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Moms are battling it out over who’s the better parent: the working or non-working mom? But the truth is, life isn’t easy for any parent – whether they’re staying at home or spending the day at work 👶🏻 But unfortunately, they get criticized either way. Moms who balance a job and their family deserve major respect (as do SAHM), especially since their job doesn’t end when they get home. We asked the mom.life community what myths they’d like to bust about working moms, and here is what they had to say about it 💞

➡️ 1. No, we don’t work to get away from our children.

“One myth that drives me nuts is when stay at home moms say ‘well, you work only to get away from your children.’ Well I don't get away from children! In fact I work with children who are far more demanding than my son. I work with special needs children.”

“I personally think everyone should work only because it's something for YOU. I do hair and I absolutely love it and it is a way for me to worry about just me and focus on my goals for the three days out of the week. Every mom should have their own thing for sure.”

“People think it's a break from being around my baby 24/7 but really all I want is to be home with her.”

“That being at work is a like a break because we get away from the baby/kids for a while. I am working 24/7. I work 9 hours Monday thru Thursday and when I'm not at work I'm at home doing laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, paying bills, and taking care of the baby. I don't get much sleep because my baby is always hungry and or needs changed and attention. Working moms never get a break! Especially EBF moms because not just anyone can feed the baby. If I don't have milk pumped and ready it’s all on me to stop what I'm doing and nurse him. Moms are super heroes!”

➡️ 2. We can work and still have time for our kids.

“I'm a freelance translator (in Russia) and I worked till delivery and got back to work when my LO was just two months old. I only work when my baby's asleep or when they're spending time together with his dad. The pros of my work is that I don't need to get away from the baby or pump and that I can choose my workload (being a workaholic, I usually choose heavy). And yes, I get quite a good wage for those hours I do work. As for the cons, I work at nights (till 1 am most often), don't get to spend much time with BOTH the baby and my husband, and my house is quite often a mess (my husband helps me keep it in order but he works full day and I prefer him spending time with the baby to cleaning the house). Well, anyway, I don't do it just for money but because I love my work and self-improvement. And I still find time to play with the baby and do some activities for his development. And btw I'm trying to raise a bilingual child (we speak Russian one day and English the next), so my work helps with this, too.”

“Myth: That working moms don't have time to spend with their child(ren). I work 8-12 hour shifts and I STILL find the time to play and snuggle with my son.”

“It's really multitasking at its finest and I'm proud to be a working mother.”

➡️ 3. We do this for our kids.

“That we didn't have a choice to work or stay home... I'm excited to be a mom but I've always put a big emphasis on being successful in my career. It is very important for my daughter to know that she can be successful beyond just an identity of being a wife and mother and I love to be able to lead by example.”

➡️ 4. Yes, we worry about them while we’re at work.

“When we are at work, we constantly worry!!! My child is in day care and he was crying when I left him telling me that he misses me! I hold on to my tears till I get in the car! Later: How long was he crying for? Did he eat at lunch? Is he getting enough attention? Etc...In the meantime I have to focus at work and be there for 8-9 hours! Staying at home is not easy either, but your child is always under your watch! Staying at home it's definitely a full time job (unpaid and unappreciated) but as working mom I have 2 full time jobs and I have to make it work because none are optional!”

“I cried the day I went back to work. I worried she would refuse her bottle (filled with liquid gold) and scream until I got there on my lunch. I worry about running out of my milk stash even though I have about a month saved. I worry every day about her and I pump at work so I know I can give her the best I can.”

➡️ 5. It’s definitely not as easy as people think.

“I’m currently a stay at home mom but I worked 40+ hours when I first had my son, and its hard waking up early to make sure you have everything packed for you and the baby to drop them off at the sitters. Then I worked 12 hour shifts of hard hospital work - on my feet all day just to get off work and then pick the baby up if my husband hasn’t gotten off work yet. Then its fixing dinner and trying to enjoy the little bit of time I have with my baby boy before he went to bed and I would have to stay up late to do house work just to wake up the next morning and do it all over. Yes I am very lucky to have a man that helped me with cooking and cleaning since we both worked long days but now it’s so much easier on us both because I can do all the house work and take care of our son while he works to support us.”

“Myth: It’s easy to drop baby off for the day and let someone else do the work. Fact: I start planning my day the night before. I get up by 4 am every morning so I can get an extra pumping in and still feed the baby, get ready and packed so I can get to work on time at 8. I also drive to daycare every day, but more importantly so I can see her beautiful face and smile every day and remember why I have to work.

➡️ 6. There’s a lot of pressure placed on us.

“I just went back to work last week and I’m truly struggling juggling a demanding career, ebf, the house, husband, and baby. I feel like I don't have enough time to give my best at any of these tasks. Not to mention my daughter doesn't sleep. I think as moms we all feel pulled in a thousand directions. I just wish the pressures of career wasn’t so hard as balancing the mommy guilt for not being able to be there all day. We need to unite as moms! It’s hard no matter what you do!”

➡️ 7. We don’t like to be compared to non-working moms.

