Ex just came and got the baby, and now he's texting me wanting the goods. bahahahahha ha 😂 funniest shit ever. My moms…

@morganmommy79, I think you are exactly right! But things use to be so good! And idk what happened. It slowly got bad and once I moved there it just went to complete shit. But he usually just starts off flirty then

Jumps into like the straight forward stuff. He's never really straight forward right away. He usually eases into it a little at least. But not in person! He never saids anything in person. We'll just shoot the breeze or talk about my son. We really rarely ever actually hook up. We have twice since we broke up right before my son was born. Last time was September and the time before that was February. Otherwise it's just sexting.

@missjess, I wish you the best of luck. He sounds so much like my husband. He's emotionally unattached. He cries over nothing. He had a bad childhood and bad relationship so I think he's built so many walls he just don't care anymore. He's literally turned to just pleasing himself but he admitted to hating the way he treats ppl so he lives in guilt and that makes him angry. Sometimes we can't help them. Sometimes they need an outsider or something just has to happen to change who they have become.

But if you weren't happy it would be very hard to walk back into that again not knowing. If you don't mind me asking, how does he approach you with still wanting to be physical? Is he straightforward or beating around the bush?

@morganmommy79, he said she cheated on him and she left him and this and that. But if he was absent and neglected her the way he did me I don't condone cheating in any way but i can see why she left and reached out to other men for attention. He showed me none while I lived there.I was merely a shadow in the background. No I didn't cheat! But it hurt i cried all the time plus I was very pregnant.I was so unhappy I felt like he didn't want me around and then he did nothing to make me stay. He completely pushed me away and shut me out. And he hasn't been very open toward my son either. I held on as long as I could then his mother was awful to me one day and that cut my thread and it didn't even seem like he was in my corner for that. He told me later on he told her off for that and told her she was wrong and shouldn't of done what she did. But I didn't know it at the time and he didn't talk to me he just let me leave. His dad stuck up for me and talked to me but I couldn't very well talk to him about everything. I just don't know. It's a giant mess and I really don't even know what to say to him if I was going to. Id probably say all the wrong things and it would lead us down the wrong path to nothing again and maybe he feels that way too about saying something and maybe he thinks I don't feel the same. I'd rather it just be how it is. If we were to be together again I want us to succeed in our relationship not and be the way it was last time we " tried " to work it out where it really didn't seem like anything was good it was shitty and I wasn't happy and it barely lasted. Id rather just try and work on being good co parents together if anything and then once we can get to that point maybe try and see if anything can build from there. I think him and I though are both hiding are feelings and are both trying to make it seem like we don't care when we do and like its a no strings attached type thing when deep down we both no it's more than that but we both know we'll never admit it. So we just like toying with eachother and that's not good either. I guess we'll see what happens.

@missjess, the past truly does haunt us if we let it. It's hard not to. Sounds like his ex wife simply ruined it for him. It's something he's going to have to let go of if he ever wants anything to work as far as relationships go. My husband was cheated on multiple times and she got pregnant and gave the baby his last name but told him it wasn't his baby. He raised her for 2 years then she left with her and he hasn't seen her since. It's a void for him. No closure and he hurts. He reacts from that pain a lot so I try to be patient with him. I've noticed that some of our fighting stems from my lack of understanding. I put myself in his situation (mentally) and tried to see where he was coming from. We are getting along so much better but he still has his issues he needs to deal with like he's not very affectionate at all. He's lazy at home. He's always moody and critical. He tries sometimes but needs to make it a life choice. We all have problems so that's why I'm so patient with him. I'm not saying you weren't with your ex.. I just have so many women telling me to leave him. It's not easy to do and I love him. I know he loves me too. He's just got some kinks to work out. Who doesn't?

If you do decide to communicate with him your approach means everything. The first 3 minutes of your conversation determines the end result. If you come in angry or confused it'll end that way too. Just look inside and know what you want when you approach him and if you do try again always give room for mistakes as long as he's trying. I hope the best for you. Hopefully he'll say something or at least open up a little.

