So because of Caroline and how she was a surprise and such a wonderful gift. I don't want to start up on birth control after my final checkup. If she was supposed to happen then what if I'm supposed to have another baby? Everyone is telling me that I should go on birth control, you don't want to have one right after you are healing, you need more time to grieve. But I'll always need time to heal and grieve. I just don't want to mess up what is intended on me to do. Is that wrong?