Almost lost my s*** on this rude lady...
My son threw a horrid tantrum at Target; it started in the bathroom. He was yelling and hitting me, screaming he had to potty even though he had literally just gone. After 10 minutes of him hitting me, screaming, kicking, and rolling on the floor, I yanked his pants up and had to get our quick trip done. He was kicking me and pulling my hair, so I just held onto him and whispered and tried to calm him. He's never done this before. It took 5 minutes to wrestle him into the cart, while he's screaming and kicking and hitting still. I finally got him in the seat and buckled when this older lady approached us and started talking to my son. "You shouldn't act like that, cuz Santa..." I immediately cut her off and said "please do not talk to him," and started to move away. She started right back with "Santa doesn't like..." At this point, I lost it. I yelled at her "stop talking!!!" and walked off with my son.
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@planet, especially a dirty public bathroom. It was gross. He got a loooong soapy bath when we got home.
Well to each it's own. But my child did the same when she was 3 at a target. Full blown tantrum. Picked her up to her to the car went home still crying got home spanked her bottom ONCE got to her level told her what she did wrong. When she would start at target told her let's go home she knew and she would stop. Never again did she do that to me again. Get 9 yrs old I have now.
I absolutely do not feel bad for yelling at that lady. She butted in and wouldn't leave me alone after I tried to be polite and walk away. All you that say 'respect your elders' that is your personal belief. As I stated, respect and contempt are both EARNED.
Age does not entitle you respect.
Age does not negate the fact that I asked her to stop and she ignored, therefore disrespected, me.
Since this is going on so long now, I'm just going to leave a blanket statement. I am my son's mother. I parent him. I didn't ask anyone for advice on how to handle him because (again) he never did that before and has been his normal, cheerful, sweet self since. All kids have a terrible moment at some point and he had his. It's over now.
A tantrum is just a child's way of telling you that he needs something but doesn't know how to express it. That lady should not have walked up to your son using scare tactics about santa. Nobody should use santa as a scare tactic. It doesn't teach anything other than fear! That aside, my son is out of control somtimes, but that's not his fault, it's mine. I needed to learn how to recognize the signs of him being overwhelmed, I needed to learn how to channel in on his feelings before we got to full meltdown stage. Since we've mastered gentle parenting techniques, tantrums rarely ever happen anymore. Good luck on your parenting journey!
It's not always that children will learn to hit you back. But they will learn that it's ok to use force and intimidation to get their way. Just like we learned it from our parents. Spanking is very much a learned pattern of behavior. There are so many better ways to get the desired results from our children, and easier access to learn what those techniques are. We don't have to rely on what "worked" for our parents because we have so many more options now. Positive parenting and Love and Logic are really good alternatives if anyone is interested.
Tantrums suck, but they happen. However, hitting and kicking is unacceptable. My daughter threw a first time fit in the store a couple of months ago. It lasted for about 10 minutes. I wish someone had walked up to show me sympathy then, and help try to calm her. Here's why...sometimes kids won't react to a parent or relative, but for a stranger, they sometimes stop and listen. If only for the time being. For you to yell at that lady was completely rude. You were upset at your son and because you couldn't yell and scream at him, you did it to her. That's sad. Especially an older lady. Has 'respect your elders' gone out the window? I'm surprised you shared this story because most people would be so ashamed of themselves, that they would take something like that to their grave. You obviously didn't care then, and don't care now. And it's ironic that you would throw a fit in front of your son who's also throwing a fit, which is probably where he got it in the first place. Not the best example. We've all been frustrated with our kids in public, but jeez. What you did was wrong. Not just for the ladies sake, but your son's as well. That's just my opinion though.
Why is everyone telling her how to discipline her child like y'all are mothers of the year? Also calling someone's child a brat is wrong in my eyes. Everyone has different parenting styles, so how I could anyone tell her how she handles HER child, and that you would have did this or that. Good for you.
I'm pretty sure I would react the exact same way. That lady over stepped her boundaries. She had no idea what your personal beliefs are. Plus for me her just putting her two sense in and talking to my child would Piss me off cuz I will be teaching stranger danger and do not want my child taking to any person on the street or vise versa. If you don't know me, if were not in harms way don't butt in especially directly towards my child.
