Mine wants to throw my make up away

Hell no would I let someone throw away my makeup. That ish is $38 per bottle!

I experienced similar behavior from an ex, and he was controlling and verbally abusive.

I like it when men say they like the no make up look, but choose make up and natural look over bare face ??? my kids dad recently told me, you don't wear make up anymore, (I haven't much since the pregnancy I love the skin this pregnancy has provide.) and I said no why? he said just i always told you, you look good without make up..( in my head I was like, this isn't for you darling) ??

It is seriously so shocking to see how many women saying "he's controlling" you have a voice, if you didn't want to throw them away..im sure you would've kept them.

"what man sits there and helps throw away makeup?"

Is a man who loves to see his woman be a confident young woman who doesn't feel the need to hide behind make up because , MAYBE, JUST MAYBE..he actually does like the way you look naturally. Just because you're young doesn't mean youre f*cking stupid. You know what you want. He helped you go thru old clothes? Good for you! My hubby does the same with me so we can make room for new clothes.! You know your SO more then any of us. Who are we to automatically jump to conclusions about him.? A controlling SO would've probably made you throw away all of your make up..try to use different terms instead of "he let me" because these women will take that and run with it, if you haven't noticed already. Your SO has every right to express the way he feels about certain stuff you do and vice versa. Maybe you do look effing beautiful without a cake face. Alot of men dont like make up.. He's not telling you to not wear make up. He's telling you that you're beautiful without it.

I guess I don't know enough about the situation. I hope you do what's right for you.

Why do I feel like there's going to be another post a few months down the line... "I finally let him delete some contacts in my phone! They were bad influences and he says I can find better friends, he's such a gem"

This is all controlling behaviour, I mean honestly what man truly gives a crap about what's in his oh's makeup bag?

I think he said that so no other man would notice you. He prefers you frumpy. If he says that to you it's a bold face lie. Also pretty controlling

I think he seems like a wonderful man. Congrats!

I second the beauty blender!! Its my absolute favorite.

I did post an update post since it wouldn't let me edit this one.

He always tells me he prefers my natural looks but he doesn't mind me wearing make up at all. My sister did inform me it does look chalky so I started using make up brushes and thought it looked better. But I did notice my face drying out and it looked caked.

One more thing, is he constantly telling you that you look better without makeup?

I ask because my dh will tell me all the time that I'm beautiful regardless if I have makeup on or not. The only time he will specifically say that he loves my natural beauty is when I say something like, "I look so ugly without my mascara." Then he reassures me that I'm beautiful without it and I'm just being silly.

I feel like he is trying to manipulate you in becoming something else and starting to gain more and more control over you. And honestly if your makeup was so chalky don't you think someone that your close to would have said something?!

He is starting to control you but he is going about it in a way that might be hard for you to recognize. Just because you think he is being nice doesn't necessarily mean there isn't an alternative motive behind it. Not everyone starts controlling behaviors in a mean or more open way. Just be careful and stay true to yourself.

@meh that's how it started. I had a hole in the back of my leggings. So I asked for some help with going through clothes. He didn't just go through it and throw away things. He asked me if it still fit, if I still wanted it, etc. I have never felt comfortable in shorts and a tank top so I never really wear them. I only wear shorts when it's too hot out and he never complained about them being too short.

If dh said, "hey you have a hole in the butt of your pants, do you want to throw them out?" That is dh helping. But if dh said, "hey let's go through your closet and get rid of your clothes." That is controlling.

I feel like he is trying to control you. I also feel like he is trying to make you less attractive to others as well as yourself so that you will eventually feel like no one else will want you, no matter what he does ie cheat, etc.

A bit of advice.... I have bipolar anxiety and depression as well. Similar situation as you buuuuuut I'm happily married have two toddlers and another on the way and am 26. Get back on meds. Really. That shat is dangerous not to be on. A switch gets flipped the wrong way in your head and suicide becomes very real. Please be careful. You are SO young!!! I would NEVER have gotten into a serious relationship at your age. You still need to find yourself. And yes we all need to be comfortable without makeup but if it's cakey it's the wrong product for you or you apply it wrong. It's a huge learning process. Also 17 is still a teenager. In 10 years you will want some life experience on your side. If he can't handle you changing and trying new things DONT STAY. I am NOTHING like I was at 17. Just a few thoughts.

If my husband pulled this "I'll let you" bulls*** we'd have a big problem.

I think pp's have got everything covered with this topic, but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about what you've been through. It sounds horrific. ?

Please don't delete this. I have to get ready for my date but I want to read it. ❤️

?

Better not let him see this post, I bet he's going to "make you" delete this app.

