You're welcome @april, I hope it helps! This was what I planned to do with my lo, but he stopped night feeds on his on before I got a chance to implement it (around 13 months).

Then once he stopped night feeds, we focused on getting him to stay in his crib, and that is going better as well.

Hugs.

Dd is very restless in her sleep. She will wake up and make some noises. I wait though. She usually stops after a min. But if she starts crying I'll pick her up and rock her then lay her back down. We co sleep as in share a room. I can't bed share unless we're in a new place and she can't go to sleep. Otherwise I'm getting kicked by her and dh haha

I've never made it past 15 minutes, it hurts to much to hear her cry.

A lot of the time my kids would wake up, stir a little bit and then fall back asleep. I would always wait until they cried to go get them, if they were just babbling or moving around I would wait it out. This was when they were 6 months ish though and sleeping through most nights. I'm not sure what you would call that

I like that idea soooo much better @lil I cannot stand letting my baby cry. It makes me cry. Thank you so much because I didn't know how else to do it and I didn't want any form of the cio method.

Crying till this pass out and sleep ?. Can't do it. Won't try it.

I let little man fuss. Not cry, he is still to little. (4 months old) it helps him learn to self soothe. It only lasts like 5 minutes. Though dd1 was a little over 6 months old and she had done nothing but cry for a couple of days. No matter what i did. She wouldn't sleep, she was still eating well, normal diapers, tummy not hard. I couldn't figure it out. So i put her in her bed went into the living room and it was the longest 15 minutes of my life. But she calmed herself down and took a two hour nap. (I did check on her every so often) she was fine after that. I never let her cry longer than 15 minutes. She was almost a year the next time I let her cry it out. I was frustrated and feeling helpless at the time. It was the most horrible feeling in the world. But I knew she was safe in her bed, and it was a good decision. Compared to becoming even more frustrated at the situation.

^I think that's fine hun as you're comforting your lo and she isn't actually hungry. But maybe a gradual approach would help?

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So I am trying to sleep train my lo right now. She usually wakes up 3 times a night wanting to feed. So I am trying to rectify this situation before I get further along in this pregnancy and can't do it. I never leave her alone as in we co sleep until I get her sleeping through the night. But she did cry for like an hour last night even with me rubbing/patting her back/butt the entire time. The only way to get her to stop crying is put her on my boob which I won't do because that's what I'm trying to fix. Am I doing it wrong?

IMO "controlled crying" (aka short intervals) is just a modified version of CIO. It seems less cruel to me, but I personally don't leave my lo to cry for any period of time.

I think controlled crying is at least nicer and hopefully let's the lo know they aren't alone... but I still feel sorry for the babies.

I've heard of people literally shutting the nursery door and leaving their lo in the crib for a certain period of time (8-12 hours) no matter what. I cannot even fathom this and it seems horribly selfish and cruel to me.

The only time I leave my 17 month old son to cry is when he's having a tantrum and thrashing around, because there is no reasoning with him in that state. I lay him on the floor (he headbutts, kicks, and punches) so he doesn't hurt himself or me, and he comes back to me when he calms down.

Wow I thought that was the cio method... People actually leave their kid to cry for hours? That's terrible! ?? I thought cio was for 5/10 mins. I did that with both my kids when they were around a year to get them to self soothe. Ds1 really needed it. He was the type to need soo much to fall asleep. It would take 2 hours+ to get him to sleep. We did the more gentle version i guess of "cio". First few nights it took 30-45 mins and I checked on him every 5-10 mins. Then after one week he was fine. He learned to fall asleep with in the first 10 mins of laying down and no crying. It helped him get better sleep and helped me to becuase I was exhausted and so stressed out. Ds2 wasnt so bad about sleeping, but we were weaning and it was the only way he would sleep. He was much easier and only took maybe 2 nights and then he slept perfectly in his bed no problems.

Thank you pp. it's not like I just put her in her crib say see ya and walk out. This is just when she's being really difficult while trying to comfort her and I need a moment to collect myself.

Cry it out, for me, means making a conscience decision to not console your baby after any amount of time.

If my baby is crying, I always comfort her and help her calm down as quickly as possible. She's WAY too young (anything under 2/3 depending on development) to understand that Mom is trying to teach her to self soothe. We will cross that bridge later.

The way I like to think about it is, if your SO was crying or you were crying, would you wait and see if they stopped before finding out what's wrong? Of course not. Babies can't communicate their feelings with words, but they are just as valid and real.

My MIL did CIO from 6 months on with my DF and tells me all the time I need to put my DD down, close the door, and walk away. It just seems cruel in my opinion.

(But OP, I think walking away to collect yourself when YOU are getting frustrated is a smart move. I don't consider that CIO, you're just recollecting yourself to better help your LO and that's fine!)

I'm with Briana. DS is 6.5 months and the longest he cries is a quick minute when I have to make a bottle or something. Otherwise he's in mommy/ daddy's arms or playing. It may be attachment parenting but I love how in tune we are with each other and it feels so much more natural to me.

My son is still too young for CIO imo. (He's 6.5 months) The most I've let him cry is 2-3 minutes when I was making a bottle or I had to pee and he was only crying cause I wasn't holding him

It's not super often I do this. Dd is normally very good going to bed or taking a nap. But every once in awhile she gets like that. 1 big reason I do it is because I have really bad anxiety and when I feel like I can't comfort her I start to panic. I don't get frustrated AT her just frustrated I can't console her. So I turn off the light tell her I love her and walk away. 9x out of 10 it's within 5 mins she calms down. I still peek in on her with my ninja moves though.

It's actually not the modified version. It's the only version. That's the cio Ferber meant in his books. Not leaving your child to scream for hours on hours. People take it way to seriously and just leave them. He had to write the second because so many people took his first wrong.

Personally I would never do cio at all. Even if it's 5 minutes. I feel there is a better way of getting them to sleep. But absolute max would be like 10 minutes

I could never do that pp. maybe that's why people give me such dirty looks when I've said I use cio method. Lol

I don't let mine cry for longer than a couple of minutes. If they did, I would go in and pat them on the back and wait until they calm down and slip back out. Now, a little fussing and whining I usually let go on for 15-20 minutes and they would usually go on to sleep. I found just staying consistent was the best thing for us. Naps at the same time with the same routine and they eventually got it.

I don't think I could do it for longer than 10mins at the most. It hurts my heart.

When I did this my son was 1 1/2 years old. I would start out with staying in his room, not looking at him, and just letting him cry it out until he fell asleep. As long as I was in the room he was fine and never cried for too long. When he got used to that I'd lay him in bed and walk away. He'd cry and I'd come back every ten minutes to reassure him until he fell asleep. For me the CIO method was a last resort, nothing else was working for him. He now is 2 1/2 years old and has been going to sleep all by himself after two to three weeks of the CIO method.

To me, cry it out means me crying it out with him ? I'm not strong enough for it haha

I tried it for 5 minutes and I caved. It hurts me too much. I'd rather lay with him and cuddle him to sleep. That's just me though. ?

Yeah that's why I really wont let her go longer than 5 mins. I don't want her to hyperventilate or get sick. I guess I shouldn't say I use cio then lol

To me, I think it's anything over 15 minutes of not calming down a child. After a certain point of crying so hard for so long they can hyperventilate and become inconsolable which does nothing for leaving them to cry longer and can lead to throwing up.

Also she is almost 18mos. I would never recommend this for a new born.