@pp. Tantrums are normal in toddlers. It aids in healthy development. Mom shouldn't be expected to stop her errands just because her toddler is having a tantrum. They happen. Comments like yours is the reason a lot of mom's feel embarrassed or the need to leave. So people like you don't stare and make comments. My son is almost two. He throws tantrums. I continue on and I dare anyone to say something.
At three years old a child is practically still a baby. Most kids this age will throw tantrums at some point. I have been lucky so far with my boys that it hasn't happened in public-yet. My oldest is almost 5 and has autism. When we go shopping he still sits in the cart because he will wander off. He does not talk yet either but makes a lot of verbal noises. Some old b**** had the nerve to call him a bratty baby because he was babbling and sitting in the cart. You best believe I told that hag to f*** off. I don't care how old you are unless you see a child being abused mind your own business.
No, he was calm. He doesn't walk over me. Read the comments, it's all been said about 25 times over. HE'S NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. Seriously read the post and comments if you're going to pop in after a whole day. Smh.
Exactly! There is no one right way. While his behavior was way out of line and not normal for him at all, my son did calm down with me talking to him quietly. If I had been able to safely get him outside I would have, but it was safest to put him into the cart where he couldn't fling himself around.
I'm sorry but the whole "you hit your kid, they'll hit you" thing is wrong. I've smacked my four year olds butt a few times and not once has she raised a hand to me. And when he threw tantrums (which was seldom an stopped immediately) she never once hit or kicked me.
Talking softly to her doesn't work. But timeouts do. I hate smacking her butt so I look for other forms of discipline that work. If she ever kicked me, hit me, or pulled my hair talking softly would NOT be an option.
All parents are different and this is how OP wanted to handle the situation. I take no sides. Just reading the comments and seeing some baffling responses. Crazy to think that there is more than one parenting style and there's no right one for all kids. (Partial sarcasm).
No idea lillas, he's never done it before. He hasn't told me why, but at 3, he's not always articulate. So far today, he has been his super sweet and lovey self.
I agree shootingstar. I'm not going to tell someone how to discipline their kid, but I won't sit back while they tell me I'm wrong and my son needs to be spanked. My husband would be so mad if I spanked our son in anger. According to him, if I had spanked him yesterday in that moment, I've taught him nothing and hit my child out of anger. It is definitely harder and takes longer to discipline children through words and logic as opposed to spanking and yelling all the time.
So a little side convo to give zombie a break from her kid called names.
I am not against spanking. I personally do not spank because I've never felt a situation warranted it but I was spanked as a child and think it was a useful discipline tool for my parents. It might have been the only thing to work.
My skin crawls and my stomach seriously turns when people say "bust his ass" or "beat her ass" It sounds disgusting to me. Like a whole other level than spanking.
To me that is just an odd statement to make. Sorry had to get that off my chest as it has been said more then a few timea around here.
Back to the regular scheduled programming.
Cecelo, my story never changed. I did politely ask her to stop talking to my son first, then not politely when she followed as I walked away.
B.law, agree with everything g you said (except I didn't swear at anyone at any point)
Grneyed, my son is not a monster. He had ONE TANTRUM that was out of control. I don't hit kids, period. Get some education on child development and behavior before you insult my kid.
Sounds like I have way more self control than all these moms who say they 'whoop' 'spank' and 'beat the ass' of their kids. The same people scolding ME for getting pissed at the lady say they would have gone off on me if they were her. So can someone please enlighten me on the difference here? I didn't approach her, she approached me and wouldn't back off even when I walked away.
Wow a stranger just did this thing to me. I'm on the bus stop with my son, he had chips I had given him. I went to pick him up because the bus was coming so I took the chips so he wouldn't drop them. He started having a fit in my arms. I told him to be quiet and have some patience I'm giving them back. He calmed down. She came over and said now you have to come with me. You have to be good don't you like toys. It's almost toy time. I just let him look at her with the strange look and continued to talk to my son. She should have minded her business too but she meant no harm. These older ppl just like babies that's all.
Maybe it's just me but I could never be rude to anyone, regardless of who it is, if I know their intention is to help. Even if I don't agree with their strategy. It's not that difficult to just walk away.