@morganmommy79, I think you are right I think he's the same way. He's told me he's not one to chase and make things right. He tried to do it with his ex wife time and time again and got shot down al the time so he said he would never do it again. :( which sucks for me. Because I honestly have no idea what his true feelings are. I don't want to put myself out there and look dumb and get hurt if he is over it and just wants a hook up. I feel like he cares somewhere in there still. Like he was comforting to me when my brother died, he was comforting to me this past November for his 1 year gone. Just held me. Showed that rare moment where he has a heart in there. Checked in on me for days. I'm just scared to say something. And then ok what if he does feel the same then what? Like how do we pick up the shattered pieces and try to put it back together? We need like a complete restart. Fresh. And I think counseling would be needed to try to help us try and understand each other and where we are coming from and how we feel about how one another acts. But then if he doesn't then I just wasted my time and I'll feel super stupid and make things even more awkward between us. We don't even have a good co parenting relationship idk how we could ever have a regular relationship again. I'm lost really in my feelings of whether I want to try with him or not cause he drives me nuts and I can't stand him majority of the time. It's like why bother putting in effort to be with someone like that? A man should fight for his woman. I shouldn't be the only one fighting especially when he's the one that caused our relationship to fail in the first place and when he treats me like im nothing all the time and neglects my child. He needs to man up. But he never will.

@missjess, I understand that. You'll always have that "thing" there for him because you have history and have a baby together. I can tell you that when you do meet someone you're in love with your ex will be just a memory. And possibly a pain in the butt still. Lol mine is. But you'll know when you meet someone new if it's just a tie between you and your ex of if you really do love him.

Me and my husband are both stubborn too. But I feel like I don't want to go all my life not saying or doing something to or for him and regret it because we missed so much time. My husband is so extremely stubborn he'll go to bed angry at night and avoid me for hours. Or he'll ignore me all day. He won't apologize or anything but he says he thinks about it and feels bad but is too stubborn to do anything about it. Maybe your ex is like that. But it's not a good thing. All this time is passing and we could be so in love and having fun but he's too stubborn fix it

@morganmommy79, I honestly feel like I don't even know if it's worth trying to salvage :( I always bring myself back to reality like he's a tool and I deserve better, why would I even want to consider trying to work things out. But I can't help the way I feel. It's a love hate relationship. Most of the time I hate him and wish he'd drive off a cliff 😶 but then there's other times where I for a moment get caught in a weak moment and wish things worked or could work. he definitely is messed up and idk if counseling could even help him if he was willing. He's just set in his ways now to certain things. I wouldn't even know how to approach it if I wanted too. We are both stubborn so we'll probably both just go the rest of our lives not saying anything and then one day it will come out and it will be to late for us. But there's just something with him I can't let go? As much as he's a giant douche I still can't shake him. Idk if it's cause we have a child together and I have to see and talk to him and can't just cut ties. I never wanted us to be over but I felt i didn't have a choice but to end it. And then he did nothing to stop that so. I just need to like get over it.

@missjess, it is a difficult situation especially when one doesn't see any wrong and what they do. My husband was like that for a long time and I finally told him either it stops and you recognize or I'm done. It's been a long and slow process but he's actually been trying to change some things.

Would your ex be open to counseling if you suggested it to him? I'd say he's got some pretty deep issues with something in his past causing him to behave the way he does. He sounds a lot like my husband but I know what causes my husband to feel the way he does. We are working on it do one day at a time. But definitely don't step in and do something to make you feel trapped again. Maybe you'll just have to casually bring it up but first tell him you want to talk and set aside a time to do that when nobody's being rushed and somewhere in a private setting

@morganmommy79, it sucks :( idk what to do. I'm not a mind reader and I don't want to put my heart back on the line to get rejected. He's the one that ruined us to begin with and why should I be the one to keep trying to fix it because he doesn't believe in it?! I seriously think we need like family counseling :X to even be better co parents together. Sigh idk. I want us to be together but idk how to approach it and he's such a jerk idk why I should bother. And idk if he feels the same. And he doesn't see his wrong doings so it's going to always keep

Being the same... :( impossible situation. I feel like part of him might want too but he would never come open about it. I think he thinks I just left cause I didn't want to be with him anymore when I've told him it's cause of his actions and doings and his mom is why I left. I wanted to be with him but I was backed into a corner and super unhappy.