“Life isn't easy for any parent, and just like shaming moms who bf/formula feed, I believe moms should stop shaming for working/staying home.”

“I don't like to hear that working moms don't understand the struggle that stay at home moms face every day. We do understand because we have to fit in what you have all day to do in just a few hours before/after work. I will still have to feed my baby breakfast and get him/her dressed in the am but I can't take my time doing it because I have a job to go to. I still have to get the house clean and cook meals because if I left that up to my bf, we'd be eating fast food every day and the house would be dusty and dirty as all heck. I still will be spending time with my baby but I have to fit all the enjoyment of watching him/her grow in a few short hours and hope I don't miss anything. Also, we don't get to nap when our baby naps because we're at work. A girl once told me that my man must not be reliable because he can't provide enough for us that I could stay home. That's not true, he could. But we want to know we can always be able to financially provide for our baby and that's just not possible with us if only one person has a job. I just don't ever want to hear that working and having a nanny watch your baby is an easy way out, because it's definitely not.”

➡️ 8. We can still do work that non-pregnant women can.

“I’m in the medical field. I work 40+ hours a week and I’m 26 weeks pregnant. They say you can’t do lifts or transfers, which is not entirely true. As long as your body is used to it before you got pregnant, you can still do it while pregnant. But you have to be a bit cautious... you can’t fully lift a person on your own but you can assist and do transfers and such. Your body will tell you then if it's had enough.”

“When I was pregnant, I was a corrections officer at the county jail and I honestly worked up until my son was born. And little did I know, he came 2 weeks early. At first my future in-laws weren't as excited about me working in a dangerous environment and being pregnant. But they always supported me and so did my fiancé. I understood completely from where they were coming from. But I needed to work and pay my bills. And believe me it was hard since I was 4'11 and having a belly was a lot harder to frisk search the inmates and serve meals but I did it. I was on my feet all the time for 8 hours straight. I guess a myth is you can work anywhere and anytime however long you want. As long as you feel comfortable and safe! I had my co-workers help me a lot and had my back. We are trained to do a good job and keep each other safe. I am now a stay at home and love being with my son even he is a challenge at times but I'm also glad I have the opportunity to take care of him and build a beautiful bond with him.”

Share your stories about working and being a mom in the comments below 💻

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Комментарии

delaneyhack
Delaney Hackworth·Мама дочки-младенца

I'm at stay at home mom, and even though I've struggled with being cooped up in the house I feel so lucky to be home with my daughter every day. I couldn't imagine having to work to pay for someone else to watch her learn and grow. I'm very grateful that my boyfriends job pays enough to cover expenses and gives us enough money to have fun and enjoy ourselves as well.

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scc2413
Sydney·Мама сына-младенца

I'm actually being forced to stay home for these next 4 months due to miscommunication at a daycare and a spot that was open for our son apparently never was. My boyfriend is a server and we're both finishing up our last year of college. I love the idea of staying home with him but I'm not the kind of person that can stay cooped up in the house all day so I'm constantly finding something to do with the baby. Between a wedding we have to go to Florida for, a bridal shower that im planning and Christmas all in December, we can't afford for me not to work but at this point we have no choice.

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klarrissab
KB·Мама дочки-младенца

@preggie_help_ios, how do we update our profile that we gave birth so it no longer says I'm pregnant?

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emilye
Emily·В ожидании первенца

I have to go back to work when my baby's born and it breaks my heart. I would love to be a stay at home mom and take care of him but it isn't a possibility right now. Hopefully some day in the future I'll be able to do that, or maybe even just work part time but for now I'm stuck in a job I hate.

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ktwins188
Kassandra·Мама двоих (младенец)

I work eight hours a day . after I get off work I'm still on the clock when I get home my bf watches my twins while I work

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ciaramarie
Ciara·Мама двоих (младенец)

I've done both. When my son was 3/4 I worked full time. Then I quit my job and stayed home with him. Then I got pregnant with my daughter (found out in December) started a part time job in Jan 2015. I worked until July when I was put on medical leave. Then had my daughter in September and I went back to work in October still part time. Then we moved and I stayed home for 3 months then I just got a job beginning of August full time. And I will say working is so much more difficult (for me at least) when I stayed home I had all day to get everything done. It wasn't constant go go go. But with me working. I get up at like 645 am get myself ready, kids ready and get to work at 830 and work until 530 pm. When I get home I have to cook dinner and make sure my son doesn't have any homework. Do bath time and bed time then clean up from dinner. Then even after that, if baby wakes up I get her. So it's more constant since I'm limited to just a few hours to get things done at home. I would love to stay home but it's just not financially realistic right now. But I don't think I'm better than a stay at home mom. We all work hard. I think things are just more stressful while working since your limited to so much time to care for the house & kids and spending time with your children.

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preggersblues
Vee·Мама двоих (младенец)

Im a stay at home single parent and its not easy, Ive been a full time Soldier in the U.S. Army all over the world for my childs first 8yrs and to be honest its harder being a stay at homer. From the unwanted judgement to the constant high expectations from my children. Its a blessing never the less, but I promise I sometimes miss the break of mommy duties and the social interaction with adults.

