Mixed emotions. I feel regret sometimes marrying my husband and not someone who treated me better. Then I look at my girls and know they are the reason I could never leave. I just want to be appreciated. I want him to be understanding instead of critical of me. I enjoyed my last two pregnancies and sadly I have not enjoyed this one. On top of the wear and tear on my body and all the issues I've had, I've had no support. All I wanted was a husband who had more empathy and humility. Instead, all I have had the entire pregnancy is judgment and meanness toward me. For example, at the beginning of my pregnancy when I was sick all the time, he told me it "probably didn't help to come home, lay down, and be lazy." My own husband called me lazy for wanting to come home and lay down because I wasn't feeling well. And to think he has had the audacity to suggest a fourth child because he wants a boy. That would absolutely be a No way, not happening. I'm done giving him children. I've been praying God would make my marriage good. I'm starting to loose hope.
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Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Trigger. Lost baby
Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?
Judge me all you want BUT wtf is it about pregnancy that makes me so insanely flirtatious and turned on by women. Like..I don't care if my man ever touches me, I just want to be with a woman. 😅 He's always said it was okay, but..I've never found the write one to chill with. Small Towns suck..
Anyone NOT want their hubby's/SO to stay at the hospital with you during your stay? I know it sounds harsh, but my husband stayed at the hospital during my stay when I had our son and he drove me crazy bc all he did was complain. Now he tells me (2 days before my csection) that he's going to stay and I don't want him to.
Short Luteal Phase?
I've just started temping because I believe that the reason I haven't had a BFP yet, after 20 months, is because I believe I may have a Luteal Phase Defect.