'He let you' keep the BB cream?? Wth is this

I'm young myself, I'm 20. But from the outside looking in, this isn't right. Until I got pregnant with our first I wore makeup EVERY day. It was my confidence boost. He always told me I was beautiful either way. Once pregnant, I stopped wearing it as often. When I did wear it he'd asked, 'why are you so dolled up?' I reply with, 'I felt like being pretty.' He'd kiss my forehead and remind me he thinks I'm pretty either way. Now on our second, I still rarely wear it. Yet sometimes will go through a phase where i wear it daily. He knows, I do it for me and he's fine with it. He would never even mention throwing my makeup away. Makeup is my destresser. Some days I feel overwhelmed and taking a few minutes to get 'dolled up' makes me feel better. And he is completely understanding. Don't let a man 'let' you do anything. You should be equals. You may like his input on things, but there is a difference between someone saying I prefer your natural beauty, but understand its not my choice what you put on your face. Rather than someone nagging you about something often.

What man goes out of their way to "help" you go through your makeup and throw it away? If he didn't like the way it looked on you, he should have just said you need to try a different kind. He doesn't sound normal or like he's coming from a good place. It's very weird. Sorry, just trying to open your eyes a little. You're only 17 and I highly doubt you will be with this guy for the rest of your life. Because honestly, if he's this controlling and adamant about other things as well, you will get fed up with it.

My oh says all the time I look better without makeup but it's only because he hates waiting while I get ready!! When I was younger I had a boyfriend who used to try and control how I looked, acted, felt etc in exactly the way you're describing, I ended up with no friends left, never goi g anywhere without him, wearing more conservative clothing, no makeup, listening to his taste in music etc, but it wasn't me, in the end I was so unhappy, I love makeup, clothes etc, just because your makeup was cakey, that's just part of learning, seeing what works for you, I'm not saying people have to wear makeup! I'm just saying always stay true to yourself, keep your own interests, be a strong woman,

Try a beauty blender... Watch some YouTube videos on how to apply foundation. Try a primer first. ENJOY YOURSELF. Enjoy your makeup.

@silent sadly no. I was in a mental facility twice-, one for an overdose and another time I put myself away because I was still feeling they way I did this first time. My program was only 6 months therapy with a psychologist and I saw the actual doctor once a month to go over my progress and see if I need my dosage upped or lowered. But back in 2013 I was pregnant (I was sexually assaulted by my ex before my DF) my doctor took me off my medication and ever since I never been back. But that was in Florida. I live in Maryland. But I hate to bother my mother with my relationship but she has been through this before, I will try and give her a call later and ask her.

I'd be pissed if my husband just threw my makeup or really anything of mine out. I'm a big girl and can do that myself if I want!

I'm sorry you've had a rough life. I most certainly don't want you to go into detail or relieve any of that. My point is- all of those things combined make you a very easy target for someone to groom. He'll swoop in, make everything better, you'll think he hung the moon, and then the grooming begins. Everything about this post points to that. Are you still in therapy? I would explain everything to him/her, they know your past, they can help you better understand if this genuine or manipulative.

Darling he's controlling you! You can butter it up however you want but he is. He 'let you' keep your bb cream? Hell no!

If dh tried to throw my make up away I'd drop kick him (well I wouldn't cos I'm not that flexible but ya know ?)

It's one thing to say you look good without it but another to make you trash it. You're young, listen to us oldies who have been around the block.

Red flag. It just sounds controlling. I don't wear makeup. Literally once a month I'll apply foundation if the mood strikes but that doesn't mean my husband or I would throw my stuff out. To me it sounds like he's controlling you and he's making it sound like a nice / good thing.

Everything I could possibly say has already been said. So I hope you're right op and that he isn't trying to change you. Good luck. ❤️

If you yourself wanted to toss your makeup why didn't YOU throw it away.

I see red flags all over her post and her comments. Op now you're saying that you could be controlling?? What makes you think that if no one has mentioned anything to make YOU look controlling. Do you blame yourself for what your bf might be doing to you? With every comment you try to make things better. You are trying to make it seem like if he's a sweet, loving, and caring guy. That only makes us think worse about him because it looks like you are trying to cover up what really is.

@silent

Hes 19, im 17.

I have had a rough life really don't like talking about it.

I feel as though my psychologist and therapy has saved me. If you haven't read my previous post I made last night, I do suffer from bipolar disorder, anxiety, and depression that I was on medication for. I feel as though he has helped me but not saved me.

We both have been abused as young children.

@beb sorry you're right. I thought you actually meant the other day. Im sorry if I didn't understand.

He and i are making dinner together in a few minutes and I think while we're cooking dinner, it would be best to bring it up. Maybe I can be controlling at times. Maybe I don't realize it.

@pp who asked why I was scared to wake him up, is because of my past, I hate loud noises and I hate yelling. He hasn't yelled me at before when I wake him up on accident, but its the fact that im afraid of being yelled at. Im afraid of men, been like that since i was younger. I know it sounds childish to be scared of being yelled at im just very sensitive to certain things.