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followoursurrogacy
Rebecca·Мама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого

I've been both a working mom and a stay at home mom. After my twins were born, I had my oldest (just turning two) and had to make lots of NICU visits while my twins were in the hospital after birth on top of pumping, college, and taking care of my 2yo. I was a stay at home mom for 7 months during this period and it was very difficult. There's a lot of pressure being a SAHM. When I went back to work, I juggled school and raising kids too and my life was pretty much a day by day blur for a year and a half until I finished up my degree. I was a single mom during all of this. Either way, being a mom is a big task, whether you do it alone, work, don't work, etc. Our kids look up to us to teach them right from wrong and whether we are with them all day, or a short amount of time, it's a lot in itself being a parent. I give ALL mamas kudos for raising their babies in any way possible ♡

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mamabear.7
*Adrianna*·Мама троих детей

IM NOT BELITTLING ANY ONE!!! Perhaps i said it wrong so let me clarify, I BELIEVE IF YOUR MARRIED AN HAVE CHILDREN THE MAN SHOULD TAKE CARE OF HIS FAMILY AS THE WIFE STAYS HOME RAISING THEIR CHILDREN!!! NOW IF YOUR A SINGLE WOMAN/ MAN YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO PROVIDE AND WORK. LIKE I.E. IM MARRIED SO I BELIEVE MY HUSBAND IS TOO TAKE CARE OF US.. I STAY HOME RAISING MY CHILDREN ! BEFORE I MADE THE STEP TO GET MARRIED, SUBMIT TO MY HUSBAND AND LET HIM BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE I USED TO WORK TOO. . I HAVE A DEGREE IN THE MEDICAL FIELD MYSELF...

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tt416
t·Мама подростков

We both work because we love our kids and want the best for them. We work opposite shift so we can give them the best and they are always with us. I have also been a stay at home.mother and for 3 years it was awesome but I also wanted a career as well

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yungbae
Jaela·Мама сына-младенца

It's not an unfortunate situation for some of us. I love working. My and SO and I alternate our days. When I work he's off and stays at home and vice versa. It's an even balance and works for us. I'm not keen on letting him do "all the work" that just not me. I love my son to death but I also love what I do.

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sam.g
Sam G.·В ожидании первенца

I know for me, I would love to stay home, at least until my son is in school. But if I did that, we wouldn't be able to afford our life. So I will go back to work, leave my son with my in-laws, and just hope that everything will be well. I don't think I am alone. I bet many moms wish they could stay home, especially for their little years before school, but simply can't afford to.

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nurseriri
Ria·Мама сына-младенца

@mamabear777, I won't call being a working mom unfortunate. Then again depends on what you do. I love my job as a nurse and I'm fortunate to have that career path. Wouldn't change it for anything to be a SAHM.

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nurseriri
Ria·Мама сына-младенца

I'm a ft working mom and a ft mother. I love my career path and busted my behind in college to be where I'm at and rather not be a SAHM. I'm secure and can provide a better lifestyle for my son. I also love being a mother and I am able to balance the both. My boyfriend is also a ft dad and a career man. We both provide what's best for our son and frankly we wouldn't want it any other way. Luckily for me I work 3 days 12 hours shift so the balance is there.

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mamabear.7
*Adrianna*·Мама троих детей

Comparing one to the other isn't necessary. . . All mothers have a hard duty maintaining our homes an families. . . Some woman are just blessed they have a man around who takes full responsibility. . . Others aren't so fortunate. . That is all 😘

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rosiel49
Rosie·Мама сына (2 года), беременна (16 нед.)

I don't think I'm at all better then a working mom. I always admired them and always made sure to mention how much I admired them. it was always the working moms that put me down which is when I started becoming uneasy with them. they always said "well you don't do anything but stay at home. you're just lazy". when being a stay at home mom is a lot more then just staying at home with my special need son.

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krissy6501
Kristin lane·Мама двоих (младенец)

That's why I love this app. Since joining I haven't seen any negativity and everyone gets along great! How it should be. I'm a mom of 2. 2 year old and 2 week old. I'm going back to work in a couple days. I work 3 days a week around my husband's schedule. Not sure where I fit in and I don't care care. Being a stay at home mom is a hard enough job in itself. Doesn't matter if you have a job or not.

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c00kiemomster
Elizabeth·Мама дочки (2 года)

I concur with the fact that working is also for yourself. I started working at a young age and was hooked. I absolutely love my job and have planned to do what I do since I was 15yrs old. I started learning skills for what I do at 8yrs old. It has truly been a lifetime of learning for me. I adore being a mommy though. After I get off work and on my days off I cherish our moments together. And it is hard to keep up with everything. I am on call 24/7, but also have to keep up with my house, and all that entails, and take care of my husband and child. It is hard to fit everything that could take days doing into a few hours in the evening.

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thumbalina001
Erica Veliz·Мама двоих (младенец)

I do not think i am any better than a mother who works. People are really fighting about things like this ?

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