Will your Mom be in the delivery room?
My mom made it sound like she was gonna be in the delivery room when I give birth, and quite frankly, I would just like it to be me and my fiancé. It's our first, and I want to share that special moment with just him. I don't want to hurt her feelings, and I know this is something she would really like to be a part of. So I feel bad telling her no.
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Hell no lol. My sister in law also keeps making comments about holding a leg or being my push coach and I flat out told her no. I only want my husband and my aunt bc she's our sons godmother and an RN in L and D and trained for the nicu. You just gotta be honest and you can even say a certain amount of ppl are allowed. Ultimately it's up to you!
Theres no way that I could have my mom in the room. She always has something negative to say, and I don't think I could deal with it. Last delivery I had my husband, who was all the support I needed(which was totally a surprise), and he had his mom and aunt for support. It was wonderful.
No, I was unaware she wanted to be in the delivery room with my first. She busted driving to get there then my BP would spike every time she came into the room. Nurses kept showing her out. And then she's sneak back in, and the nurses would come back in to say I was resting or no visitors at the moment. She finally gave up when my labor took too long they went out to dinner and got a hotel. Next morning they came and Little Miss arrived early am. So worked out how I originally planned mostly. This time I told her and she was half drunk and got all pissy about it. But husband and I agreed not to call them till babe is born this time to avoid issues. I have two daughters and if they want me there yay, if not I'm fine waiting in the waiting room.
My mom will be there. She was with my first as well and honestly it was nice for both my husband and me to have her there. My labor was so long it allowed my husband to come home to shower and whatnot and not leave me alone. They got food for each other. It worked well for us. My mom and I are super close as well.
A MIL is totally different from a mom. I've always had my mom in there and sometimes my sisters, but my husband has never even asked if his mom could be in there. That just seems weird. Also I have 2 sons and I don't expect to be in the room when there babies are born (I will babysit whenever they need it though). But as a mom to 4 girls, I would be very sad if they didn't want me there.
Are you sure you don't want your mom there? There's probably a reason men used to not be in the room. I'm having my fourth and I've always loved having my mom and someone's my sisters. I love my husband and he's amazing but he's never given birth and does t really know the right things to say or do.
Heck no! I know my mom really wanted to be in there but I am very private. I do not like expressing emotions or pain in front of family members. I also don't want her looking at my lady parts! Hello! I know she had me but I was a baby then. I am an adult now. Lol. She told me once I was in labor I wouldn't care if a football team was in there and that simply wasn't true. I was very self conscious the whole time with people watching me. I had a few high risk doctors and pediatric nurses and pediatrician b/c my son had a bowel movement before he was born. This time she really wants to take care of our son while we are in the hospital so I won't have to worry about hurting her feelings again. It's a special time just for me and my husband. We made this baby together and should be the first ones to have our time by ourselves with her.
I'm an only child and my mom and I are really close, I couldn't do it without her. And honestly with my first, once labor really kicked off I didn't give a s*** who was in the room I was totally focused inwards. When you've been in labor for 8+ hours, modesty is the last thing you care about, at least for me! But just like everyone said, it's your choice. You can give instructions to your nurses and they will help. After I had my son on the 2nd day I told them I didn't want anymore visitors, I was very overwhelmed and they let ppl leave me a note or whatever but kept everyone but baby's father out!
My mom was with me for my first born up to the point when they told me I needed an emergency section. She went absolutely nuts out in the corridor when she heard this. I honestly could have done without the stress, she was very emotionally involved.
As a result she wasn't around during the birth of my second son, I just told her it would be best if she hung back at home. It was a scheduled section anyway.
My mom always wanted me to have a baby girl, and 13 years later I'm finally having a girl. My mom passed away suddenly in 2014, but had she been alive she would have been very involved and I'd have let her.
If you are open to getting your mom involved then let her, but just set boundaries. I'd give anything in the world to have my mom here for her granddaughters birth, hysterical or not ?
This is our first and I asked my mom to be there. Hubby didn't really want her there but understood that it was for me and my decision. I want my mom there because I've never gone through this before and neither has hubby so I feel like she'll be a lot of help keeping me calm and telling me what to do. I know hubby is going to panic. Hospitals, blood, and needles freak him out way too much. Plus I know that seeing me in that much pain will freak him out. My mom will stay calm and help me stay calm I know.
For my first it was just going to be my fiance in the room but parents ended up showing up to the hospital (was long labor and they lived 4 hrs away) and waited in the waiting room. BUT I ended up asking for my mom to come in :) just something about having my mom there especially because she had been through it before. 2nd kid - just hubby! Maybe let her know you appreciate the offer and will let her know if you need/want her but you want this experience to be between you and so.
My husband is always in the delivery room with me. Other than keeping me company he's not much of support. He cuts the umbilical cord. My mom was out of town 1st time around could of used her support. 2nd time around felt more at ease and hubby was being hubby just physically there. This time around I'm like I could due without hubby. I'm so private that I dunno if opportunity came up to have my mom with me.