If you LIKE makeup, you should be able to buy it and wear it when ever you want. Even if it's just for special occasions. Agree with pp, if he gets upset when you buy more, red flag! Not acceptable. How old is he?

Ahhh my husband tells me everyday I don't need makeup and should just be blonde (my natural hair color). But he also knows I love makeup and my red hair. Never would he go though my things and let me keep what he approves of.... Also I've seen plenty of posts from you and you have had no issue explaining things before. This has red flags all over it. You see it as "helping" but all I see is controlling.

@maddison

Yes ma'am. Go to the store and get some foundation if you want to. Get dolled up if you want to. If this is what you want to do then go for it. Make yourself feel awesome.

Talk to him about it. If he doesn't change his mind real quick then run for the hills while you can.

He sounds a little controlling.. Not just from this post but past posts as well. My husband always tells me that I look beautiful without makeup and don't need it but at the same time he knows I enjoy wearing it once in a blue moon and would never ask me to throw it away. That's just weird..

How old are both of you? Have you had a "rough" life? Do you feel as if he "saved" you? Did he confide in you some very personal things early on? Are you connected by similar tragedies/events? There's a reason behind each of those questions.

Bottom line is this, you're very young and about to be a Mom. I haven't seen anything uplifting about him. You're going to be with him so I would suggest just focusing on your baby and now that you finished hs your next steps (maybe you have idk).

Im not trying to defend him. I know you ladies have been through a controlling relationship or relationships and im very VERY glad you're being very supportive. Maybe i should take a step back and actually think about what you are all saying. I understand you ladies are older and more wiser than me. I must admit hes my first REAL relationship. I know I have a lot of years ahead of me and maybe I should think over what you are telling me. Should I have a talk with him about it? What if he didn't realize he was being controlling until I point it out? Maybe he and I need to make changes in our relationship.

I don't like that "he let you keep" items you already own. That is really controlling.

DH calls me gorgeous when I wake up in the morning barefaced and hair in a mess. He calls me gorgeous when I have lashes on and the whole nine yards.

He knows it isn't his business what I put on my face, but his goal to make me feel awesome no matter what.

For your guy to be so invested in this makes him sound like your parent. ?

I would never take makeup advice from my husband. Cakey or not, I'm asking my girlfriends instead.

Hun even the headline to your post tells enough... 'I finally let him do it'... How long did you have to fight him off throwing away your makeup, before you gave in? After I read your first message I knew this was controlling behaviour. You used make up when you met him right? He wasn't asking you to throw it away then, but now three years later???

@mombie she said the other day. I don't remember how long ago my rant was about him but I know it wasn't this week.

?

Honestly op I really don't think you are seeing the big picture he may do it in a very nice way and manipulate you into doing everything that he wants all the while you are thinking what a great guy you have. Just pay attention to the way things are and watch out for Yourself

I scrolled by this post and couldn't reply earlier but I knew someone would say exactly what I was thinking.

He sounds controlling and I agree with the others

You might not think he's doing anything wrong but these women are so much older than you and has experienced the same thing. Take their advice. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't steer you in the wrong direction.

You're very young so of course you aren't going to think that's controlling behavior. Why would you say he let you keep your stuff, knowing how bad that sounds?

Nope @lb every time I reread this post and op replies I still get a bad vibe.

If you hadn't specified, I would have assumed this post was about a parent.

This doesn't sound sweet.. It sounds creepy and controlling, but maybe that's just me.

Edit: just read the comments.. Glad I'm not the only one."he let you"? "He helps me throw my stuff away"? What. The. f*** .

The only way my make up would be in the trash is if me, myself, and I didn't like it. Of course my dh always complains everytime I buy make up bc i tend to get most of it at sephora?

You may not think he's controlling but this post says otherwise. You're sooooo young and have your whole life ahead of you. I think you liked the makeup but he just didn't like it ?

@love i was going threw the same thing but I have a few scars on my face, like on my nose that I covered up it DF was only trying to make me feel more confident not try to be rude or anything. I did realize I didn't need foundation but I always put it on to cover up the scar on my nose or just cause. It would make my skin look way worse than it is. I wasn't trying to make my DF look like a bad guy. Im really not good at putting words together and I didn't mean to make it seem like he controls me.

Yeah, I'm sure you'll "notice" a lot of things if he says them enough.

?

"He told me it wasn't cakey and if I wanted to keep it, I can". He gave you permission to keep something that is yours....

