Ok moms. I need help with choosing the best way to go. So my baby's dad and I are not together. He cheated on me and left me to go back to his first baby mom and now they are engaged and he just got out of rehab and a whole bunch of other stuff. My dad and stepmom, who I am eternally greatful for, do not want him involved in the baby's life. They don't want his family involved either because it will be nothing but disappointment for me and my son. At first I thought the best option was to just not put him on the birth certificate because I won't get any money from him for child support so why take the rocky path and give him legal rights to show up at my house and having to let him see his son. Now I'm starting to think about just going to full custody and giving him visitation but I've been more and more hormonal these past few days and he knows how to sweet talk and I feel like that is the only reason I am thinking about this. I just don't know what to do. I know my parents know best but at the same time if someone told me I couldn't see my son I don't know what I would do. (Even though I did speak to his mom today and she said that he went up to her and said he doesn't know if he is going to love this baby. I'm pretty pissed about that.)
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I'll never understand how a parent can abandon their child or not love them. It is so unnatural to me.
@mustangs5, you can always give him time later but you can't take it away if you give it to him now. I would wait and see if he even shows any interest
I still keep replaying his mom telling me that he doesn't know if he could love this baby over and over in my head and it gets me more and more mad. Like now he decides to do this and I'm due on Friday....
I didn't put my daughters dad on it and guess who still hasn't came around
Of course you wouldn't know what to do cause you carried him! That's a totally different situation. I would fight for full custody and child support and give him your last name! You didn't make this baby alone. And if he got visitation id make sure it's supervised by a third party. I wouldn't back down from this.
@2ndchancemommy, @alainalovesmommy the other thing is that he doesn't even go around his other son anymore. He could care less. He is great for the first couple months then disappears.
I am in a very similar situation and I am in the same dilemma as you. I go back and forth on it everyday. If you don't put him on the birth certificate and he really wants him as his child he can take you to court to get his name put on there. I just don't want my baby girl to be hurt by her father when he chooses to not care anymore.
men are a bunch of assholes...they get to yu in pleasure...they try to hide their feelins to forget about their tru anger....& cause anger on us...I don't think keeping him away is gonna make yu feel better bekuz yur always gonna feel like ok wat if he wants to be involved & now I'm the typical baby mama...but don't let it get to where he's running over yu with it either...at that point I wud do the legal thing tho like now yu can only visit instead of being a real dad & comin to get him wenever yu wud like...
you don't have to put him on the birth certificate , you can still let him see his child but if he doesn't come around its his fault
i dont think you should deny him from seeing your baby. if hes going to be a disappointment for u and most importantly your child, then by all means know your limits. let him visit/see the baby but dont completly take away the chance for your boy to know his father. who knows, maybe when he sees his little boy he'll fall back into place and be a good father
I don't think you should take away his rights as a parent because later down the line it only affects your son . Imagine how he might feel to look at his birth certificate when he gets older and see no name under father . But your priority is to take care of you and your son first . Make everything on your terms . Seeing him , coming around ,etc. if then you have to go through the courts for custody or whatever then do what you have to , but at least give a chance to be a dad to your son . All boys need their fathers . Just do it all on your terms .