Is it rude to not want anyone at the hospital?

I've got the hubby problem too. FTM and I know he will call everyone the second we go to the hospital. No moms in the room hubby and I plus my doula (old high school friend) bc hubby will likely hit the floor (like his dad did;). Moms are both toooooo dramatic not obnoxious just in your face rubbing your head what can I do dramatic. I have serious personal space issues and deal with pain and sickness very privately.

Idk how to convince hubby that I don't want him calling family until I'm at least 6-8 cm dilated. I already chose a hospital 40 min away when there's one half a mile from my house. He will never agree. He told everyone we were pregnant within two hours of knowing. Silly men.

and in reply to samlemaire: sometimes you have to tell ppl how it is. Im like, the most nicest person ever and i hate confrontation or being mean or rude, but if anyone tries to 'step on my toes' or force themselves into my life I gotta put them in their place. If they love you, they'll respect you later for it.

Don't let ppl walk all over you! your a strong woman who's about to become someones everything. Fight for what you think is right and don't back down...anyway..hope that helps lol..that's what I would do..(and am currently doing in my own situatuon) :p

I feel ya there...I LIVE with his parents (rough time :/ ) and my MIL says shes gunna take a week off work to help 'teach' us stuff. I appreciate the help, dont get me wrong, but I am a 'take charge' kinda person and like to do things myself. Especially when we have obvious differences in how to do certain things. She's had five children, so I can learn a lot, but I just want time with MY baby fer cryin out loud. I feel like I'm being TOLD what to do constantly and I feel obligated to listen since we live here rent free..such bs. Now, husband is pushing for her to be in the room, and actually didnt even tell me it was planned...sorry dude, but I don't feel comfortable with that. He says its cause he needs support too, but I think thats bs too. Ill call on the 'mothers' if they are needed. Otherwise I only want him there and want at least that first hour to ourselves..which he doesnt get apparently and thinks I'm the rude one..men..I swear.

It's not a lot to ask to have some private time with your own child and lover before you are swarmed with visitors.. (especially since the baby is kept in the room with us at all times)

sorry, frusterated.. :/

this makes me feel better, I'm.not worried about my mom, I'm worried about my fb's sister. she already comments when she is going to take the baby overnight and she us not. I don't know how to approch her without sounding rude. help.......also she wants to rush to the hospital right away... I want it to just b Me and my dh..for a few hours. I'm also concerned on how to deal with her wanting to come over every weekend I need my space I'm just that type of person. any advice ??????

bump

So relieved to see so many other women feel the same way. I don't want anyone at the hospital except my mom and my husband. We will let people know when we are ready for visitors!!!

I think it's a special time for the new family- mom, dad, and baby. Grandmothers seem to think they r a little more important than they really are! My mil lives in Florida and wants to come stay with us (in a tiny NYC apartment) the day the baby is born. We said no way. It's important for the new parents to bond with the baby and with each other before hosting overnight guests in my opinion! I'd probably feel different if it was just a visitor and not a houseguest!

Stina good way to look at it. Thank you.

My family could care less and wont be there. My husband's family is far away and won't be there. Truthfully, I think its great so many people love you and want to share in the joy.

Not rude! Having a baby is a personal moment that should be shared with you, your baby, and your loved one unless you say otherwise

just dont tell MIL until after the baby is born and tell her labor happened too quick.

Not rude, I've gone rounds with the same argument bc my mom gets to be in there. MIL and hubby need to understand your needs, I just explained that a) if I am not comfortable labor will be more difficult, and B) my mom is only there bc hubby is very squeamish and concerned that he may pass out, and if that happens I still need support, his mom viewing my vajayjay doesn't feel comfortable to me

Not rude at all because your husband might also feel obligated throughout your labor to go to the waiting room & give her updates which will cause a distraction for you and possibly a disagreement. I agree with the post before me if she does show up explain to the nurses how much time you want alone as a new family they will deal with the mil they are used to it. Good luck

Honestly. Make a birth plan and talk to your nurse. They can tell everyone to stay out of the room nicely mind you and take care of all that for you. It helped me hugely! With my second.

My sister was induced with her twins and my parents and I were in the waiting room from the moment she got induced but she told us from the beginning that when they are born her and her husband want an hour or two alone with the babies first which is totally understandable I think I'm going to do the same thing. So if people really want to sit in the waiting room for 5 + hours let them but tell then they aren't coming in the room until either ur partner texts them or gets them from the waiting room which won't be till you're all cleaned up and have had ur first private moments with little one :)

My MIL lives in another country. She booked her flight and then told us she was coming to stay for over month...with out asking us! When we said no thank you we would prefer some private time with the baby. We got TOLD she needed to bond with her grandchild and we had to understand. She's still coming we think. My friend thinks she will try and get herself into the labour room....hubby is on strict instructions not call anyone till Im ready.

