Motherhood: My constant struggle of wanting to hold and snuggle my baby every second of everyday, but desperately needing a few hours of decent sleep. Yes, "babies don't keep" but Mama is going to have a cry if she doesn't get some sleep. Everyday is a struggle knowing that my little man is one day older, one day closer to no longer needing me. Postpartum anxiety feels like a constant, ever present, soul crushing fear of the future but also longing for the past. **May is Maternal Mental Health Month bringing awareness to postpartum anxiety and depression.** I've decided to take a BIG step and talk publicly about my struggles. Even 16 months after Ivan's birth I still check in with a health professional monthly (sometimes more often). If you're struggling or know someone who is struggling don't be afraid to ask for help. You are not alone. You are not a bad mother.