massgirl
Mandy
Another family debate between my husband and I....
So for background anytime we travel we always bring back souvenirs for our nieces and nephews (there's 4 total). We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon, Disney, and other places over the years and we always drop $50-100 on each child and bring them back something.
Now here's the issue...My bil and his wife are taking their 3 kids to Disney next year and have been begging for Disney gift cards instead of normal gifts for birthdays and Christmas so the kids can get souvenirs...in my head souvenirs are apart of vacation expenses so you either need to tell the kids they aren't getting everything under the sun or rework the budget to get them things.
My husband thinks I'm being difficult and should just get the gift cards but I don't want to. I'm not expecting them to get my daughter anything (since they never do) but I sure as heck don't want to pay for something they should be budgeting for on their own.
So for background anytime we travel we always bring back souvenirs for our nieces and nephews (there's 4 total). We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon, Disney, and other places over the years and we always drop $50-100 on each child and bring them back something.
Now here's the issue...My bil and his wife are taking their 3 kids to Disney next year and have been begging for Disney gift cards instead of normal gifts for birthdays and Christmas so the kids can get souvenirs...in my head souvenirs are apart of vacation expenses so you either need to tell the kids they aren't getting everything under the sun or rework the budget to get them things.
My husband thinks I'm being difficult and should just get the gift cards but I don't want to. I'm not expecting them to get my daughter anything (since they never do) but I sure as heck don't want to pay for something they should be budgeting for on their own.
2.8 года
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I think it’s tacky to ask for things like this as gifts, personally. But I also like things to be easier on me and this sounds like a very easy gift to give. 😆 I’m sure they can afford to buy their kids their own souvenirs. Also, who wants to lug back a bunch of crap from vacation??
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I mean disney gift cards would be a fun gift for them, whether the parents or the kids asked. Then they can get whatever souvenir or whatever that they want.
How old are the kids? Like would having independent spending money rather than parents handling it be exciting? If so I would offer the gift cards for spending money for the trip or something else. Let them decide, it’s their gift!
If the kids are asking for the gift cards I don't see a problem.
They aren't the parents are
We go to Disney often. My kids have always received Disney gift cards for birthdays/Christmas and love picking things out while on vacation with “their own money”. We never asked for it, it just kind of happened, and finances or budgeting are not an issue for us at all. However, I will also say that, in some instances, I think the gift card ends up being a better gift than another random toy that they don’t end up playing with.
I can see this working...but you also never asked (repeatedly I imagine) for it ...which is just ugh 🙄
I agree with you. 🤧
Can you ask the kids what they would rather have?
I guess I could but let's be honest they'll probably want the gift or they've already been brainwashed to tell people they want the gift card
@massgirl my sister went a few times and said her boys wanted cards. They were around the same ages. When a kid sees their parents using cards and they start working with money, they probably feel important getting to use a gift card/their own money. I get the vibe you are over this family and their damn cards! 🤣🤣
@scidg3 I do get that perspective...but you're right I'm sooo over them and they're cheap and tacky ways
Idk I don't see the problem lol. If they're just asking for gift cards instead of whatever other gift, I don't see what's wrong with that. Now if they wanted it on top of a gift I wouldn't do it. Either way you're spending money so 🤷🏻♀️
@leahh, this. I always ask for gift cards or something like museum passes so they get what they want and can make memories, most of the time with the passes the relative will go with them so it’s a way to make memories with them.
@leahh like I said before my bil is the type that would rather spend your money than his....it's not about having the money in my opinion.
@mb2424 I think that's different and I've even done that in the pass for them (get museum passes)...but they've said out right we should get the kids Disney gift cards so they can get their own souvenirs....to me that's something the parents should be allotting money towards
Next year? Did they already all have birthdays? Is the trip close to 2021 Christmas? I wouldn't give gift cards anyway, children that young would prefer the gift and I'm not sure they would understand that they got a gift to use in the future. If I had came up with the idea to gift them money for Disney, then I'd do it, otherwise, I'd get them something they could appreciate at the time the gift is given. I feel like if you got them gift cards, you'd have to get them a small gift also; the gift cards are really for the parents in a sense, and the children would want something that actually resembles what a gift look like to a 6 and 8 yr old.
