As I'm getting to the very end of my pregnancy and I think about being a mother. All the wrong that was done to me and is still being done and thrown in my face with my dad bothers me more and more.
He was in my life growing up, my parents were for the most part together, but he wasnt actually there. My mom raised and disciplined me. He didn't bother with me at all. as I got older I grew hatred towards him more and more.
now that I've burried those feelings and realized it is what it is, it's killing me to see him doing EVERYTHING he NEVER did for me, with my sister.
Things my mom would of beat my ass for growing up, my sister does daily. My dad kisses the ground she walks on and would mentally abuse me all of the time when I was her age.
He continues to doubt me and just treat me the way he always has. but now that I see him treating my sister so much better, it fuckin kills me.
how can you treat your children so differently? what the fuck did I do wrong to make him feel a certain way towards me. I'll never have resentment towards my sister, envy? sometimes, but I love her little ass, my dad though? sometimes I can't stand the thought of him.
sigh...