23&Me update:
I’m so sorry to keep you all hanging! It’s been an insanely busy last few days. So this is going to be a long post, heads up!
So it’s always been a joke in our family that my dad wasn’t actually my biological dad- So I’ve had an idea. My cousin on my dads side did 23&Me so I did it then so it would match us as cousins (or not) and we’d know. Well, as you know it came back that he wasn’t my cousin. Therefore concluding that my dad wasn’t my biological dad. And that’s okay! My dad was a wonderful father. I never wanted for anything, and I was fully loved. So no worries! He passed away in 2016.
It linked me with a first cousin that I’ve never met. She immediately messaged me, and we started to dig. It was almost immediately that we figured out it was her uncle on her mother’s side. And after talking for a bit, it came out that he ran around with my dad‘s/mom’s friend group.
The story goes that my dad and mom were together.l in 1988. They then broke up for about five or six weeks. Then got back together and stayed together for another 6 years.
My due date was March 8. So when my mom figured out she was pregnant (at 29 weeks! Super late.) she went to my grandma freaking out. They counted back and figured I was conceived when my dad and mom got back together after their break.
Welllll, I was then born February 21st. 9lbs. Fully functional. No nicu time. Even the doctor said “ we may have got the due date wrong”. So that would mean I was actually conceived during those five or six weeks when my mom and dad were broken up.
So anyway, I met my new cousin for drinks! I’ll link a picture so you can see the similarities. She’s so sweet and we immediately hit it off. We have so many things in common, and she invited me to her bachelorette party and I just got an invitation to her wedding. 🥺❤️ We are already so close.
And then the following night I met the biological father, my aunt (my cousins mom), and my grandmother.
I started off with letting them know that my father will always be treated with respect. We will only speak of him with respect. I told them that I love him fully, and I had a wonderful childhood so there will be no hard feelings there. Everyone totally agreed.
I’m super thankful because the grandmother is super liberal. 😂. I was a little afraid considering they’re from southern Illinois. Hahah.
Everything was super easy, and fun! My biological father, Dale, was thrilled.
He said he questioned my mom twice after I was born, and she shut it down and told him that I was my dads. He was then pretty much kicked out of the friend group, and he told me he had put it completely out of his mind and that he was sorry he didn’t push more. I told him it’s totally okay since I had a happy childhood.
He texted me after I left telling me that that was the happiest he’s been in at least 15 years.
We will be having a family reunion in October so everyone can meet me & my kids.
Honestly I think it’s kind of a blessing in disguise. My dad has passed on. And while it breaks me to know my kids will never know him personally, I think it’s cool that they could potentially have another grandfather to get to know!
So I have to 2 half siblings! I am the definition of family oriented, so I’m so excited! He will be telling my siblings today, and I will be telling my mom that I know either tonight or tomorrow. I’m going to approach it with nothing but kindness and let her know that I’m not upset at all. She’s very emotional, so I’m hoping that goes well. Honestly she’s the only one that I’m worried about.
My sisters (that I grew up with) also think it’s super cool. Everyone has been totally excepting so far and I think this could be a really cool experience!
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Update:
TRIGGER WARNING: rape
I told my mom.
She handled it all great. She did start crying because she was apparently with my bio father, had a one night stand with a pos idiot (which she said she woke up and wanted to puke. She was like wtf was I thinking!?), and then she was raped one night 😕. Only knows his name as Dave.
So she has always been afraid to find out that I was a rapists baby. That and my dad made her promise to never tell me. That he wanted to raise me.
She said she was so relived I wasn't the rapists baby. She said she’d obviously love me no matter what- same with my dad. She was just protecting me because she didn’t know how I’d handle knowing I was born from rape. (Had I been) That and with my due date being all sorts of messed up, she was genuinely just confused on my conception date.
So she’s super relived that it wasn’t the rapist and it wasn’t that random one night stand.
She is great with the idea of me getting to know these people. She even said she may fly home to have dinner with bio father and talk it all out in person.
There is no hard feelings.
And now she's just fine. She handled it perfectly, and I respect her reasons for not telling me.
Now we just have to tell the two siblings. My bio father is supposed to speak with the brother today. 🤞🏼
Комментарии
Wow wow wow! So sorry your mom had to go through that and carry it for so long. I can’t imagine the weight that’s been lifted off of hers and your shoulders. I am so rooting for all of you!
@jennatess, I am so sorry that your mother went through all of that. I am happy that you didn’t turn out to be the rapist child. I hope that your mom will feel happy seeing your father again and that you will all have a great time with your fathers side of the family!
@lexieee89899, @massmomma16, @massgirl, @rybugg413, @badwolfmomma15, @scidg3, @xrural_witchx, @leahh, @yurmomsahoe, @myargentinandmystomachhurts, @flamingfiremom, @jenx, @humblewarriormama, @2sweetie, @ksmommyx3, @squishymommy1, @heatherlou88, @jays.mom., @mswedes, @justgotaname, posted an update 🔼❤️
Update:
TRIGGER WARNING: rape
I told my mom.