Plus stories like this one always changes as OP gets called out. First it was "yelled at her", then it changed to I told her "politely", or the old lady said this to my son, then all of a sudden the old lady was scolding her son. The inconsistency drives me crazy.
Wow this is still going on! Who knew!? I'm pregnant with my first so I can't really add much. However I EFFIN hate it when people try to teach me how to handle my dog at a park or something. Like ummm I didn't know you and my dog were friends and you knew everything about them. I can imagine how OP feels. I'm also not mean to old people though- even the most annoying ones.
MissE10, I said multiple times he's never done this before. Can you read?
Mia, how have I acted high or mighty? I stated that we don't hit in my family, and why. Never once did I say someone else shouldn't, that's their family to deal with.
It's funny how many people keep saying I need to spank or hit him to teach him respect. Respect and contempt are both earned. I can deal with my son without violence. That's how I was raised, because both my parents and husband were hit growing up and all have discouraged it as a punishment.
Thanks yaya and the others who have some education on child development and behavior. Not all children are the same and I think one episode of this behavior does not make my son a monster or a future killer. Since I have to type this out yet again, MY SON HAS NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. ITS NOT HIS NORMAL BEHAVIOR. IF HE DID IT AGAIN, I STILL WON'T SPANK HIM.
I feel like this situation continues to get exaggerated.
In my mind, this whole exchange lasted maybe...53 seconds? Feel free to correct me if I am wrong.
I feel like some people are thinking this old lady chased OP to aisle 2 and back around to aisle 3, right through frozen foods and straight to the dollar bin area. Not to mention, all that while wagging her finger and berating the little boy.
I feel like it's getting a little over the top.
Also, I doubt OPs son will be on Americas most wanted by 4th grade because he threw a fit at a target once when he was 3. Lol
The lady followed her after she asked her not to talk to her son. She wasn't the one in the wrong. Could she have overreacted? Maybe, but the lady should have left her alone. And I hate all these my kids never had tantrums like that and he's old enough to know better comments. Guess what? I have a 7yr old, 6yr old, 3yr old, 1yr old and a 1 month old. My 6yr old is the worst behaved out of all of my kids. Completely defies me, is stubborn as hell, refuses to do anything I ask. He's the only one out of all my kids that acts the way he does. I do spank, but it doesn't phase him in the least. I have to hold him in the corner. I had to climb under the produce table at the store to get him out while 37 weeks pregnant since he was in trouble and didn't want to come out. He's been a handful since he hit 3. I know my child doesn't act like most 6yr olds, but it has nothing to do with my parenting. It has everything to do with the way my child is. Point being just because you think he should know better and act that way and yours don't doesn't mean it's her parenting. It also doesn't mean he does know better. Like other pp's have stated 3yr olds don't have impulse control or coping mechanisms so tantrums happen. Sometimes hitting happens during tantrums too. It's not ok, but doesn't mean it's learned either. It's not "normal", but it's still common. I should also add none of my kids have ever hit me. So me saying it can be a part of a tantrum does not mean my kids beat me as a pp stated.
All these "parents" saying hitting at 3 is apart of a normal tantrum I wonder how many times a day their kids beat on them ? because that is in their opinion "normal"
I highly doubt that poor lady was scolding your child when she said a total of less than 6 words before you cutting her off.
I wish my child would even think about raising a finger to me ?
That's the problem with most kids today they're to damn disrespectful and all the parents are doing is making excuses for it instead of taking the time out to rectify the problem.
Oh believe me, I never have and I never would have acted that way towards someone who was just trying to help. Unless I missed something, there was absolutely no malicious intent. Now she was following her? Calm down.
People are so quick to get so defensive like everyone is out to get them. I'm sure she meant no harm.
I am so torn on this post.
Op you totally changed your story on how you reacted from the original description when reading through your comments.
A child hitting and pulling hair is NOT normal. Or a normal tantrum. If your kid started yelling and flung himself to the floor, sure, I would agree that's normal. Abusing you is not. I understand he's 3. It's still not normal behaviour, especially if your home is as calm as you are trying so hard to prove.
I also would never spank a child. I don't disagree with spanking, but it's not right for my family.
