Its very scary. But you seem to be very aware of what you are doing and not leaving anything to chance. I think I would give him another chance and let him know it's going to be the last one so he should be able to keep it together. I know you will be a great mother, you are already thinking of your baby first. Very few people do that.

@shey, thats what im afraid of if I do go back and he isn't willing to change. yes I miss him and hope thing go better, but at the same time I dont want my kid to go thru it and like you said I dont want them to think thats ok.

@seay2013, you are being very smart. And yes, our children come first. If we don't show them how to be in a loving relationship they will think it's okay to be in an unhappy one.

@shey, i did made him add me back on the insurance and he then later said sorry for everything but I told him I cant go back till he shows he wants to be apart of me and the baby and changes. he said he will do counseling for himself because of everything that happened to him when he was younger and everything he decided to do after he got adopted. yes I want my marraige to work but I think I want my baby to be safe and not be in a home where the parents cant communicate. if he shows he changes maybe I will go back but I can't have my hopes high cuz he is that type that will do it for a while then give up. :/

@seay2013, of course you are hurt especially since you are hormonal because you are pregnant. I know you will do the right thing for you and your baby and their is no hurry. But since you are still married to him you should make him help you financially.

@shey, I already filed a portection order against him. one thing I found out is divorce cant go thru until the baby is born here in Texas. still hurts me with everything he did. I was hoping once he saw me when he came back from military training things would change

Take him to court. If he doesn't want to help you while you are pregnant with his child this will help you in the future by not having to share your child with him. But if you want him to be in your baby's life you can always take him to court for child support when the baby is born and other things..you are not alone and don't have to have all this burden on you alone

@shey, I wanted one with him was even willing to forgive him for what he did. Right now after all of this I dont want to talk to him or see him even tho deep inside I wish he will make an effort to contact me in any way, and right now im just moving on doing different steps since for now I am going to be a single parent. have to go back to work and get insurance since he said he wasn't going to provide any for me or the baby.

Decide what kind of relationship you want with him before baby comes. Stress isn't good while you are pregnant only because it's never good for you but the baby can't feel your emotions so don't worry so much. Relax and live your life for you and your child. Someone who hurts you will always hurt you, you and the baby don't need that. Whatever you choose I wish you good luck

@kiraharjo22, im hoping it does. because he was the one that wanted a baby I actually wanted to wait longer than a year an half after our first time.

@prissyprissyme, it does help I haven't told my family everything either but its cuz I am ashamed that I took in everything he did.

putting a smile an not caring what he does will piss him off which is the best revenge because he will make his life miserable in order to try an get under you're sink which he probably will but dont let him see that he does it only makes it worse for you an easier from him trust me an surrounding you're self with family don't seem like it helps but in due time it does i promise just let everyone know that you'd rather not talk about him or with him until you're ready to

@seay2013, yes it's so hard, my family isn't fully filled in on all the details of everything either so I don't talk about it much but they are aware. They don't bring up anything unless I do. I'm just so grateful for this app because it makes everything so much easier, and I mean everything lol

@prissyprissyme, omg that's how I feel. my sister was going to go to church when I showed up in her door step this morning and I told her to stay with me cuz I dont want to be alone because I know im just going to think about it more. and I hadn't told my mom or dad and its like my dad knew cuz he called me asking if everything was ok. but I knew once he heard my voice he would automatically know and he did.

@seay2013, trust me I know my sons father and I haven't spoken for months, literally no contact, except for the in between nosie people who conjure up drama and make everything worst. I deal with the stress by not dealing with it, but I surround myself with family, mainly my mother and sister. Even if I'm sitting in silence in their company, because honestly being alone in a room is the loudest at times like this

thank you @prissyprissyme I know it will get better but it is always easier to say than do.

Wow this sucks I seems your post about you being excited for him to come home. I try not to deal with stress by simply tuning it out, but it does get overwhelming and stressful. I want to say everything will be okay but I know myself that doesn't work much, I honestly hope you get through it and you feel better with time.