@missjess, yeah I don't ever suggest being a booty call. It's a tough situation because you don't want to walk back into something toxic. It's a shame he won't talk. He's going to let a good thing go if he doesn't open up. He already has. My ex never fought for me either. Just let me and the kids go. Then when I moved on he cried begging me to come back. It was too late tho I had already moved on.

@morganmommy79, idk if he just wants to hook up or if there's more feelings there or not. He'd never open up to me unless I did first and even then idk if he would. He's very closed off and horrible at communicating. He comes off as very cold and non caring and ungenuine toward me and our child. I feel like deep down he cares and has a heart but something in his past has caused him to shut out and be this way. I've tried to work it out not long after we broke up and he did nothing to really change and it didn't last long until we were fighting about something and that was the end of us working it out. he doesn't fight for me or tell me Jess I want to be with you ( a guy should fight for his woman why should I be the only one fighting? He should step up and be a man!) or he never tried to make me stay when I lived there nothing he just let me leave without saying a single word to me. :( he's super impossible. I love him I do, but he also makes me hate him at the same time too cause of all the stupid shit he does regarding my son. He neglected me when I was with him and he neglects my son now . I just don't know if it's even worth trying to salvage. I feel like I'm happier when we are on better terms and I'm happier when he's giving me attention but it's for the wrong reasons. I don't want to just be a booty call I'm better than that.

Well I've learned a lot through my divorce and second marriage. I'm stubborn so I haven't applied half of it yet but if he does love you and you love him won't you regret not trying? If it fails again then at least you'll know for sure. There's a lot of feelings there for a reason.

If he only wants sex that's different but you'll never know without talking to him.

In what kind of ways does he treat you badly? My husband is a jerk but I'm trying to get to know him better. He swears he loves me like crazy he just fails at communication because he really don't know how. I have to be an example to him but I'm so stubborn. Ugh anyway... it'd be great if you two could work things out and be a family. No more separating the baby causing you distress.

@morganmommy79, true that! Like how am I suppose to get over this guy when 1. I see him a couple times a week 2. He's super hott 3. He's always trying to get with me 4. Ugh :( I feel like I just need to put an end to the whole sexual thing that goes on with us but at the same time it's hard to just put a final end to us. I feel like I go on with the flirting and the chemistry and sexting etc because I like the attention from him and I like that the door is still kind of open? But I don't like being seen as just a sex object to him either. And if he ever wanted more then just that he's never say it and neither would I so we're stuck in this like limbo. And he's such a tool and I doubt he'd ever really change :( I feel like him and I need to just sit down and talk like two mature adults but I know it won't happen and if we did I doubt anything would change or get better whether it be with him and I or just him and I co parenting. Sigh idk it's such a sucky situation and idk how to make it better. I feel like I've tried and I try and I get no where but treated like shit and he's always doing shit to piss me off.

@missjess, well you're nice to him because his looks get to you. lol I can literally be ticked off at my husband and want to sex him up at the same time. Lol makes me so mad! 😂

@morganmommy79, god idk. But he's damn good looking lol. Most of the time when he comes in my head I'm like "god damn he's so hot, I'd so jump his bones right now"lol! He's such a dick though 😣 I don't get why. I try to be nice to him and I just get crapped all over it seems. I guess he's mad at the situation but it's his own fault. If anyone should be a giant bitch it should be me! At all times lol.

Why are all the good looking ones jerks? lol