(Thread Closed) Nighttime feedings

I think it will be great for him to get up honestly just so he can connect with baby in that way and I think it will be good for your relationship! Team work makes the dream work ??

We have 2 older children I worked more at that time my so and I both would wake up ( he barely worked ) and we would spilt the chores 75% me 25% him lol .

Fast forward 11 years later we had our LO 9 months ago and now he works and this is my first time being a sahm . I don't expect him to do anything around the house or helping with the kids . I look at he's been at work all day so my new job is caring for the kids and home . Luckily in 13 years my SO has grown up a lot and is always offering or trying to help me . But to me I do feel like if you SO has a demanding job and they need a good nights rest and have to be to work early then they shouldn't be woken up at night. Over the weekend which is his days off I do expect him to help atleast one night so I can catch up on sleep .

My dh loved the night feedings. Yes he worked and went to school but I also went to school and had to find time to pump and some time to sleep. We worked as a team to figure out what was best for us. He would always, without me asking, get up, turn off the baby monitor and go feed or spend time with ds so I could keep sleeping for a few hours before I had to pump again. He was and still is an amazing partner and dad.

I know that what we did wouldn't work for everyone but it's what worked for us. You guys just need to figure out the best dynamic for you and ignore everyone else. It's not their baby or relationship so they maybe they should mind their own.

What the hell does it have to do with anyone else how you two parent and look after your baby tell them to mind their own damn business! I hate when people think their opinion should count when the relationship is between TWO people not 3 or 4. You do what works for you & your hubby.

I never expected my husband to help with night feedings. Yes I EBF but if I didn't, I wouldn't of asked him. He wakes up early, I stay home. Actually, my son was bottle fed after 5 months and I don't remember him ever getting up to feed him.

If he is wanting to help and doesn't mind. By all means let him help! It's his child too. And other people just need to keep the baby for one night and they'd be appreciating the help too! It's just once some people don't have newborn babies, they seem to forget how tiring it can be and how hands on you have to be, and how much sleep you really don't get. That will wear you down after awhile. Their opinion doesn't mean a single thing. If he wants to help, let him have at it!:)

The only people whose opinions matter on this are your's and your husband's. Though I will say I think it's great that he's willing and able to help.

I never expected df to get up for night feeds..although it would have been nice on his days off. ?

I don't expect my husband to get up... But I don't mind if he does... I'm a sahm I have 3 kids already it is very tiring... And anyone who doesn't think so hasn't done it ....

You do what's best for your family! That's all you can do... My husband wouldn't mind getting up either....

I don't see anything wrong with your husband helping. It sounds to me like everyone else expressing their opinions need to mind their own damn business. I'm breastfeeding but last night I was tired so guess what? My HUSBAND grabbed some pumped breast milk and fed, changed, and kept our newborn for a while so I could rest. So what if your a SAHM. You guys do what works best for you and your household. If hubby doesn't mind helping that than that's great. You deserve to get a little rest as well.

We also formula feed.

My BF gets up with our baby. It's the only time he gets to spend with him. He says it's his favorite time of the day. His mom and grandma are mad that I "make him get up after working all day." But eh it's what he wants.

The only reason I wake SO up is to change a diaper. I personally feel feeding should be solely a moms job. Men don't lactate for a reason lol. I don't think anyone should feed any except mom. That's just my belief. It's the bottle/formula normalizing culture that things otherwise.

What ever works best you two. Others shouldn't comment on what you both agreed.

My SO works full time and I will be a SAHM when little man gets here in a few weeks, he had already said that he would be up with him so I can sleep but he has insomnia and never sleeps well and like pp he is a light sleeper so he would get up anyway. I told him that I want to only give him breast for the first 6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion and he said he would figure out some other way to help then and is going to be ready for the 6 weeks to be up so he can feed his son. Sounds like everyone just needs to back off, if he wants to help, fantastic, only you two can decide what works best.

I did expect my dh to help on his days off, and it was no problem. Then he would see how tired I was and would also help ob days I worked. What we have and did worked great.

I really intended him to help out more on the weekends, I know he has a hard job during the week. But he's also a very light sleeper so he'll be up with us anyway because he can't sleep unless it's dead silent in the room.

My husband is the type to just help me without me having to hint or ask. If he sees me struggling with my stepkids he usually tries to step up. I chalk that up to him having those few months as a single parent.

I don't feel so crazy anymore, my mom is really old fashioned, and his coworker is just so nosy and judgmental.

No your not expecting too much. My husband and I rotated feedings and it was a lifesaver

I don't see anything wrong with it. I expected my dh to help during the night and still do

Wont you still have to get up in the middle of the night and pump while he feeds the baby? Doesn't it make more sense to just feed the baby?

I don't think anything is wrong with the men helping but I personally didn't expect my dh to do night feedings when he had to get up and work in the morning. He did help by making the bottle for me while I changed her diaper. That was a good compromise for us so if works for you that's all that matters. Everyone will have an opinion on something.

I'm a sahm and never ask/asked SO to get up at night with the baby. He would if I asked him though, but he works and goes to school. That's just my opinion though. Doesn't mean that's how it should work for everyone.

Eh, I wouldn't expect my bloke to get up and help after a day's work etc BUT he would if it came to it. Sounds like yours would to. Doesn't sound like you demand it off him etc but he wants to as he is dad and wants to helps. Tell your mum to go eat a dick and get the hell out of your relationship. Things change, times change, you got a man who wants to help with HIS kids. Nothing wrong with that!

Those judgmental beaches don't get a say in whether your husband helps with the nighttime feedings or not.

I'm on maternity leave right now, and my husband is working his normal hours, but he gets up and changes Dd's diaper before every feeding. I'm nursing (from the boob) because I don't want to wash more bottles than necessary. ?But he would totally give dd a late night bottle if I pumped one for them.

It's not just about the work of caring for the baby either- feeding/changing/cuddling a baby helps a parent bond with her/him. My dh wants to help. Your dh wants to help. Can everyone just be glad that the babies are loved and taken care of?

Its whatever dynamic works best for your family. If I could pump DH may have taken some feedings early on. He works a high stress job though so if he is on second shift he doesn't get home until at least 1130. If he's on thirds he doesn't come home till morning.

I've only woken him a few times when I've been completely stressed out by the situation and he doesn't mind at all.

You just find what works for you and your family and go with it.

Everyone has their own opinion don't they? I have no idea what I'm doing but I would like to pump so that my husband had an opportunity to feed and bond with the baby. I think it would be nice for him and the nighttime feedings would be a bonus. As far as I'm considered we are in this together. My Inlaws question almost everything we do so I've learned to ignore them. Ultimately the decision is between you and your husband. Have confidence in that and don't let stupid people make you doubt that.