Mo your not being irrational. I have these fears too. My 2 year old is the same way and we do spank him, and give him time outs but nothing seems to work and he thinks its just a game. Im not sure what to do anymore but i feel the sane way you do that he us going to resent me once day.

There will be a thank you later on believe me, my dad was tough on us when we were younger and we thank him for it now

Thank you! I can be extremely passive because her and I always had an understanding so I never needed to be tough. I just have to keep telling myself that as long as its out of love its okay and she’ll understand when she’s older. I appreciate your advice.

There's a difference between being a "tough mom" and an "abusive one". Anyone who has had a tough mom can tell you that, so be tough. Be tough with all your heart and mind, and shower her with love along the way. Structure and boundaries are needed. Mama, as long as you are strong in structure and in love your daughter will turn out fine. Don't worry about her hating you, worry about her respecting you and even more so herself. Better for the tough love today than the jail visit tomorrow. Don't compare yourself to her father and be consistent in all you do for and with her. As she gets older she will see the benefit and learn to understand what is permissible in each parents' home/presence. She will adapt and adopt the better ways of each of you and will be ok in the end as long as you are consistent and allow her to have "kid time" also. There is a time and place for everything. You've got this!

Have a strong back bone. I thought at first reading this that maybe she was older, but she’s almost 3. She needs structure and lots of love. She needs to know there are rules. Make sure you’re disciplining is consistent. Don’t yell. A spank never hurt anybody. I respect my parents for being strict but loving. “Shape the kid’s will without breaking their spirit” my mom tells me.

Have you tried positive reinforcement? I’ve been using sticker charts with my kids and it’s working wonders this summer! Your daughter is pretty young and my kids both threw a lot of tantrums at her age. I usually said “uh oh” and either redirected or used “calm down time” in their rooms. I still have to with my 4 year old. I’m against spanking and sometimes lose my temper and raise my voice and it never helps the situation.

My mom was extremely structured and I learned as I got older that while I thought she was mean and cold, she almost had to be because my dad always gave in and was wildly emotional. I’m thankful now. It took a while to appreciate. I’m not gonna lie but she’s the reason I’m the mom I am today. It’s why I don’t give up and wake up every day working as hard as I do for my littles.