I want honest advice from ladies who've been or are in long term relationships or marriages. I keep hitting the same roadblock with my boyfriend for almost a year now. He constantly wants to know what I am doing or who I am talking to, why I am not responding quick enough and always seems to think I am going to be doing things behind his back to hurt him if he doesn't do all of this. Me making this post will probably even make him mad and think I am just talking about him and looking for reasons to argue or leave him. I've have done everything I possibly can, I've told him it's pushing me away, I've told him that he has nothing to worry about, I've even cursed him out over it because I'm just tired of the whole issue. Our relationship is great but this issue has been going on for so long that I don't think I can hold on much longer. And I don't know what to do when in his mind he's still in the right to do all of this because to him it's a sign that he cares, regardless if it's hurting me or not. I don't think I have many options left.
Комментарии
I'll keep trying, I get angry very fast so I know I have my difficulties too. Sometimes I just don't know what to say when he makes it seem like I shouldn't be using my phone at all unless it's to talk to him or do something that involves him. @cfernandar24
@chibibunnyx, you see how I see? Arguments drifted us apart! And complements and simple acts of kindness bring us closer! If you dealing with an insecure person and they love you the more you argue the more crazy they become! They don't quite understand they are wrong! Paranoia walks together with insecurity... 😫😖 this is why changing his mindset its gonna take time and a lot of love to do it so!
@chibibunnyx, insecurity does that lovey I dont even think its your boy! Its just how insecure he is! Thats why I say it takes time but the change its possible! If you argue again and again it gives him no option but to have the same mind set we don't change for nobody unless we feel like we should! Changing also takes time! Thats why I feel reassurance its your best bet! For him to start believing this is his ground and he feels SAFE! I can tell you from my own experience!
I have but he always ends up turning it back to the issue. he's stubborn lol... if I am online looking at anything and a message pops up its an immediate red flag for him. he gets antsy if I respond, feels like I shouldn't. and I live in Florida miles away from my friends in NY. I don't have friends here so it makes it very difficult to compromise when I barely talk to my friends anyway. I understand our time is sacred but I can't help when my phone does or doesn't ring 😓
I even tell him to get the same apps I do so he can feel included and he says no. @cfernandar24
@cfernandar24, I do think he's worth it, but when he puts up that front of feeling he is in the right for all of this, it gives me a feeling of disappointment like I really can't get him to understand. and in these moments it makes me not want to be affectionate or expressive cause It's almost a waste if he's still having the same mindset.
@chibibunnyx, we humans tend to pull away when something frustrates or bring us fear its just nature! Instead show him the opposite! If he argues about you being in the phone be creative with your answers and say! I was looking online for a gift you might like!! Or something we might do this weekend you may enjoy! Again like I say make him feel like its always about him!
no, I know he's not like that. That's what I like about him because I feel safe in that aspect. But I can't get through to him for him to realize he doesn't need to do any of this. He feels he's simply making sure I am not doing anything he doesn't approve of. In the beginning of our relationship I had an instance where an ex contacted me and asked how me and my mom we're doing and that sparked a whole argument, but it was 2 years ago and he still brings it up and says I would probably be doing worse than that if he doesn't do all of this. @angelkisses
@chibibunnyx, honey I know the frustration i been in the same boat! We eventually broke up because I couldn't love him and we drifted but I have too be honest he was a great guy!! And what I learned over the years is this! Nobody sticks around unless they WANT to! If you feel like your relationship its worth fighting for then work for it! At first its gonna be over the top and your frustration will only get bigger and bigger but is he worthy all this? If in your heart you find a YES then it takes time! Tell yourself how important he is and make it out loud so he can hear!
it makes me wonder if hes not doing it out of guilt. I hope not though. @chibibunnyx
@angelkisses, I have told him that, I've even told him he's gonna push me into someone else which is the main thing he wants to avoid, but instead he said if that happens it's because I wanted it to and the person was already there. 😓😓😓
@cfernandar24, his job allows him to text most of the day unless he is doing a delivery. so we talk most of the time, but if he sees I am online using my phone he gets upset and thinks I am having better conversations with others and not him. if I am busy at home he thinks I am only just not responding to him but have time for others. I try to reassure him but it frustrates me and gets me stressed because he is constantly thinking the same thing.
@chibibunnyx, most men have insecurity problems and this is a big thing! The worse thing you can do its bring more insecurity instead of arguing with him over this and threatening to leave!! Try to reassure him every time he does it! If you feel he is a good guy and worth the relationship make sure he knows! Do random acts of appreciation! Like a text or even a middle of the day phone call Always COMPLEMENT him even in the silly things, make him feel like he is unique and I guarantee you will see a change if you guys are intimate announce a loud how great he makes you feel! I know if might sound funny and a lot of girls will thing i am being too submissive but the truth its! Insecurity its a big thing for women and men! You only fix with reassurance! Not fights... Good luck hun!
I have been married for 6 and i have to agree with the ladies trust is everything in a relationship. I will say give him time and if he doesn't changed you will not need no advised you will just RUN because he will suffocate you.
Trust is a huge part of a relationship. He sounds extrememly insecure and paranoid.
That's a sign of insecurity.. He needs to chill out and let you breathe. I went through that in a part of my relationship and I couldn't do it. I told him he needs to trust me and give me my space or we won't be together period.
I have been married 21 years now and trust is a must. If he can't learn to trust you then all you will do is be stressed forever. Maybe explain to him that if he doesn't start trusting you, you will be forced to walk away. after all he'd Hate it if the tables turned. Good luck hun
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Racial nickname
I sometimes call my lo monkey. To me he looks like a little monkey. My so says it's racist and offensive. What do you think?
Am I wrong to be upset? Last night I was running a fever, weak, tired, sore, my left boob feels like it got used as a punching bag. I asked my husband to call out of work today to help me with the kid so I could get some rest. He went to work. I texted him this morning. Part of me thinks I mean. The other part of me thinks I was fine for saying that because he should've stayed home with us.
Trigger. Lost baby
Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?
So I think my husband has been trying to tell me something without telling me if that makes sense. The reason I say that is cuz there is this chick that would leave us alone and he told me to tell her yesterday that he send me a letter saying he wanted a divorce. But than when I call him back after talking to her. I ask if he really wants to get a divorce and he just laughs and says no I don't. I can't believe you would think that. But it's not the first time he has made me do this with another ...
I know I'm not the most affectionate person out there. I try to tell him he needs to work on his insecurity so I can feel more comfortable beibg affectionate. A lot of the times it tuns me off and makes me not want to engage in anything at all. I just don't know how to work around it to still be affectionate enough for him to understand it's not worth it. @cfernandar24