My hubby and mother in law was in the room for my first ( he didn't do very well lol )
My mother in law and step mom were in the room with my 2nd.
And my nana who is 81 will be with my with my little man. He's our last baby first boy and named after my nanas husband ( my bumpa ) and my nana.
No! She wasn't for our first because DH wanted it to be just me and him. This time around he said he didn't care since we had our moment. But honestly my mom and my sister pushed the limits last time by literally begging at my door while it was time to push. So I decided I still only want it to be the two of us! Then DH will go get ds1 once we're ready for them to meet and even then no one else will be coming in yet. She's upset cause "he won't even remember" so she doesn't see why she can't be in there too when they meet. Oh well. I'll remember the first moments being a family of 4!
ETA: her and my sister were in the room until about 11 pm then they left to try and get some sleep. They were back at the hospital before I actually pushed him out. But had they been in the room when pushing started we would have asked them to still step out.
My mom lives more than 1,000 miles away and has come to see us every time we have a baby (this is my third). I love my mom so much, but the labor and delivery room is a special bonding and trust experience for my husband and I. I considered letting my mom in during my first delivery, but I'm glad I didn't and won't because that's a precious time for our own new little family. Also, the first hour after delivery, I choose to have just me, hubby, and baby skin to skin, nursing, uninterrupted bonding. Then after that my mom, dad and other close family is welcome to see the baby.
My mom and MIL were there until it was pushing time. I was not comfortable having them see all my business so it was just me and hubby. We already had a ton of people in my room because my daughter was technically a premier by 3 days, so several NICU people were in there. I'm not allowing them in the room this time either.
My mum got there just in time with my first and I couldn't have done it without her. I was getting up and going home and nothing anyone said was going to change my mind. I was just going to come back another day lol. But mum pulled me into line, snapped me out of it and coached me through it. To me she was the only person in the room (there was actually my ex and two midwives as well). With my second she was supposed to be caring for my daughter and it was just going to be my ex and I. But after my waters broke I realised that I needed her with me. So she dropped my daughter off to my grandma and came straight over. She kept me sane and helped me focus. My mum and I have always been really really close and for a lot of my life it was just the two of us. This time my SO will be there, mum will be there (because I couldn't do it without her) my step mum (we are really close and I only have three half brothers so she may never get to go to another birth) and my mil (her two daughters didn't have her with her three other grandkids and this may be the last). I have strict ground rules about what I want and that I don't want them to interfere with my SO and I but I am really excited to have them all there. I understand completely where you are coming from though. At the end of the day it's your body, your baby and your experience. At the end of the day don't worry about who's feelings you hurt because you can never get the moment of giving birth back so it's important you fight for what you want.
Yes as long as the baby doesn't come before I get induced and she can't make it on time. My mom is a nurse, and I feel as though her comfort will help. I also would like some pictures of my labor and would rather hubby not do them because I want him in them. I wouldn't have a problem being straight forward with her if I didn't want her there. You just have to do whats best for you.
I'm a FTM and I don't want my mom in the room either, I made sure to nip it in the butt the first time she mentioned being there I told her I didn't want her in the room. I could tell she was a little upset seeing as this is her first grandchild but I know that she would just end up annoying the hell out of me with her comments so it's what's best for me.
She was for all 3 of mine children. This time around depends on if my oldest daughter wants to be in there. At my hospital it's only the father and 1 extra person. So she's just gonna have to deal with it if I tell her no. She's gonna be ok tho. She cuz two of my babies cords and was in the room for 8 of her 10 grandchildren. But tell her. She can't be too mad at you and if she is it will only be for a short period.
With my son I wanted my mom, sister, and so. My mom and sister left to go to her work to tell them she couldn't come, they wouldn't pick up the phone. She missed his birth by 5 minutes. But, my dad stayed in the room. It was awkward and I didn't want it at all. I kept looking to make sure he wasn't looking and I was weirded out. But, I didn't know how to tell him to get out. Plus, my dad was a "every other weekend" dad. Which meant getting me from mom and taking me to my grams for the weekend. So we weren't very close. After so said it was uncomfortable for him as well. This time I would love for it to just be so and I. If anyone else my sister and mom. But, that's it and I will put my foot down this time. I would also be okay with so mom, but she passed away years ago.
I'm just having my husband in the room. My mom is flying out (14 hour flight) to visit and stay with us a few weeks after baby is born. Unless he is a week late she won't even be here for his birth. I was wanting at least a few days alone with just my husband and the baby before she gets here anyway so it works out great
No.. I am completely comfortable telling others (including my mom) no. Just be honest to yourself. If you are not comfortable or simply just want it to be you and your SO then that's how it is. Don't let fear of other people's feelings govern your decision.. She may get upset but she will get over it.
I will have my mom and my grandmother in the room with us. We live in different countries and they are flying in 1 week before my due date. Hopefully I don't go earlier.. I'm really close with them and I am the only child and only grandchild so I don't want them to miss the opportunity.
I just do not want to cast my fiancés feelings aside. He has just as much say in it as I do. I know I wouldn't want his mom in there, so I don't expect him to want my mom to be in there. Maybe our second baby she can be in there.