Why did you even give him the chance to stay at that store??? You should have taken him to your car, sat until he calmed and took his butt home. You in NO way disciplined your child.
Talking to him after and making sure he understands it was wrong is great, but you haven't shown him the consequence of acting that way at all. All that you've done is shown him he can act that way, apologize and then not be in trouble anymore. Ridiculous.
The lady should not have stepped in, but I think you dealt with it horrible. A more positive approach (since you're all about positive parenting and teaching your child by example!!!!!) would have been to say "thanks for trying to help, but I don't want help right now. Please leave us alone". Don't just say "don't talk to him".
You were rude, set a bad example and now people are telling you that you're wrong so you're upset. Get over it. You're an adult and should have acted like one. I still can't believe you continued shopping with your child after he pulled your hair and hit you. Ridiculous. The last scolding your child should have been the least of your worries!
I'm going to do this in bold so it stands out.
A THREE YEAR OLD DOES NOT HAVE IMPULSE CONTROL.
It doesn't matter what they've been taught or that you think "they should know better". It all goes out the window then their brain switches over into tantrum mode. Usually the child is tired, hungry, overstimulated, stressed, frustrated, or feeling a lack of control. Even adults don't handle those emotions well. A child has very little recourse to have his voice "heard". He cannot tell you, "Mommy, I'm feeling tired and all these lights and activity in the store is stressing me out. May I please have a few minutes to compose myself". That never happens. Usually we don't even see it coming until it's too late. Please stop blaming the child when it is usually the adult that has pushed them beyond what they can reasonably handle. I am just as guilty of it as everyone else, so this is not an "I'm the perfect mom" post. Understanding child brain development is paramount to raising children with compassion, structure, and reasonable expectations. It's a learning process for parents as much as it is for children.
Op, I'm sorry this happened. There is an appropriate way to offer assistance to a parent without overstepping. This lady failed miserably. I'm glad your son was able to regain control. It's scary for them, too. There's a great book called "Sometimes I'm Bombaloo". It might be a little advanced right now for a younger 3, but it is a wonderful way to help children understand that they are not alone in their feelings. I can look up the author if you'd like.
If my child was throwing a violent tantrum in public, one which included him screaming, pulling my hair and hitting me, my only concern would be marching his butt back to the car! No way would I be paying any attention to anyone else. If my child lost his s*** like this, my focus would be on him. Not comments from strangers and I sure as heck would not finish my shopping trip.
I think the lady was just trying to help. Being upset as you were I can see why you overreacted. A 3 year old should know the difference from right and wrong if they have been taught. You are the parent not him! He should never be hitting and you have to teach him that. I teach 3 year olds(12 in my class) and they know better than to act that way with me. We walk in straight lines and they all have been taught please and thank you. Maybe it's a southern thing but if you have a child acting like that in a store you should be considerate of others and leave. I have seen tons of mothers leave their buggies because their child was acting out. Personally I would have been embarrassed if my child acted that way.
Best luck honey,
BA.Ed, MA.Ed,
Zombie, I have read your responses and I know you say you were being polite at first but when I read your original post that's not how to comes off to me.
I am not saying that what this lady did was right but it must have been a "had to be there" moment because without hearing the tone of her voice it seems like a well meaning lady trying to help out a stressed out momma. The "please don't talk to him" seems slightly rude given the situation. I mean the lady said a total of like 8 words. How horrible could she have been to your child?
I think it's a stretch the say she scolded him based off of the original post. Now if she was like all these ladies yelling "beat his butt" or saying he needed his butt spanked that would be scolding or trying to discipline.
Not trying to attack you or be rude, just explaining my response and possibly why others responded the way they have.
I wonder how many of you if you were in OP's shoes and in the exact situation, would react the same? Would you react kindly to someone that you already to stop but they followed you and continued to bother you? How would you react if a complete stranger ( older or not) scolded your child?
.........Al-righty then......
OP is a mother like most of us here. Everyone has their own ways of parenting their children. We have our good days and our bad days just like our children do.
Now I'm baking a chocolate cake if anyone wants some. Bring your own beverage of choice.