February 2022....the kids have June and September birthdays....and exactly my point they aren't really "gifts" it's more of helping with the expense of souvenirs
@massgirl I feel like even though they're asking for gift cards to replace gifts for these occasions, you'd still have to get the children gifts differently.
@mujerstillregal I would because my daughter is their age and always picks out gifts for her cousins. She wouldn't understand not giving them a gift that she picked out ...she would still insist we get them something.
If there asking for gift cards instead of Christmas and birthday gift I would just get and put the amount I would usually spend on a gift
I don’t like giving gift cards in any situation, especially to younger kids....so I’d just buy them gifts & disregard the gift card suggestion. I wouldn’t even let it phase me. Lol 😂
I do agree with you. But as years have past and I get older, I've realized most things are just not worth my time or energy. I always prefer to give gifts rather than gift cards, but if that's what they asked for, I'd rather save my breath, not give it a second thought, get the card and move on
@massgirl 🤣 I have the mindset that if it doesn't directly affect me, my kids, my husband or our business, then I just dgaf 🤣
@luna_bear lol I need to get there I guess I'm still "new" in this family and some of the things they do are just soooo tacky. Like bro you make six figures take your own family on vacation and quit asking for handouts
@massgirl yeah it's definitely odd. When we go on vacation I'm prepared to spend a bunch of money. Anyone who wants to plan a trip should be. A kid doesn't want a gift card anyway, they want toys!
Are they expecting or asking for a certain amount in gift cards? If it were me I’d give 20$ gift cards for each kid. I agree that it’s the parents responsibility to budget getting things for their kids. But this way they can still use the money towards a souvenir but if they want more or a pricy one than their parents need to cover that cost. From the comments seems like they aren’t tight for money and are capable of doing this without gift cards.
I was thinking about that but I'm having a hard time even doing that...my sil told my mil, her mother, and sister that this was what we should get the kids for their birthdays and Christmas...I know the grandparents might and if aunts do too that easily $100+...so basically they're asking family to cover the souvenirs which is just so...idk tacky, cheap, wrong in my opinion.
@massgirl, oh I agree it’s defs tacky, maybe get them things they could use on the trip like personalized water bottles or new backpacks?
I think it’s tacky to ask for things like this as gifts, personally. But I also like things to be easier on me and this sounds like a very easy gift to give. 😆 I’m sure they can afford to buy their kids their own souvenirs. Also, who wants to lug back a bunch of crap from vacation??
I agree with tacky, that's why I wanted to know about finances. Like is this something they're trying to do after a terrible year with covid but they can't really afford it? Or do they not budget and blow their money on crap?
I would just buy the gift cards though. Just to be easy and done with all the IVF stuff. Keep it simple and stress free.
Yessss SO tacky. My sil has suggested it to me twice now and everytime I just....😬🙄.... they're actually really good at budgeting and can afford things fine.. it's more of the case of why should I spend my money when I can spend yours with my bil @jenx
@massgirl then just get them what you want. They can afford Disney on their own if they choose to.
Side question: I know they need to budget, but what is the parent's income truly like? Is Disney a big stretch for them?
Absolutely not. They were originally going to Europe last summer but that obviously was cancelled. They're using their credits and what not to fly to Disney. I know my bil makes low six figures.
I’m with you. Also it’s unfair for you to sacrifice your opportunity to give them a gift to line the parents vacation pockets. I agree that if you can’t afford something, you shouldn’t do it and half assing it isn’t fair to the kids either.
Exactly. The kids are also only turning 6 and 8 this year so I just can't picture them being okay with not getting gifts because they're getting a gift card to use in 8 months 🙄