Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Hi

I am into my 15 week now

But since last two days am not having good feeling....I just feel something is wrong inside wid d kid...all my symptoms r too less

Morning sickness is gone....Metallic taste of my tounge is also less....and I feel pain in my abdoman twice or thrice which is very minor though

What should i do i am very confused

Already have gone through 5 scans because of changing gynec

Just feel that untill i hear the heartbeat or see my kid i wont b ok....got sleepless nights

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

Am I wrong for not wanting anybody to hold the baby if it's not me or my husband? If they touch them I have them to sanitize their hands I do it to my kids also??

Is it rude to not want anyone at the hospital?

I was just informed that my MIL wants to be waiting at the hospital so as soon as I pop out the baby she can rush in to be with the baby. I am really a private person and dont really want anyone at the hospital when I give birth (except my husband). I was planning on calling all the family to come to the hospital once I was all cleaned up and ready for visitors. Am I being rude? How do I tell them I dont want visitors a minute after pushing out...