Kids don't just do that . You're making an excuse for your kid and he'll continue to take advantage of that. I have a 3, 5 and 7 year old and none have ever done that especially in public. I personally think she wasn't trying to really be a b**** , but I wasn't there. It does sound like she was just trying to help you out. You're saying you don't have Santa in your house like she knew that? I think you were already heated having your hands full with a child who's trying to get his own way , and you took it out on the wrong person.
Are you serious?? ^^^
That post made me angry.
She said he did it one time. Calm down ladies. No need to refer to frying bacon here. :p.
Plenty of people have grown up without physical discipline and they are fine. I have three sisters and none of us were hit and we are fine.
All you ladies mean to say that your child never acts up and always listens to you? No child is perfect and they all have their moments. Even the most well disciplined child will act up once. He just turned 3 and is still learning.
*just thought I would throw it out there* ?
Nope, I would have done the same thing. I am the parent not some stranger and to the previous posts saying how to deal with the tantrum every child is different. My dd is 3 and n
When she is in it if I get down to her level I will get hit or punched in the face. She is very strong willed and so etimes I just need to let her get it out. Good luck with your kiddo, sounds like we are in the same boat.
He did many things in the bathroom, but what i really wanna know is why the hell is you letting A CHILD pull your hair, hit you, ect? Then you praise him by whispering in his ear. You was kinda rude to the lady , thats not her fault you getting aggravated that your 3 year old is throwing a tantrum. I have a 3 year old girl myself, && umm let me tell she dont even throw tantrums. B/c she knows mama dont play. But then again, that doesnt apply to some moms!!!
Can half the responders not see or read that he's never done this before???
I tried to be polite to this lady, but she followed me and her scolding him was not helping anything. I WAS handling him. She did not have a right to follow us after I politely asked her to stop. I have not once said I behaved well too, I said I was wrong several times. But I was pushed to my limit and I'm not going to take it out on a little boy who was upset and acting out in a way he never has before. I will tell the rude lady following us to stop. She was definitely old enough to know better and listen. Or maybe I should have 'whooped her ass' for not listening to me, huh??? No, because hitting at any age is wrong!
How wonderful that your child hasn't behaved like that. I want to fill you in on a little secret - Not all children respond and behave the same way. Not all children are able to control the response when they experience emotions. This is because the bridge has not yet formed between emotions and regulating them.
Also - she shouldn't have made that comment. Because it only escalades the situation. I would have been frustrated too if a lady pulled that.
The people who don't have children that have these type of temper responses have zero clue how unmanageable they are in the moment. You can't reason. You can't spank - it only makes it worse.
Put yourself in her shoes - A fellow mother has never seen this behavior and is trying to soothe and stop it with the tactics that have worked before. She doesn't want to drag a screaming toddler in front of people - why? Exactly because of these responses. Because a 3 year old knows better. How does this 3 year old know better with his first frustrated outburst? The management has not been learned yet.
Ok, to all the people telling me to 'whoop his ass,' that's not how we parent. That will never happen. That is doing the same thing we are teaching him nit to. And AGAIN- he's never done that before, so it's not like he's 'running me.' We do not hit, especially out of anger. There are many other ways to discipline children, and he literally turned 3 less than a month ago. He's normally the kid saying thank you to the cashier, asking for high fives, hugging the receptionist at his dentist office, holding my mom's face and saying she's his lovey love, begging to go see my dad, or pouncing on his daddy after he gets home from work and smothering him in kisses.
I haven't insulted anyone's parenting or called any names. I've been called a b**** and both my son and I have been called a brat. Still didn't insult anyone back or use profanity. So clearly I'm not the rudest person here, I'm the stressed out mom who was taking care of her clearly upset kid. I didn't ignore him or threaten him with violence.
I agree w the way Caldwellbride put it.
Here's the truth, op: you live in a world w other people. Once you leave your house, you'll have to encounter them. Sometimes they will do exactly what you want and sometimes they won't. Your son is watching you, ALWAYS. Model the behavior for him that you want him to have.
Whether this person was trying to help or not, the appropriate response was to tell her no thank you, politely and walk away. By yelling, being rude and showing your anger (as your post initially stated) you basically just showed YOUR temper tantrum to your son.
He's melting down bc whatever it was that he was trying to communicate to you, wasn't getting through to you. You melted down at this lady bc what you were trying to communicate to her didn't get through to her.
