Am I wrong to be upset? Last night I was running a fever, weak, tired, sore, my left boob feels like it got used as a…

I wouldn’t be so hard on him, especially if he’s the only income in the home. I’ve sent my husband to work less than 24hrs after giving birth bc he is our sole provider & I know how much he hates missing work & putting his company in a bind, even for one day. It’s not that he loves them as a second family , but he loves us so much that he wants to excel at his job to give us all what we need. And I really appreciate that, personally.

I hope you feel better. Just take it slow today & nap when you can.

Personally I wouldn’t ask my husband to take a day off. I’d just deal.

He gets the choice to call off if he’s overwhelmed or sick. You (all us mommas) don’t. Sometimes we just need some help. I’ve asked my husband to call out before bc I’m overwhelmed. Sometimes he does sometimes he doesn’t/can’t. Your husband’s response was sweet calling you dear and that he wishes he could 😊

I’ve never asked my husband to take a day off when I’m sick. I just deal with it because I have no choice. He runs a business and can’t take a day off for no reason. I don’t know anything about your husband’s work but maybe it’s not that easy for him to take a day off.

I see both sides. However, if you both work and him taking off one day isn’t going to cause financial hardship then he certainly could and should have stayed home. Sometimes we have to prioritize our family over our job, no matter how important our work is or how difficult it may be for the employer if that person takes the day off. I hope you feel better.

I totally understand this because I’ve been overwhelmed before and have asked my husband to stay home to help. I don’t think you’re being ridiculous sometimes shit gets hard. I hope you end up feeling better.

I think this is a sign that there needs to be a set of standards as to when one of you takes the day off for the other. That way you guys both know when it’s important to each other to get the care/rest you need to be an effective parent/caregiver.

I say this because I’m one of the moms who “sucked it up”. I had a fever and was in pain the entire work week. I felt like I was dying. That’s because I literally was and almost did. I ended up in the ICU and having emergency surgery on my boob to save my life. The doctor said 12 more hours I would’ve been brain dead. My husband ended up having to take 2 months off FMLA to take care of us because I couldn’t. That’s when we created a protocol as to when the other parent stops whatever they’re doing and let’s the other rest. Fever over 101 that’s not coming down and lethargy qualify as an example. Sometimes you have to give your partner that time off so the other person can get to a doctor even. Had we done that, I may still have part of my boob and recovery would’ve been weeks vs months.

I really do see both sides and think there’s a reasonable way to make sure all needs are met. I may be a SAHM, but I’m also an investor and a business creator and I make money more than my husband does, but he works outside the home. I’ve had to put my stuff on hold for him too so I could care for him and our special needs son. We do what we gotta do and expect the men to get off their patriarchal horse and do the same. You were upset that he didn’t/couldn’t and you were feeling like crap. You had the right to your feelings. You don’t always have to “suck it up”. Just sayin...

Just want to put my two cents in where it probably isn’t needed, BUT all moms have been in your position and it’s okay to ask your husband for help. Being a mother is so draining and some days I want to get the rest I deserve as a human being too. Unfortunately calling off isn’t responsible or reasonable for being tired. I hope on a day that you BOTH have off he’s able to give you the rest you deserve. Keep pushing through, and when you’re able to rest... REST. Not do the dishes, not bathe the children, not take the garbage out or do the laundry.... sleep.

Personally, yes, I think you are being a little mean. I’ve been sick before and would have loved for my husband to take the day off, but he couldn’t. Especially last minute. It sucks, but it comes with being a parent, I think the compromise is asking him to take this Saturday and allow you to rest.

@leonardsquared it sounds like you have a very busy life and some how manage to make time for your kid and sleep. I however may not be as busy and such but I'm going to ask for help occasionally. I did feel the need to get a bit pouty because I didnt get the help I asked for

@leonardsquared, the mom manual? And no, just because she’s a mom doesn’t mean she needs to be the one to “suck it up” every single day. I’m sure she sacrifices for her kids all the time and takes really good care of them, but that doesn’t mean she’s not allowed to ask for help. And just because a mom feels sick and doesn’t feel she can put a smile on for a day, doesn’t mean her kids are not her main focus.

@spud, I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well. Your feelings are completely valid. I understand where both of you are coming from. It’s not easy taking care of kids when you have a fever, no energy, etc, and obviously you want to be your best self for your kids. And for your husband, he is just trying to earn money for the family and probably has stressors at work that make him hesitant to call out. Maybe he can come home at a decent time tonight and take over with the kids so you can go to bed early and get much needed rest??

No your not wrong..You need help...

I so feel this I'm a stay at home mom and normally I suck it up and push through but there have been a few times I asked my husband to call in sick he has the sick days and it was much needed because I was so sick. I agree yes we stay at home but we are human and when you dont bvb have any outside help you have no choice but to ask hubby. Yes he is the only one getting a paycheck but moms are strong we push through so much. Your not wrong to be upset especially if he was the one sick would he actually stay home. I hope you feel better days I'm sick we just watch lots of movies cuddle and the living room turns into a big tornado but I can watch my son and I can rest.

Hopefully you feel better and get some rest when he gets home 🖤

I do think you're being a little ridiculous. ESPECIALLY if you're a stay at home Mom and he's earning the only paycheck. He HAS to go to work, can't just call out everytime there's a sniffle in the house. That's actually pretty dumb. I think you need to suck it up buttercup. You think EVERY Mom in here hasn't had a day she felt like shit but couldn't stay in bed all day?? Your a Mom, that's part of the deal...we don't get sick days.

I can understand both sides. I see that you work as well. There have been times where my SO was literally begging me to come home because of work plus the children and I work until midnight some nights. I have done the same to him. It’s not easy for him to call in but I have called him and said please hurry. The stress of it all can be a lot. We are only human. With that said, I think it puts a lot of stress on the person going to work or at work because (in my experience) all I can think about is my family and how they are doing. There’s been some rough days, momma

Personally I wouldn’t ask my husband to take a day off. I’d just deal.

Can he plan a day off instead of calling in? Can he ask for Friday off today?

I get why you asked him to stay home and I think his man brain is probably afraid to call off.in these uncertain times. Like give no reason for.an employer to be mad at you.

I hope you feel better soon! I wish we all had more help and didn't have to socially distance. :(

I wouldn’t be so hard on him, especially if he’s the only income in the home. I’ve sent my husband to work less than 24hrs after giving birth bc he is our sole provider & I know how much he hates missing work & putting his company in a bind, even for one day. It’s not that he loves them as a second family , but he loves us so much that he wants to excel at his job to give us all what we need. And I really appreciate that, personally.

I hope you feel better. Just take it slow today & nap when you can.

Erm, his number is in the pic, want me to message him and tell him to get his act together? Lol, I'm just kidding

I think he should have just stayed home. Rest as much as you can, care for the children and in between, rest. Ask him to pick up dinner 🤷🏿‍♀️