If kids came with warning labels mine would read:

Warning! U will fall completely inlove with me, but im going to make u buy me everything, I will pee on you or the floor or my chair whenever u try to wash me up, I laugh at my poop & will rub my boogers on u. Sometimes I scream or cry or both. But im cute & will make u melt when I smile. Be my mommy at your own risk.