None of us are perfect, we've all mishandled situations. You mishandled this one. For whatever reason, your methods of calming and disciplining your son didn't work this time. (While tantrums happen, hitting, hair pulling and the prolonged tantrum are not typical of all children. I have an 3 1/2 year old and almost 2 yr old, never once have either of them hit anyone. While it's not uncommon, if this is happening more than occasionally, maybe reassess your methods of dealing w it.)
You going off on a stranger in a store (who I believe was making a misguided attempt to help you) was also inappropriate. You lost it. Acknowledge it to yourself and figure out what you need to do in the future to stay composed in these situations (bc they will happen again.)
We all have bad days, I hope you have a better day today.
When I read this I didn't think of it as scolding or trying to discipline him. Maybe the word "scolded" is what is causing the confusion here. She might have thought you were in a tough spot and she could help with a distraction.
The "please don't talk to him" thing seems like a weird thing to say to someone. If you don't do Santa then maybe say that or just quickly say that your son is having a bad day and you can't stop the cart.
I think that you both were a bit in the wrong. I have been around a frazzled mom at the store and while I haven't physically stepped in, I have tried to smile at the child or wave just to distract them.
The intentions of this old lady sound good and that would have been enough for me to be kind in return.
The lady should have left it alone, but she was probably trying to distract you kid. You just showed your son it's cool to take out anger on strangers by first telling someone to "quit talking" which is exceptionally rude then by yelling at them. If you're going to try and teach your kids to be gentle you should practice it as well.
Wow all these people saying she needs to spank her son need to just stop. You raise your kids how you want to and she can raise hers how she wants to. Also just because her son hits does not mean he learned it from her. My son is 19 months and would get frustrated and try and hit and we have never laid a hand on him. Op I would have told that lady off too, it's none of her buisness and not her kid. BTW not everyone raises there kids to believe in Santa so that could have been offensive too.
Sometimes im appreciative of a stranger saying something helpful if my two are acting up in public. Sometimes they wnt listen to me, but they shut up when a stranger says something (in a nice way, like 'oh what's the matter today?'). It makes them stop and stare at them and forget what they where carrying on about. Like 'who is this talking to me'... do i dicipline, hell yes but kids will still be kids.
Now ... Let's hear it from the old lady's point of view ?
I know where your coming from I'm amazed how many people are calling you rude... You were at your braking point and just wanted to get the hell out of there. I have had so many strangers bud in my life... Ugh as for him being 3 and should know better by now... All kids develop differently ...3 is not far from the terrible twos
you know what's interesting? if the tables were turned, and op was posting about how she told someone's kid off for yelling, y'all would rip her to shreds.
whenever there's a post on here complaining about people's kids having public meltdowns, every single person is telling them to mind their business and step off.
so why, when this old lady was completely out of line trying multiple times to scold her child, is everyone saying "oh the sweet old woman sounds like she was just trying to help. you're so mean". reading op's responses, it's obvious this old bag wasn't trying to help. she was being rude as f*** . if that were me I would have reacted the exact same way. sounds like everyone's just jumping on the bb bandwagon... surprise surprise.
He going to be one of them kids , that's sad but true you need to let him know who run s*** . You need to beat his ass , time outs don't work in 2 years he's gonna take you as a joke mark my words . I was like that & I got away with everything my mom was more like a friend then a parent & that's how your going to be , don't get offended because everything people are saying is true , you was rude to someone trying to help you because she knew you had to be embarrassed & you end up embarrassing her being rude , hmmm .. I hope he does run you when he get older ?
@mama, Excuse me, I never told her or anyone to shut up. Do not insult me, I haven't called anyone names here. I posted many times I disciplined him and he's never done this before. Please read before attacking me, you yourself said you would "go off" if you thought someone was rude, so I don't see how I did anything you wouldn't?
3 yrs old is quite typical of tantrums, pp. They don't have much impulse control or ability to tell right from wrong. I never treated it like he doesn't know better. He's never done it before?
