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Natalie Buelvas

my DH doesn't want to see my family

my DH doesn't want to see my family


So ladies, my aunt has a Christmas party every year on Christmas eve. We play games, eat great food... It's a lot of fun. My DH has been before.

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Комментарии

deleted-user

deleted-user

Honestly, unless he was willing to give me a valid excuse besides "I just don't want to" is let him know it's important to me and that I'd be going. He can decide what to do with his night

deleted-user

deleted-user

I agree that you shouldn't miss just because he doesn't want to go, and honestly I think that's selfish of him ?.

If it were me i would kindly tell him that I don't want him sitting home alone on Christmas Eve but that I am going because it's important to me.

deleted-user

deleted-user

If it were me, I'd go with or without him. If he wants to be alone, well, thats his problem.

nrj28

Natalie Buelvas

I think it's selfish too! Especially when I can barely tolerate his family but I suck it up for his sake.


I don't know why he's being such a boob. There's one family member that hates him, but he won't even be there, he's across the country right now.

deleted-user

deleted-user

If there's no drama between your dh and your family then he should suck it up and go. It's 1 day a year! I wouldn't miss my family party because SO "doesn't feel like going".

deleted-user

deleted-user

He has a invite so if he don't want to go that's up to him I wouldn't miss something I enjoyed so much with my family. Especially if he's not even going to tell you why. It's up to him either come or spend Xmas eve alone xx

deleted-user

deleted-user

He's obviously not telling you something- maybe it's another conflict with family that you're not aware of? I don't want to go so far as defending him, but perhaps he doesn't want to share something that might hurt you?


Either way, I'd calmly explain that sometimes we have family obligations that we have to fulfill even if our emotions tell us to ball up our fists and not budge. And for lack of a better explanation to you, you'll be happily fulfilling the obligation. And will miss him, but won't force him to spend it with family instead of alone.

deleted-user

deleted-user

I would go anyways and maybe send him to his families house so he's not alone.

nrj28

Natalie Buelvas

Carrimel that's what I'm thinking - there's something there that makes him not want to go. I know he and my mom don't get along, but she has been kind to him the last few times they saw each other.

deleted-user

deleted-user

You said one family member hates him and your mother and him don't get along but the past FEW times she has been kind? Before she wasn't? I understand both sides. I wouldn't want to spend my Christmas Eve with people who don't like me. I guess it depends on why they don't like him too. If he's done everything right then that's unfair. Either way I hope you all come to some sort of agreement.

deleted-user

deleted-user

So does the same thing and his reason is "I don't really know them" :/ so irritating.

deleted-user

deleted-user

I think k he should suck it up and go.. I mean does his family have something going on too? That's the only reason i could see him being sad and not wanting to go to yours

I suck it up and go to df dad's for Christmas.. And his step sisters are pretty obvious that they do not like me. I usually get a drink and sit in the corner and observe..

deleted-user

deleted-user

if df said that to me with a stupid reason like that i would go without him in a heartbeat. ✌ and tell him i wont be attending any of his family events because 'i just dont want to go.' ?

deleted-user

deleted-user

I would try and talk with him one more time and explain to him that you would really like for him to go or to at least explain why. If at that point he still chooses not to go, then go without him and enjoy yourself.

deleted-user

deleted-user

I'd force my husband to go. That being said, you may not have the same type of relationship that we have. You definitely need to go, but tell him how you feel. Don't let him ruin your night.

deleted-user

deleted-user

He must feel uncomfortable if one family member hates him and your mom doesn't really get along with him.


I would try and speak to him to get to the bottom of it.

deleted-user

deleted-user

I agree one hundred percent with what newly said. That's not a real excuse. He can deal with being alone if he doesn't want to go. He can't expect you to not go because he "just doesn't want to." Men are such a pain in the arse ?

deleted-user

deleted-user

He definitely needs to suck it up and go. This is what adults do when they are married. If he didn't want to do this sort of stuff he should've stayed single. And that's exactly what I would say to him.

deleted-user

deleted-user

I would find out what is really bothering him. I would be very upset if my husband tried to "force" me to go to something that made me uncomfortable. Why does your family not like him?

deleted-user

deleted-user

Did you guys talk it out OP?

nrj28

Natalie Buelvas

Oh yeah we did! He told me he was just feeling really anxious because my family is very "fake." They act friendly but I guess make little nasty comments that really hurt his feelings. I asked him if he was going to hate them forever and he said no, but he was going to take it slow. That works for me.


So he went to his sisters house for dinner and played video games with his niece, and I went to my party. And we both had a ton of fun!

deleted-user

deleted-user

I'd tell him he skipped out turkey day so you need to tough it out and go. Plain and simple

Still haven't told DH...

Still haven't told DH... ...that we're expecting! ? Tonight we were at dinner with my brother and SIL and they just had a baby 4 weeks ago. She said something about babies and DH replies, with such an attitude, "uh no! Never again, we are done!"