You never realize how much of your family you don't like until you're planning a wedding. I'd rather not invite my dad's side of the family, but he'll be so hurt if I don't. They've been absent from my life since before I got pregnant and my daughter's almost 2. Nothing happened, they were invited to events and we reached out and they didn't respond. I'm sick of making the effort and getting my feelings hurt when they don't show.
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No matter what, your wedding will offend someone. You can’t please everyone and for some reason people get really butthurt over them. Plan your wedding for you and screw anyone else’s plans or ideas.
I would sit down with your Dad and chat about it all.
I made mistakes about worrying too much about other people's opinions (family) and am now stuck with photos in the wedding album of people who I have nothing to do with. .stand by what feels right by you and your future hubby, end of the day this wedding is about who loves and supports you being there for one of the most important days.
I think your dad would be more hurt if he saw how upset you were that they didn't show up to your wedding. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't invite them, but if you're really concerned about your dad's say in this, invite them -- but keep your expectations low that way when they don't rsvp, you'll know you at least did right by your dad.
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Maybe he can pick a few favorites to invite and who cares about the rest