To clarify this, i want everyone to know my posts before she was born was not ment to encourage anyone to induce their own labor before it was time. I know i didnt clarify that back then, but im trying to be honest now in all my current posts. Mamas that want to get your baby out early dont do it. I wasnt intending for my water to break like it did. I didnt want that. I knew the walking would induce it, but i wanted her to be closer to term. My actual reason for walking was to try and shift her to releave some pain so i could do my homework. However, it broke my water. Instead of her being closer to term like we thought she would be i ended up speeding up the process to much. I realize my error in how i made those posts before she was born made it seem like i was encouraging this. Im telling everyone now that this feeling emotionally is not what you want to experince. Yes im happy that things arent worse, but ive been crying all the time. Every hour, everytime i talk about her, everytime i go see her, everytime i feel like i failed, and everytime i feel guilty. This feeling isnt going to go away until im able to hold her and take her home. Its tearing me to pieces inside. To be completely honest id rather feel labor pain again than this. So please mamas dont take my previous posts like that bc i dont want you to feel like this.
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@autumnsmomma125 i know and i wasnt saying you were wrong. I was trying to tell you the thinking behind the words.
Im just saying how you contradicted what you said then vs now...
And like I said please trust it was not your fault bc walking down the end of the road is not going to put u in labor if someone that's 35 weeks can run a marathon and not go into labor. I know it's hard not to beat yourself up but baby comes when baby comes not bc you walked down the road
@2-mommies its just hard to know what to think when you have so many people tell you so many diffrent things. You have someone tell you that walking induces it, or someone tell you it doesnt. You have someone tell you that it reduces the pain by shifting the baby, which it actually does. Even so your not sure about weather it induces it or not so your just going by what alot of people have said and asumming that it would induce the labor. So this ends up being what you exspect to happen. By that point bc of that you already have that mind set to prepare yourself but then it happens and it happens the opposite way you thought it would if it did happen. You thought it would cause stronger contractions for a few days maybe even a week before your water broke. Yeah you keep saying if she comes early come while daddys off work. That ends up being mostly mental support bc at this point your scared bc you werent told to do anything or not to do anything, you were just told that you wouldnt make it to your due date. I wanted her closer to term. I kept hoping for 38 weeks. Once i learned i wouldnt make it and then was left to my own devices i just did what felt natural to releave some of the pain but was aware of what everyone else said it may cause. I started viewing it as a double edged sword. I automatically assumed it would cause this, so yes i wanted her here while he was off. To be honest had he not been and i had to wait on him to get here i mentally wouldnt have made it. Bc just being a few weeks off and i had already had the steriods for her lungs, she had to have oxygen immeditally...i dont even know if i would be taking her home today even if she was closer to term...@autumnsmomma125
Walking did not cause you to go into preterm labor mama. Women run marathons while late in their pregnancies and don't go into labor and I'm a runner and have witnessed this first hand. I am also walking a lot right now to make sure little guy is positioned right for labor. Nothing truly induces labor. In fact labor has to have already begun in order for anything to aid in the process. With my oldest, I went into preterm labor and had been walking but no more than usual. He was just ready to come and I didn't even feel any pain so it's not like I would have known and been able to stop walking. This is not your fault at all. Some women just tend to go into labor early no matter what and based on how you were not in any pain, it's not like you would have known to relax a bit more. Each pregnancy is different but as a first time mom you truly had no idea as to when to expect your princess to arrive. You did an amazing job Mama so don't beat yourself up. We don't control nature
Then in this post you say my actual reason fit walking was to shift her and but i wanted her to be closer to term?...
Im sorry for what you're going through. But you did clearly say in previous posts that you WERE trying to get her to come that weekend because your husband was off til Monday...
@the.seminole.812 my husbands almost like i am right now. Hes trying to rest but hes having problems bc of how far away she is.
@bethany_swaney go take a shower... wash your hair... put on a clean gown and get some hugs and love. This will be behind you soon.
@mcrowell0970 once shes able to take it by mouth maybe they will...and once im able to produce enough. Right now if she were to latch shed just chew them bc im still barely producing. Im trying...but its hard and i know my emotions have alot to do with it.
@mcrowell0970 i cant sleep...im getting dishcharged tomorrow...i dont want to leave her.
@the.seminole.812 thank you mama, its just easier said than done for me right now. Espically with my habit, im always blaming myself for something. The fact that its my baby makes it even worse. I was having 25 miliunits of potocin a min at the end of it, and on top of that once she finished breaking the membrane and the stronger induced contactions started i ended up taking the pain med through IV bc i hadnt slept in 24 hrs and knew i was to exhausted to push when it came time...i needed to rest but hated myself for taking that bc i knew what the effects could be.