I have nothing but drama with my situation I'm getting a csection with this one, My Mil thinks she is going to be in the surgery room with me, being that only one person can be in the room while I'm undergoing surgery that person is going to my babys father, no one else. He works at a chemical plant and really does not have a car so I doubt if I will tell her when babys coming because she may try to do something corrupted all I would do is tell them to escort her to the waiting room not to sound b**** y but my own mom can't be in there with me what makes her think she can. ughhhhh I'm sorry had to vent hate when people think they can always have their say so in eveything!

I wanted the sane thing but hubby won't listen and its going to call everyone when I go to the hospital anyway...its bs

Thanks everyone! Part of my problem is my husband is too nice and thought I was crazy for not wanting his parents there in the waiting room! I just dont want the added stress of anyone in the waiting room... they only live 100 miles away, they can wait at their house until we call them to come!

Agreed, just get hubby to call her when you're ready for the visit xx

I agree to not rude. I've been thinking about this myself also, and I would want to have time alone with my baby and husband because we live with some of his family..so it's not like they won't see her! My parents live four hours away so Im thinking of letting them know when I arrive at the hostpital, but will have to wait for another call to actually come see. (with everyone else) I am freakin out with all the ppl that will b around..since no one comes to visit EVER..but oh..have a baby and suddenly ppl wanna come around..haha I just hope they don't come in swarms! >_

Calling my dad cuz he wont come right away my cousin and my sister thats it and thats when i get close. We will also call his dad.

no it not rude i had said the same all i what is my hubby n my one year old in the room when baby gets here abd the next day ill call his family becuz i gave no family of my own were we live only his...

you will be so tired and want to nap after and baby will be in the nursery for a bit so I would tell her that

Definately not rude. You need time to bind with the baby not have someone rush in and want to hold Lo straight away. This time the only person to know will be my mum because she will have my daughter.

You aren't being rude! We were told that at our hospital anyone who isn't in the room has to wait at least an hour before coming into the room for a normal delivery. I'd find out from your hospital what their policy is!

i plan on doing the exact same thing! we r not going to let anyone know im in labor until after ive had the baby.

Not rude at all,I've told my family and bfs family I DO NOT want anyone at the hospital before during or after labour,it's not a party and it's very private so don't feel bad if you don't want ppl there x

Not rude. I don't allow anyone except my hubby there till a few hours after. That's our time together before being bombarded with people. My mom didn't like it at first but when that day came (all three times) she understood.

Yep not rude. Either don't phone her till after the baby arrives or tell the nursing staff to keep her out until you're ready and claim 'policy'!

We are only calling my mom when I go in labor cuz she'll be in the room with us. Everyone else is getting called once he's here, but his dad gets the first call once baby is born. I completwly understand you not wanting her waiting, it's not rude at all.

That's kind of what we are doing. We aren't calling anyone until the last minute. I have to stay in L&D for 1-2 hours after birth before I am moved to my regular room. I dont want any visitors until I'm our of L&D and have had a bath/shower.

My whole family will probably be in the waiting room waiting for the birth. Mom, hubs, MIL actually in the room with me. I think it's a wonderful thin to have so much love and support and it's so important to the grandparents. But at the same time they should respect whatever decision you make as far as your privacy. Just tell them how you feel and surely they will respect your decisions.

I'm doing that. with my first every one was there right after I had my son and they all fought over who would see him first. that pissed me off. I gave birth I get to hold him first.

this time it's only gonna be me and my husband. after we're all cleaned up and rested then we'll invite people to stop by.

I don't think so! I'm the same way. My bfs uncle n aunt want to be called the second I go into labor n I'm like I'm not even calling my uncles n aunts! When the bby is born I want my fam n my bf n his fam if they want but either way I want time to be alone wit just me n my bby.

Not rude. If I knew my MIL wouldn't take of the wrong way, I would say visitors could wait for a day or two or even till we are home, but she would hit the roof. Thankful, they live 3 hours away so I can hopefully time it decently well to gave some time with my baby before the herd shows up.

With my first child I had 35 visitors in a 3 day and period, most of them there daily.

I am private as well, I will not even be telling my family only my mom and sister that I will be delivering because I know a lot of them would not respect my wishes of not having any visitors.

not rude at all do whats best for u n ir family...when i had my first baby there were about 20+ people there waiting the whole 12 hrs i was in labor...not fun!!! when i had my second baby no one was there except my mom n hubby!! with number 3 im going to do the same!!!

just don't let your hubby call anyone till u ready....my bag is in the car....my mil leave with us and watch the kids, on Tuesday I had a little scare n hubby took me to the hospital by the time we got to the there she had already call her whole family n they were there waiting n when I got sent home her daughter in law said to me " u not embarrass for getting all of us here for no reason " imaging u I didn't call them, so on the way home I told hubby next time we don't say anything to her big mouth ....now my bag stays in the car all we have to tell her is that we be right back...lol sorry I needed to vent ...

Not rude! Most hospitals now want moms to have an hour or more of 'skin to skin' time with the baby. Then they will check the baby in the room or in the nursery to be sure the temp is right, the sugar, and other things... They should wait for you to say 'all clear' to go to the hospital for sure!

no way are you being rude! with things like that you have to be straight foward. and say it. tell them you'll call when your ready for visitors.