How Do I Balance Motherhood and Personal Freedom?
The other day I was a wreck. I woke up went to work. A lot of women work until either in labor or 36 weeks in my case I’ll be 36 weeks on Monday. I’m still trying to work. I’m working because I don’t have a husband to help support me and my kids. I have a baby daddy who lives off me and doesn’t appreciate anything that I do. I keep him around for my daughters sake and now my sons but he refuses to let me co parent with him staying at his moms. I live in a 3 bedroom house yes my name is on the lease I have my own car yes I have a decent job as a caregiver for seniors I love my daughter and my son but at the same time what about me?i know I can’t waist my thoughts on what if because I wouldn’t trade them for the world but that night that awful night I was so exhausted he took my car and stayed out I took care of my daughter while waking up and going to the bathroom back and fourth and I just cried because I didn’t wanna be a mom at that point and it wasn’t because he left me with my daughter it was because I do every single thing from getting up with her when she cried taking her to the drs. Feeding her changing her poop diapers doing her hair giving her a bath providing a roof over her head keeping a smile on her face wiping away her tears I pay the bills I pay the $850 rent I pay the phone bills I pay the car insurance like do I ever get to be free? And I don’t I know that because I have two people now counting on me to be the best I can and that pressure is a lot. Not only that but I have people watching my every move and cps is a phone call away 😰 I’m just so tired of the pressure and like I said I wouldn’t trade my kids for the world I’m just completely and utterly exhausted. I don’t know I’m just venting.
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@jadata05, yes you’re right that’s true. And I actually requested to work graveyard when I go back so they can be with me during the day and I won’t need him anymore.
It happened to my mom and people are watching me and will call them on me and I fear his mom would take her She cares nothing about my son but my daughter is like her pride and joy. And I’m trying to let go I guess the first step is acceptance of what will never be. It’s just so hard for me.
@mhbbb2, I guess it’s hard for me because I’ve been around him so long 😥
Kick that deadbeat out. You're already wearing the skirt and the pants what do you need him for? He can be a father without being a mooch.
@gabby.pineda, words of encouragement always help. Very appreciated 😊
@miasmama0517 sometimes we just need reminders 😊 You're doing great by the way! I wish all women were as strong as you!
@gabby.pineda, exactly what I’m trying to do move forward and I feel bad for ever having that thought in my mind about not wanting to be a mom because I love my daughter she gives me life even when I’m exhausted! I just gotta remember why I’m doing it. Thank you 🙏🏽
@bellyfullofbaby, thank you I appreciate that. I don’t know it’s been 3 years and I’m still treated the way I am. And no help on his end. I don’t know what else to do.
Just keep positive! You can do this! Your kids one day will look at you and see a strong woman! They'll be so proud of you and be so grateful to call you their mom! Never give up even when times get hard, you just have to push forward.
First of all I’m so sorry, any man that makes you feel this way isn’t worth it. If he doesn’t make you feel like you can talk to him and you can’t reason with him, you know make him see that he takes you for granted then he will always treat you like this. I’ve seen it happen with my parents and my mom left m dad after 3 kids and his next wife my stepmom MAKES him help with their kid makes him take the kid EVERYWHERE not even giving him a choice. Some men don’t learn how good they got it until it’s gone. I hope your honey realizes that he’s fucked up before it’s too late.
@jadata05, thank you I honestly appreciate that and I will ! I need friends I don’t have any as it is 😂 I guess I’m a loner