he has come to terms and feels bad and i wont let him. But my son is more important to me. Until my son asks about him i dont think its necessary. But i honestly feel like he still thinks im the reason he isbt involved. So i dont think he has remorse at all
I think it could be good, maybe he feels bad for not being in his life all of these years. It eats at men eventually. I suggest the therapy too, see what he says
@lifewithlynnieandwill88 thank you and i appreciate it. My sons doctor is supposed to call in the next few days to see how he is doing, im going to ask for a referal for a psychiatrist. Think that will help alot with hin.
@anicole3285 yes! I'm sure it will!! Good luck and prayers for you guys!
If he is serious about being in his life they'll need reunification therapy. Tell him that, you'll see if he's calling bluff
He always told me once mateo ( my son ) was older hed be around. Doesnt matter when hes a baby.... Now he wants to and yea. Let me try to explain that to my son who is already needing clunseling for the things hes going through. Lets just add this to a kid who never mentions him for a grown man. My son dont care (at the moment anyways) about him..
@anicole3285 trust your instincts. It will certainly only make your son's situation worse if he's not in it for the long haul
He hasn't seen him in 6 years?
I'd say.......fuck off...
I'm guessing if he hasn't seen him in 6 year he dotn pay for anything either. That also could be kinda damaging to your son definitely if you think he will dip out again
@anicole3285 yeah that's not right my dad was in and out of my life and it sucked I never knew what to think I remeber my mom going ur dad's going to pick u up at 8am and I'd be like okay but I made other plans for when he don't show. I'm 25 and at this point I cant get excited for anything till after its happens bcuz I'm convinced that somthing will happen and I'll get let down again!
Granted now he Is in my life but still weary of it
@anicole3285 yeah it effects me raising my child to bcuz if we plan somthing I wont tell her about till we on the way unless my husband does then I get all anxious about it
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