Thanks everyone for the input!!!
I'm with one of the PPs. I'm okay with her being in the room while I'm in earlier labor, but once it comes time to push, I don't want anyone there except my husband.
If you're not comfortable asking her to stay out/leave, talk to your nurses. They'll probably help you out. Most of them don't mind being the bad guys!
My mom (step mom) will be in the room with us, she is the only one that can keep me calm and rational. She also voices my opinion for me when she knows I get extremely shy/nervous to speak up. My husband is a "go with the flow" guy and is by my side but ultimately doesn't know what he's doing ? it was great team work between them both with my first and I believe having them both and having them to laugh/talk with through my labor was a huge help in having the awesome experience I did.
I think she would be a little hurt because as a mom you wanna be there for your child in all that they do especially if they're going into labor! However, I completely understand the emotional bond that you and your man want to experience as a family when baby arrives! At the end of the day its whatever you say that goes. No my mom wasnt there but she got there like an hr later. My boyfriend and other family members went home to handle other things, so it was just my mom, my baby and me... peaceful..
I know this might sound crazy to some but when I was in labor with my first, my mom drove to the hospital and came in into my room. I told her that she can be in there until its time to push. And when that time came,
I asked her to leave the room so its just my husband and I. We never discussed her being
In there. Im sure she didn't like that but oh well. She got over it and when her first grandson was born, she got to hold him and stay there with me for few hours.
NO!! I had my mom in there with my first and she drove me insane. I made her cry at one point on accident. This time will just be me and my boyfriend. She will be keeping our 5 year old. And she is totally fine with not being in the delivery room bc well I'm mean when I'm in labor apparently (pre epidural) lol
For me with my first I told my mom she could come as long as she didn't bother me and stayed quiet lol. She agreed and did exactly that. Unfortunately I ended in emergency c section. So she wasn't able to be there due to only one person which was my hubby. This second baby my MIL wanted to come. I simply told her I didn't think it would be fair to my mom who never actually got to see a birth and then we found out it's another csection so it is only going to be my hubby . I am not comfortable with my MIL being there anyway I would never have let it happen. I also am making both sides of family wait until I am out of recovery to come see us they both live an hour from the hospital so that'll give me an hour with baby and hubby will have 2 hours with baby. With my first they were all there when I came out of recovery and it was to much for me all at once. One thing that my husband did which I loved was we had never talked or considered what we wanted if it ended in c section and so my hubby took initiative and made the decision besides him and the nurses doing there thing no one was allowed to hold the baby until I came out of recovery. And when the grandparents tried he said no my wife hasn't even got to hold her own baby no body is holding him until she does. And I am forever grateful he made that decision as I didn't realize how important it was to me until he told me.
When I had my daughter I wanted just me and my husband but my.mother ended up there and I'm so glad she was. My husband I'd a wonderful man but labor isn't his thing my mother birth 3 kids and was such a big help with breathing, and little bits of info to help.
In the end it's your decision.
My mom has been in the room for all my deliveries and will be for this one too. She isn't pushy though she just was there when I needed her and to be honest her going through it herself before seemed she was more in tune with what I needed more then my husband lol. It still felt special between my husband and I but it also is special for my mom and her grand babies. I hope my daughter will let me in the room when she gives birth I would love to be there but my feelings won't be hurt if she doesn't want me to be. :)
It was just going to be my SO and I but as it gets closer I think I want my mom in there she is a great birthing partner she helped my aunt and my cousin with their deliveries I think I just want her there just incase my SO gets a little overwhelmed with it all he says he will be just fine but I want back up lol
My mom would think I was insane if I told her I didn't want her to be there. lol I'm fine with her being there. She wasn't at my wedding because my husband and I wanted something very intimate and private (she cried) so the birth of our daughter is very very special for her. She lives 4 hours away too so she's coming out for a week when my due date approaches.
I considered having her there with my first, but she never really brought it up. My son was born at about 9pm and she just came the next day to visit us. This time around she will be watching my son. I'm somewhat thankful my MIL lives put of state because I know she would be pushy and invite herself in. If you two are close, I'm sure she will understand.
My mom was in a different state when I had my first. I moved to the state she's in during this pregnancy and now she wants to be in the room. But I'm having a c section so I keep telling her she can't be in there due to I'm only aloud 1 person with me and I'll always choose my husband. She's upset, but I keep telling her the surgery is only 35 minutes long.
Nope. She actually didn't ask to be. Just said, if you need me... I said, nah.
One nice way to gently kick a mom out, try saying "we want minimal people in the room in case something emergent happens, so that the medical team can really focus without extra people in the way".
That way, her NOT being in the room is like, her duty/way of supporting and protecting grandbaby? I dunno... it works for some people ?
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
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With my first I had my husband, both my parents , both of my sisters, and my close cousin in there while I delivered.
This time it will be my husband, my cousin, my mom (maybe), and my sister's will be taking turns between babysitting my daughter and being in the delivery room