Still haven't told DH...
...that we're expecting! ? Tonight we were at dinner with my brother and SIL and they just had a baby 4 weeks ago. She said something about babies and DH replies, with such an attitude, "uh no! Never again, we are done!"
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Congrats! If you're excited, it will help him come around faster. My #4 was a total surprise on bc. It happened during a serious rough patch for us. DH was shocked & mad & mean for a good month. I finally got really mad at him said I can't change it but didn't plan it & it takes two, etc. I wasn't even supposed to be able to have more kids, the bc was to help my endo. I said I don't want to hear another word about it, adjust somehow cause can't send it back & I have to deal too. He shut up. That baby saved our marriage. In March I gave away our crib & changing table to DH's boys who are expecting. I told them I'm done & to come go through what I have & take what they want. FIVE days later I found out I'm preg. I. Was. Stunned. My reaction was not good. I had an anxiety attack & it ended with me praying for a long time. This time DH is excited from the get go. That's shocking, he's 52 & #8 for him, I'm 40 & #5 for us. I'm the one still not 1000% adjusted. I'm 26w5d. I love this baby but everyday I still say REALLY?!? to myself. I was ready for a full hysterectomy & planning a new chapter of life. I have to trust God gave us our last 2 miracle babies for a reason. I know the reason for the last one. I don't know this one yet. Your DH will come around. His reaction wasn't good. The comeback in bed was a start. Even if it was somewhat weak. Give him time. Do not accept rudeness, but this news needs time to wrap your head around, it's a life changer. Especially when you don't anticipate it & think that phase is over. Heck, tell him my story. That's got to help him feel a little better about yours!
My husband was very upset when I got pregnant with dd2. He tried to make me have an abortion and was mad when I refused it. Then I told him I would gladly leave and not expect any help from him with our 2nd child and i would not make him he a father to our 2nd baby, but not to come around wanting to be in the baby's life later. Then he woke me up in the middle of the night upset and told me how much he loved me and said he does want the baby he's just scared and nervous about how we are going to support 2 kids and said he promised to do everything he can to take care of all of us.
He was still upset for a little while then he got extremely excited once it had time to sink in.
Hopefully your husband will come around to the idea. ...I'm sure he will especially if he loves you.
@OP, he will come around. It's just a shock to him right now, guys process information differently than we do. I'm not excusing his bad behavior, but just look at it as an aberration. Give him a little bit of time to wrap his head around the idea. I don't think it really hits most guys until they hold the baby anyways.
I'm excited for you though!
Say what you want about me or my husband, saying something about my unborn baby is ridiculously immature. I'm not wasting another minute even acknowledging your presence on this thread.
I'm sorry about his reaction op. I promise he will come around. He probably feels a lot of pressure now financially. If he only wanted 3 kids he had the option to get fixed. He knew what method you guys were using. Did he pull out during non fertile times? I just think he has nothing to be upset about, he was just as much a part of making the baby as you were. If he wants to be stressed because it's another mouth to feed etc, then I get it. But he needs to show you some kindness and affection.
Wow. No real reaction to Bella's comment, because I have nothing nice to say about it.
He will come around, Excited. I'm sure it was a huge surprise, and probably so out of left field that he was actually in shock. I'm glad to hear that he's "thawing out". I love what you said about God entrusting you both, I agree 110%!
Ok... So I'm gonna be the one that doesn't agree with everyone on this. I would flip! If I were him I wouldn't have even have known how to react and some dumb s*** would have come out of my mouth. 4 kids is a lot and honestly I think for that many kids both parties need to be ok with it. That being said you didn't do this on purpose and going forward he needs to apologize for his rude reaction and get over it cuz you can't put him/her back now! Lol
Update from last night:
He got in bed, held my hand and we talked a little. He said "this is just not what we needed right now". I replied, "well "this" is your child and I get that you're stressed but we'll figure it out. Everything happens for a reason and I am grateful that God has entrusted is with another precious baby. I hope you'll come around eventually." He said he would.
This morning he had to leave to go work on his car with my best friend's dad. He didn't say anything to me all morning but kissed me before he left and said he loved me.
In time, I guess. In time.
Pssshhhh, whatever akane. We've always used this method and our children are spaced apart. 5 years between the first two and 3 years between #2 and #3.
Why are they spaced so far apart? Because I've always waited for him to give the green light to TTC. I would never do something so dishonest and deceitful. He's my husband and being married sometimes means putting your wants and desires aside for the other person.
My hubby had finally decided that we didn't want anymore. I had a traumatic delivery/pregnancy with DD so, he was afraid that something would happen to me (I am too). Well, I freaked out when I found out I was pregnant again. I was happy because it's a blessing with how we struggled to even conceive DD. However, I was very afraid at how he would act. He always made comments about our friends that have 2 under 2. He would say things like, "better you than me," and "I'm done having kids." When I told him he was very excited. So they may just be comments that he says just because. Men often say things that they do not mean. Good luck and update us when you tell him.
ETA: ok so I just read that you told him. I'm sorry for his reaction. Remind him that it takes two and that you really need him right now. I'm sure that he is just really shocked and will be happy soon.
Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. It really makes me feel so much better!
...and sorry to leave you hanging! ?
I'm very excited and I'm not going to let him kill my buzz! LOL!
I'm #4 of 4 and I always wanted 4 kids! I accepted after #3 it would never happen unless it was a complete surprise because I knew he would never agree to "try" for anymore. I get he's mad and needs time to process. I guess what hurts me most is that he sees how upset/scared I am (because of his reaction), and instead of putting aside his pride and frustration to comfort me, he just sat there like I didn't even matter.
I could also just be extra emotional. LOL! I guess that comes with the territory!
I told him I was sorry, that I was tracking closely and we didn't even have sex the entire 7 days of my 'fertile window'. He just said "yeah, it is what it is."
He's not excited. He didn't really say much other than we can't afford 4 kids (which is not even remotely true) and that I need to get a new car now. I just sobbed into my pillow for a good long while and he just sat there like a cold hearted statue.
I'm very disappointed in his reaction, but it's whatever, I guess.
I went through the same thing, my husband definitely didn't want anymore... I sat down next to him crying out so hard and he thought something was wrong, as much of a knot I had in my throat I told him we are pregnant and that it just happened. He started laughing his butt off and said really ad that's so bad? I looked at him and said no but I knew he didn't want anymore and that I definitely didn't plan on it either seeing as I was on the pill and he just hugged me and said im just hoping its another boy... kissed made up and onto baby #4 due in December lmfao
Ok! He's drinking a few beers and we're watching My Cousin Vinny! I'll tell him after this is over (it's almost over). It's one of his favorites, I don't want to ruin it for him forever. ??
The worst part is, my SIL is the only one who knows. She gave me this look like "ohhhh sh*t!"
I think he saw the it, but I'm not sure.
I was just about to say it and he walked out of the room. ? Let's try this again.
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He will come around momma!! I'm positive he's just shocked. Good luck with everything ?