@mrs.sims i was always told that walking would speed it up. So even though i had people tell me it wouldnt i didnt belive them. In the end though i took both sides into consideration. The walking most likely did break my water, but unfortantly i have a feeling it was partically due to how dialated i was. I was scared of that happening so when i was walking i only walked up and down my tiny dead end road, and for no longer than like 10 mins. I only did it 1 time thursday to. I didnt want to over do it. When i started leaking fluid that night i ended up dialating another cm. Knowing sorta wjat happened friday when i noticed it wasnt going away, i got scared. I comtimplated going in to get checked...so first i walked again 2 times in short intervals. When i realized it felt diffrent, like really diffrent i decided to go in bc i knew something was wrong. After that i didnt have a choice but to have her bc it was dangerous for her if i didnt and i almost already waited to long...
@mcrowell0970 her lungs being under developed was the only thing wrong. It looks like she got that from me. Bc even though my lungs were strong when i was born it was bc i was full term. In reality though its always been really hard for me to build my lung strength. I had no breathing issues growing up but i couldnt make them stronger either if you get what i mean. Her on the other hand, couldnt breathe on her own from birth. Shed try but it wasnt enough. The steriods i had to help with her lungs at 26 weeks probably saved her life. They said it wouldve been way worse had i not had those...that made me scared that even if she had made it to 38 weeks that she still wouldve been in the nursery bc even being a couple of weeks off from that she had to be on oxygen instantly until they were able to give her that fluid for her lungs. Now were just waiting for her to get better...i didnt want this. It hurts so much.
It happened how it happened. Theres no changing it. Shes here... dwelling on the negative will certainly prevent you from enjoying the positives.
being dilated is not a very accurate means of determining when ACTIVE labor will start. Walking and exercising is normal activity during pregnancy. If you were 36 weeks ans your doctor disnt put you on bed rest theres no reason to assume you should be really taking it that easy...
Also consider, the amounts of pitocin and labor augmentation received during the labor process which could be a contributing factor in tour baby's breathing issue. NOT just the water breaking before your EDD...
I have taught child birth education and have done doula work for quite some time... there's really no way of knowing what caused your water to break... you could have just been laying in bed doing nothing and it still may have broken.
Many women experience dilation without labor... it is not that uncomon. Just as women having babies early. You never know. This is why we soend week preparing because birth is unpredictable...
Even myself. My first 2 were around 2 weeks late. My 3rd for no reason at all came at 37 weeks on the dot my water randomly broke... my 4th was also a week late with me being dilated for weeks before labor started...with my last baby I was literally walking around 3/4cm at 36 weeks and at 38 weeks I was 5/6cm for another week. Finally at 39 weeks I had my membranes swept and still nothing for 2 more days...
Every pregnancy is different.
Cheer up. Try to enjoy your baby as est you can. Keep pumping and be good to yourself.
No it wasnt your fault. Look at all the women at 40 weeks looking for ways to speed it up. They get told constantly that no matter what they do the baby won't come till baby is ready. Especially if you were not put on bed rest. I started dilating at 32 weeks and was never put on bed rest either.
@mrs.sims thank you...i just...i know im in postmartum depression now, but at this point it was my own fault.
@mcrowell0970 so far her recovery is decent. If we get lucky well get to bring her home by friday, but if we dont were looking at another 2 or 3 weeks...and were getting discharged tomorrow...i want to stay up here with her. Im still so scared.
I was a nicu Mommy and all I can say is don't be so hard on yourself. Sunny blame yourself. If you could have prevented it you would have. That's why you made this post. Your doing great. Hang in there it gets better I promise! If you ever need anyone to listen you can always message me
@mcrowell0970 my doctor never even suggested bed rest for some reason when she told me i was dialted early. In the end i didnt know what to do, and i was exhausted. Being scared, and running out of ways to get relief i know now i did the dumbest thing i couldve done. Im sorry if i offended anyone. I didnt want to do that, but also now im wanting to make sure no one does this intentionally. Its not worth it. The moment she came out and i didnt hear her cry at first my heart broke. I was so scared, and cursing myself for messing up. I got relief when she made a sound, but just enough relief to realize that at least the heart beat i had been hearing on the monitor the whole time wasnt a lie. My punishment for it now is not being able to hold her, or feed her, or care for her. Its the worst feeling. Being broken and whole at the same time.
@mcrowell0970 i was tired of the pain. By speeding up that shifting her. Bc unfortantly with the relief of the pain it would speed it up anyway. I didnt want to break my water though. That part i didnt want. I was hoping for closer to term, not the next 2 days. Thats the reason why i realize how i worded it and said it was wrong. Yes i was in alot of pain, and thats probably why i said it like i did bc i was tired of the pain and i was irratated. I will admit that. Im not saying your wrong bc im aware of how it all sounded now. Someone was nice enough to point it out to me. What i did though is a large part of why i feel so guilty now. So thats why i posted this.
Ok