She handled it all great. She did start crying because she was apparently with my bio father, had a one night stand with a pos idiot (which she said she woke up and wanted to puke. She was like wtf was I thinking!?), and then she was raped one night 😕. Only knows his name as Dave.
So she has always been afraid to find out that I was a rapists baby. That and my dad made her promise to never tell me. That he wanted to raise me.
She said she was so relived I wasn't the rapists baby. She said she’d obviously love me no matter what- same with my dad. She was just protecting me because she didn’t know how I’d handle knowing I was born from rape. (Had I been) That and with my due date being all sorts of messed up, she was genuinely just confused on my conception date.
So she’s super relived that it wasn’t the rapist and it wasn’t that random one night stand.
She is great with the idea of me getting to know these people. She even said she may fly home to have dinner with bio father and talk it all out in person.
There is no hard feelings.
And now she's just fine. She handled it perfectly, and I respect her reasons for not telling me.
Now we just have to tell the two siblings. My bio father is supposed to speak with the brother today. 🤞🏼
@jennatess, wow!! I’m sorry your mom endured that!! I’m so happy for your happy ending though!! 💜
Literally brought tears to my eyes. So happy for you, what a blessing it all turned out to be!
@jennatess I am SO happy for you. Not gonna lie I was like 😬 when you posted a few weeks ago about you taking the test....It sounds like you have had nothing but positive things come from this experience though and your family will continue to grow as you get to know more about your bio father's side.
Wow awesome update! I’m glad everything worked out good. It seems like everyone is very supporting which is so nice.
You guys look alike! So awesome that everything is so positive and you have gained more family to love! I hope your mom takes everything well and she is nothing but supportive.
Thank you! I’m telling her tonight. Pray for me. 😅😂
Whoa!!!!! What a surprise! This is so awesome!!! I'm glad it's all working out perfectly for you! ♡
Wow! I'm glad you're able to handle it with such grace! Hopefully your mom won't get upset. Your bio dad saying its the happiest he's been in 15 years makes me wanna cry. 😭❤️ So sweet. I hope everything continues to go smoothly. It must be so amazing to find all this family. It really makes me want to do an a 23&me test. My grandpa was adopted but we don't know who his birth parents are. It's believed that his bio mom stayed in the area so there's always a possibility I have cousins around that I don't know about. 🥺
Thank you!
And DO IT! It’s so cool. It seems pricy, but you learn so much. Like random stuff like “you’re likely to have dimples” or “your not likely to have flat feet”. It’s all crazy!
Do ancestry. It’s easier to find people with.
Wooow that’s amazing !! I always wondered who my other family was.. This makes me want to get it done lol but to spend that much ... idk 😂
I sat on it for a bit. But I’m glad I finally made the purchase. It’s super cool too - you learn so much.
Thank you so much! I’m just hoping the half siblings & my mom handle it okay. 🤞🏼
Honestly, this made me tear up a bit. So happy for you that this is having such a positive outcome and your outlook is wonderful!
How amazing is this blessing in disguise. Don't make me tear up on a Friday! Lol. I'm so happy for you hunnay! 💗
Jenna, this is so awesome! You have a whole new family to get to know! I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad, and no one will ever replace him. It's so awesome that your kids have a grandfather figure on your side once more!! Wishing you all the luck on letting your mother know. Hopefully she sees the blessing in this💜
Such a good outcome! 💜💜
I’ve been thinking about you and all of this. You have a tremendous outlook and I hope your mom can see that and not take away from your experience. Keep us posted! This is such a cool story
Thank you!! My best friend was like “honestly, thank God this is happening to you because a lot of people wouldn’t be able to look at it was such enthusiastic acceptance.” Hahah. And I guess that’s true! I know it sounds cheesy, but I truly think that life is just too short to be angry if we can help not to be.
@jennatess, yes! I feel the same way! It was a lesson that took me a long time to learn but I’m glad I learned it. It doesn’t take away from your dad who raised you. That love was genuine and irreplaceable. Your circle just grew. That’s it.
Wow!!! Thanks for the update! I’ve been wondering about you! I’m glad everything is working out well!!! And I hope your mom takes it well too!! 💜
Thank you! She’s a hot mess when it comes to emotions. We’ve always had to walk on egg shells with her, so I appreciate the hope that she’ll take it okay! Haha
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@lexieee89899, @massmomma16, @massgirl, @rybugg413, @badwolfmomma15, @scidg3, @xrural_witchx, @leahh, @yurmomsahoe, @myargentinandmystomachhurts, @flamingfiremom, @jenx, @humblewarriormama, @2sweetie, @ksmommyx3, @squishymommy1, @heatherlou88, @jays.mom., @mswedes, @justgotaname, posted an update 🔼❤️