Sounds to me.like she was just trying to help and you was being a real itch yeah kids throw tantrums but your son going run all over you lady i be damn if i let my child act a fool pulling my hair at three you should be setting some rules im sure hes able to talk by now so why is he acting likes hes one and dont understand how to behave. You need to check yourself you sound rude and even though that lady brought up santa she didnt know you dont do Christmas! You could of said i dont need the help please leave me alone not shut up ! I would of told your rude ass off !
I asked her not to talk to him and she didn't stop, she followed us and continued to scold him. To me, that's rude.
@mstracy, she wasn't nice or offering help. She approached us and scolded him. How is it nice or helpful in any way?
I don't know why you bother to defend yourself on here. Lol. You did what you thought was right. He is your son and you raise him how you want. You not hitting your child will not make him lash out more. He is only 3 and still has lots of growing up to do. Not all kids are the same. What works for one, won't work for the other one.
*if anyone is going to comment on me replying again,. I was sick all day and cannot sleep. My 8 month old is sleeping in his crib and he is sick as well. I like to watch him.*
??
@shush, I'm not excusing or downplaying his behavior at all. In case you didn't read my 20-something responses, he doesn't normally act like this.
He has plenty of discipline. According to my mom, I rarely threw tantrums, even being the younger sibling. My sister still throws tantrums at 32, but at least she doesn't hit or break stuff I guess...
Discipline is more than spanking. We use verbal discipline, time outs, sitting outside on the cement, taking away coveted items, and redirection. He never had a biting phase, so this is quite new to me.
You're worried about some old lady using Santa then your three year old beating your ass in the bathroom ??? I'm sorry that couldn't be me never will I let my child put their hands on me when they should know better ? I hope you're not gonna be that parent that lets their kids beat on you and wanna blame it on them being teenagers....Stop it now!!!! He's actually at that age where he picks up on stuff he sees and you should correct that instead of focusing all your attention on a lady trying to help you. I hope your son doesn't pick up on you going off on people and catching attitudes for trying to make light out of a situation because he will be doing it to you sooner or later!
@cici, I was never spanked and never hit my parents or others. Neither has my sister. So, your theory is just a theory.
@genty, I have asked many times how he behaves at daycare, and the lady who runs it (only her, it's in home) has said he's very well behaved, especially with the younger kids, and has only had time out twice in over a year, though I can't remember what it was for. My husband recently started a new, demanding job that has him gone a lot more lately, and he just had his monthly drill weekend, I don't know if daddy being gone more is the source, since he doesn't act like this normally. My dad watches him once a week sometimes, and tells me how sweet he is, that they spent the day snuggling and napped together, that he hugs him all the time, etc. I am pregnant, but he seems excited about it. Asks to kiss baby sister in my tummy, asks if baby sister is awake, tells me he's a big brother. I can't pinpoint a definite cause, but I'm not ignoring this at all.
@momo, I have stated multiple times we don't believe in spanking. It's a dead horse now.
@mama, I stated multiple times I did walk away and she followed me.
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Transgender children
So I just learned that in my kids school district (my kids aren't in school yet my oldest will be starting kindergarten next September) there are twin boys who identify as girls. They are 5 years old. What's your opinions on this matter given they are 5!!! I don't believe that at that age they really understand the whole thing. So the entire school had to take a course on how to handle transgender children. For example they can't say girls go this or boys do that. What are...
Science!
My friend posted this on facebook last night and said her kids were asleep within minutes. It's a song that scientists created to help people fall asleep. I was skeptical but I thought what the hay, I'll try it out. I didn't bank on Dh falling asleep, but both him and lo were asleep by minute 2. And lo slept six straight hours. ?
Starting TWW. Anyone else?
I had a stillborn daughter at 38 weeks this passed Nov. This is my second month ttc. (Last month we only tried for like two weeks though). My last and only pregnancy, I got pregnant the first month of ttc so I hope it's quick this time again.
Trigger. Lost baby
Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?
This sounds like a crazy stressful situation. My oldest just turned 3 a few days ago and has SPD so we have no shortage of tantrums. I am a recent positive parenting convert (thank you yaya!) and it can be super hard at times. I think it was just a bad day for everyone! I don't think the old lady was being mean on purpose but after you told her to stop, she should have. I understand that he has never done this before. When my son has a tantrum at the store, going back to the car to let him calm down works well for him.