Hey ladies this is my 1st post and I’m not sure if this is the right group to post this in. But a little about me, I’m…

Hey ladies this is my 1st post and I’m not sure if this is the right group to post this in. But a little about me, I’m 23 & I have 2 girls 1yr & 4yrs old , & little boy 3yrs old. I’ve been married for 4yrs & I have a very very blessed life. In fact, my life is so blessed I feel bad about complaining about this, but I am just so bored with being a full time stay at home mom 🙁 Sometimes I get so bored I become depressed. I have no friends, our children are not in daycare, and I have no vehicle to go out during the day because my husband uses our only vehicle to go to work. I have to do all my shopping online, even grocery shopping has be delivery 🤦🏽‍♀️ The only family I have close is my husbands family but I really do not enjoy their company, they curse too much, fight and argue with one another constantly, and seem mentally unstable. I feel so cut off from the world. I went through a phase that lasted 2 months where I would just drink when I was bored just to feel some kind of liberation and kick the depression. I’m so thankful I was able to get through that phase in my life and my husband has always tried to do what he could to help. I feel so bad about how much I’ve made him worry about me. He worries about me while he’s at work and everything. I was never the type of person to stress anyone out, especially him. Sometimes I lie and say I’m having a good day and everything is fine just so he can work in peace and not have to worry about me. He told me he’s scared I’m getting bored of him & he’s scared I’m falling out of love with him, but that’s not it at all! Most days he has flowers delivered to the house while he’s at work, but the owner of the flower shop is a friend of his so a part of it feels like it may be another way of him to be able to check on me to make sure that I’m okay. Today we had a date & he told me that he was hiring me to be his assistant to manage his book keeping and data work for his business so that I have something to do and I can put my college skills to work. I really hope it helps & I was so thankful for him. I feel so weird writing this... because I know there are so many worse off things people are going through, but I just don’t know why being a stay at home mom has made me feel this way. That’s why I’m so confused, why is this so hard for me now? What can I do? It wasn’t like this before, I used to enjoy it so much. But I think I just got tired. And I never get a break from our children. My 1yr old daughter has horrible separation anxiety and still sleeps in the bed with us & is breastfed. My left arm literally has wrinkles from how much I carry her around. Our 4 year old never stops talking & our 3 year old son screams and tantrums all day long and I just don’t know what is wrong with him. I’ve even taken him to the pediatrics multiple occasions to make sure he isn’t ill & every time his pediatrician says “he just has a bad case of the spoils” 🤦🏽‍♀️ basically saying he’s just spoiled. Our 4yr old is in ballet school but it only consist of one day out of the week so that’s really the only time I get some kind of break from at least one child so I can recoup. I have NO adult interaction besides with my husband. I have phone calls with my mom & sis but no real hanging out 😩 I went to a debutante school and grew up with so many girlfriends and I now I have literally not ONE. My husband works 12 hour shifts 6am to 6pm with only Mondays off. So I’m usually always alone 🙁 I just need some advice and hope. Thanks y’all.