I haven’t been on this app in months but I needed somewhere to go to vent. I literally am losing my self trying to keep…

I haven’t been on this app in months but I needed somewhere to go to vent. I literally am losing my self trying to keep my family together. Been with my boyfriend for 5 years and it’s never ever been peaches and cream. It’s always been a rocking ship. But since bringing my son into this world it has gone down hill more than ever. I’m doing everything on my own. Getting shut off notices left and right and being the one to have to figure it all out before he finds out so that I don’t have to deal with what comes from him. Recently was fired from my job last weekend bc if not having a sitter on fridays bc we both work but it’s mainly bc he wanted me too so that he doesn’t have to sit at home his two days and be a father! I worked 36 hours in just three days would come home cook and clean and take care of the baby right away and then get myself around for the night. The mental and emotional abuse I go through I’d never want any women to go through. My birthday is two weeks away and just got a shut off notice for my birthday. Well now since my unemployment hasn’t been approved yet I’m lost of words. Yesterday was a fight bc I didn’t put gas in the car for him to go to work (there was enough gas in the car) he just needed to put gas in it to make it home. I’m not a women I care about myself, stupid, dumb ass bitch,! I don’t ask for a lot from this man at all I don’t ask him to cook or clean, not one night has he put our son to bed he is 15 months old! He has given 3 baths and bitched and complained about it. And it hurts me so damn bad to want to leave but then I think of my son first that’s his father. He will miss his dad. But then I think he watches me cry Day in day out he knows mommy is hurt but then I just keep thinking of him. I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore and it’s all thanks to this boy should be a man who has ruined my life!