The more you are trying to defend him the worse this is sounding and I don't believe that is your intention and maybe it wasn't his intention but I'm not getting a good vibe by how you are wording this

@serena I know what you mean. I don't think any woman needs make up. Im just glad he's the first guy to tell me that he loves my natural beauty and the fact that he was honest to me saying my foundation was cakey. I noticed it too this morning and I tried blotting my face to make it less cakey but it failed and we were already running a bit late to run errands since we woke up an hour late.

In all honesty, I looked at myself in the mirror today and I saw that I didn't need it. It made me look way older and I took it off and I literally felt a weight lift off my shoulders. He made me realize that I should feel comfortable in my own skin. I didnt mean he let keep my BB cream he said it wasnt cakey and if I wanted to keep it, I can hes not going to force me to do something I don't like doing. I swear hes a big cuddly bear.

No he's not the make up police. I even said I noticed my foundations were cakey. And I asked him before to help me donate clothes or throw them away. Hes not controlling I promise. Im sorry if it sounds that way, im really not that good with words. Im just trying to say that he's a great DF for helping me out. In all honesty, and I swear on it, that I was totally on board with everything. If I felt controlled or feel as though hes only making me doing it just to make himself feel better, I wouldn't be with him. Im just glad he told me the truth. It's not like he said I couldn't wear foundation anymore. He just said that mine looked too cakey. Im sorry ladies if it sounded like hes controlling me. Im not great with putting words together.

You're very young so I know you may not realize this but this post doesn't come off as a good thing. I saw way too much "he says". Okay, and what do YOU say? You're the most important voice.

I like this while at the same time I'm cautious. I'm concerned that he "let" you keep some stuff, my husband doesn't "let" me keep anything, I choose to.

I was totally on board. I knew it had to happen one day I had way too many things i never used, or it was empty and was too lazy to throw away, or didn't plan on using in the future. I had 4 foundations I have used just once and never used again. I had lipsticks in my bag that I have never used and are still unopened but his mom likes lipstick so I put them aside for her. If I felt like he was forcing me, then I'd be out the door in a heartbeat.

??? @ the "he let me..." ???

Yeah this would be a big fat nope for me. I'm an adult and I'll do as I please. For instance I love high heels I'm from Miami and it's the norm. DH doesn't like them he'd prefer a more conservative shoe but it makes me happy so he let's it be. If something looks bad he will tell me and I will tell him but we will help each other find what looks good.

Is he the makeup police?

I just don't like that you said "he let me keep"

You mentioned he helped throw away your clothes too? I had a boyfriend like that once. Didn't like my makeup or clothes. In reality- he tried to change everything about me so "men would find me less attractive". All while he was out cheating with women who wore similar clothes he'd thrown away, and tons of makeup.

@monkeys I only let him throw away the foundations I had lol. Nothing else unless he noticed that something is empty.

@kms, I go to Walmart to buy my make up lol. My mom bought me a lot of expensive make up i don't even know how to use. But I kept it in Florida at my moms and my sister uses them for her friends. My sister does make up for her friends for prom, weddings, etc. My mom said she knows I like to play with make up so she buys Me the expensive stuff when I have told her I'll be all good with Walmart make up. I barely wear make up myself but I like to do it here and there. I only wear it once or twice a week.

I do like it but I noticed it was cakey even when I put a little on so I wasn't upset about it. He let me keep the BB cream since it's tinted a bit and doesn't cake up. I have used so many foundations and they always caked up. Hes a great DF and I don't feel like he controls me at all. He said if he was wearing something I didn't think looked right, hed want me to let him know instead of going out looking stupid. I had a controlling boyfriend before and he wouldn't even let me have friends. He barely ever does things like this. He helped me throw away my old clothes that didn't fit if they were over used and helped me donate my clothes I only wore once and hid it in the back of the closet. This is the second time he told me something and helped me out. He literally helped me go through my make up bags to find the foundations instead of just taking them and going through them. I have only one make up bag now instead of three lol. It was well worth it

I wear very light makeup. I hate the fake look. I laugh when see people talking about spending hundreds of dollars on something they will wash off at the end of the day!

I've never worn make up lol

Women all the time just look at me and ask how? Youre so lucky! I was just never allowed (by my parents) and by the time I got into high school, all my friends got used to me not wearing make up. I wore it for dances and prom and such but I don't wear it AT ALL. one of my favorite things my husband loves about me. My very first time dying my hair was when I turned 18. Lol I can hug my husband and bury my face into his chest without ruining his fresh white tees lol

I'm 24 now

While I'm glad you're happy, I think it's kind of sad he threw away your makeup if you like it. My husband likes my bare face too, but I LIKE how I look with makeup on.

Hopefully he can continue to build your confidence.

I'm glad you found someone who loves you for you. I think that's really important in a relationship. Only, don't let the whole "he says" thing get out of control. If you enjoy putting on the foundation every once in a while or changing your hair color, go for it. It's all about what makes you happy!!?

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