How Can I Be Sure About Adoption?

I’m a birth mom. You will regret it to the day you die. Believe me. Seek therapy.

Rocking chair moves, dark room, Blank stare, melancholy doom, Holding babe, lanky arms, Tear falling, first do no harm.

Rock forth, rock back,

Losing grip, feeling slack,

Beautiful girl, pudgy cheeks,

Trying to hold close, feeling so weak.

Told you’ll be okay, trying to believe,

Closing your eyes, just feeling grief,

Slipping fingers, baby girl falling,

Quickly catching her, still bawling,

Fixated spot, empty wall, A big void, emotional overhaul, Losing the battle, giving up, Hating the child, yet still in love.

Months gone, still feel alone, Trying to find happiness, trying to feel whole, Body raped, pill after pill, Combinations played, climbing that hill, Happy eyes stare, filled of ocean blue, Trying to love, holding and hugging you,

Dormant smiles, buried deep,

Hiding my pain, inside I weep,

Hour glass runs out, flipped once again, Feeling less zombie, gaining control of my head,

Hearing you laugh, seeing you crawl, Suddenly amazed, Inhaling it all, “The sun is shining,” I say holding you, “Let’s go out and observe,” just us two,

We both stare in awe, you at the sky,

Me taking deep breaths, pushing your first year to the side,

The rocking chair still sits, alone and bare, Room still darkens, my mind is not there, Now cradling you, swaying side to side, I’ll never leave you, my baby girl, my pride.

@avianlouiebos, I need your email

@em.schultz0 sure message it to me

Can you sleep train him? We had to do this at 4 months with my little guy. I struggled with depression due to the lack of sleep. I have a sleep training plan that I can email you. Follow it for the entire 10 days and your little guy will be sleeping well. It’s hard, but once he’s sleeping better, you will feel SO much better. Motherhood became tolerable after that for me.

I’ve been where you are. My youngest was so much like this. It DOES get better. I promise.

@fakoffyeh no, i just wish youd trust i know its not an option

@hockeymomx2 he has to get up for work around 4 or 5 am and then is usually gone till about 5 or 6pm. I try to nap in the day but im a light sleeper and its very difficult to put baby down so I can try sleep

Where is his dad? Have him stay up so you can get some sleep.

@fakoffyeh no, noone i know would be willing to take on that commitment theyve all gone through it with their own kids and moved on past the baby stage and have their own lives

@hockeymomx2 yea im not gonna go for adoption i was right i wouldn't be able to do it thats why i didnt when he was born but all these sleepless nights are getting to me like 9 hours of sleep in 82 hours was killing me thats like being awake for three days im just so tired i was looking for an out

Try putting him in daycare and start working. Would probably be good for both of you. Please seek help before you put him up for adoption.

@fakoffyeh no theyre not up for it

@fakoffyeh they have jobs

@fakoffyeh i agree thats a good idea but its not an option

Adoption could be a good option for you, you should look into what the process is in choosing the right family.

@caiticat., I just noticed that reading through these comments. How frustrating.

@avianlouiebos Why is that the only thing you'll reply to? So many people have tried to help you.

@avianlouiebos, The point being made is we all care, and those types of feelings need to be dealt with. We are all moms, and we’ve all struggled that’s normal in life. All anyone wants you to do is seek out some help. You will likely feel a ton better. Your never alone, and there’s people who care that your doing ok!

@beakymcspence yea I posted i felt like i wanted to cut but there was no threat noone was in danger and i never said i wanted to kill or end my life, and i never tried to blame this app for the police showing up i simply stated someone from this app called the police on me which is the truth never saidit was anybody's fault but mine

@avianlouiebos, You can say what you wish, but before you changed your screen name you posted about this, and I’m not the only one who remembers. You also posted on April 29th about wanting to cut yourself.

@beakymcspence um no not what happened

@avianlouiebos, Yes you threatened to hurt yourself in a post, then the next day came on here trying to blame the app for why the RCMP showed up at your house at midnight.

@beakymcspence um what? I never threatened to kill myself never have tried to kill myself and never plan to try kill myself

Everyone here has said anything that can be brought up. You’ve clearly been struggling for a while as you were threatening to kill yourself on here and the RCMP came to your home.

