Yeah. if he isn't gonna help you and your just raising them mom to step mom then he needs to make other arrangements. I understand he is trying to support his children and they are your children now too but it isn't solely your responsibility. You need to take care of you child and he needs to take care of all of his children. That's not fair to you

@beebaby, hence the reason im upset. they come to see their dad. and if hes gonna be at work whats the point? their mother never does anything with them so it cant be to give her extra breaks. im just upset

we would be having more than a talk after that. if he isn't helping then what is the point of them being there

@mommyofsoontob3, exactly my point. i already have issues getting them to listen to me. they are very hyper active kids. not trying to sound horrible but i dont think im going to have the rest or patience to deal with that. olus be up all night also because he sleeps due to working. im just frutrated because he added soo much extra stress to my plate and im not ready yet

As a step mom of three kids as well, you are not wrong at all. He should have talked it over with you.

thanks guys. im just worried. idk how im going to manage at first. i just wanna enjoy my baby, and get used to my. mommy life before caring for everyone else too.

I don't think you're wrong ! I feel the same way

Yeah, if he's not going to be there at all, that's a different story! You're going to need so much rest. I would just talk to him about it, or even talk to the kids mom (if she's understanding).

But you never know you might be able to juggle it just fine once you get use to the new baby . Either way just talk to him and take it day by day

@armywife2, dont get me wrong. i love the girls. but when they come over, they stay up super late the wake up super early and when daddy isnt around i habe a hard time getting them to listen. im just stressed because hes not gonna be home at all to help. and i feel like i wont be as available to them and their needs like i should be. and i have to keep a constant eye on the little one cuz she gets into things. and i just feel like its stressful and unfair. i understand if he was gonna be home with them, but hes gonna be working doubles all weekend every weekend. so its just me and all 4 kids. im not saying i dont want them at all, im just saying i dont think he should have agreed to every weekemd without talking to me about my feelings first.

No you are not and I think you should talk to him being a new mom is as it is !! Hell being a mom for the second third or etc is hard because each baby is different you have to get to know your baby . That's takes time all by itself then adding on other kids makes it harder . Specially ones of that age that needs attention and still needs to be watched . That's a lot to take on with a newborn specially YOUR FIRST !! I'd talk to him about it you can still get them but not every weekend and maybe or maybe get them for now but once baby comes let y'all both adjust to the huge change get comfortable with the new baby and then his kids can come over every weekend when you know you can handle it with no problem !!

In my opinion, I completely understand where you're frustrated. I would want that time to relax, recover, etc. but, at the same time, I think your boyfriend just wants to make sure his kids see yall's baby as equals if that makes sense? He can't stop seeing his kids because y'all have one together. Not trying to say anything bad whatsoever, but I came from a split home also, and my younger siblings felt the way I'm trying to explain.. Plus, the 10 year old could be SO much help with a newborn! If the first weekend is too much, maybe explain that you'll need rest the following weekend. It'll get figured out. Don't stress about it :)