You make all these posts and people try to help you, and you either argue or don’t listen.

Clearly your struggling and as a nurse I urge you to get help, because whether these are your true feelings or your doing all this for attention you need to help yourself.

@fitmomma93 autism at 4 months?

You have to remember that your son is not "out to get you". He is not trying to irritate you, he is a baby. He needs you. I think it's clear that you haven't build a connection with your baby... Your post makes me very sad, it's not normal to have those thoughts. Either you are a troll or you need to get help like everyone else is saying. :(

Another thing he could possibly have autism. Go to a doctor who will listen. And ask for Zoloft as well

I comment on almost every one of your posts saying the same thing. You need to talk to a professional. You need a break. Find someone to watch him for a couple hours so you can rest. If you have nobody to watch him pay a damn baby sitter.

As far as adoption..I think of you we’re going to do it the time would have been right after birth. You may have a hard time being a mom but I’ve seen posts on here from you about him doing things and your proud. You love that child. It’s not fair to him to take him away from the only people he’s ever known and throw him into an entirely different home and family bit he’s your child and it’s ultimately your decision. But do your research. Take your time. Don’t rush into anything.

I can't add anything here they hasn't already been talked about. But girl...you NEED to seek help. You've been told time and time again, you've mentioned you know you do all the damn time. So please, just do it already. Don't blame your child for how YOU feel. He loves you are you are his mother. Yes, days and nights are rough as they are, but when you are in denial about seeking help they can feel so much worse.

I've been there and done that and once I finally got help and was put on the medication I needed, my world and bond with my kids did a complete 180.

I don't know your backstory if your pregnancy was accidental or if you were actively trying, but you can't give him up and give up on him. That's completely selfish and unfair for you to not want to do the work but still be there 10% of the time. It reminds me of dead beat parents, and of my own father. You are not a dead beat though and from the way you talk you sound like you have a strong support system at home, your parents. You need to take the first step and open up to them.

Honestly, I dunno if you're just trying to get people to comment or what. I've suggested things a few times now. But, you're not gonna give him up for adoption because you're tired and want to sleep. Ask your family for help. There's no shame in that! I'm sure they'd love to take him so you can sleep and relax. Call health link and they can get you in contact with someone to talk to about how you're feeling. There's no shame in that either!! So many women would love to be a mommy but can't. Enjoy him! Even on the hard days. It will get better!!

Did you ever call your fam doctor to give you a referral to a pediatrician??

Being a young mom is definitely a challenge. But we get passed it. I'm speaking from experience. You had sex young got pregnant kept the child now is not the time to be selfish because thinking giving up the baby is a better decision for you because you think its too hard. please call your doctor or actually talk to someone about it before you regret it. Your not thinking clearly.

Is there someone that can watch the baby so you can get a tiny break so you can think clearly?

Please please reach out to a health professional. I wish I lived just a bit closer so I could help you out. Having a baby isn’t easy. It’s a lot of work and if you’re young then it can even be worse. Living with the resentment of friends having freedom. Please talk to someone. Ask for help. Talk to your mom about your feelings. See if she can help you. If you need to talk don’t hesitate to message me.

Rocking chair moves, dark room, Blank stare, melancholy doom, Holding babe, lanky arms, Tear falling, first do no harm.

Rock forth, rock back,

Losing grip, feeling slack,

Beautiful girl, pudgy cheeks,

Trying to hold close, feeling so weak.

Told you’ll be okay, trying to believe,

Closing your eyes, just feeling grief,

Slipping fingers, baby girl falling,

Quickly catching her, still bawling,

Fixated spot, empty wall, A big void, emotional overhaul, Losing the battle, giving up, Hating the child, yet still in love.

Months gone, still feel alone, Trying to find happiness, trying to feel whole, Body raped, pill after pill, Combinations played, climbing that hill, Happy eyes stare, filled of ocean blue, Trying to love, holding and hugging you,

Dormant smiles, buried deep,

Hiding my pain, inside I weep,

Hour glass runs out, flipped once again, Feeling less zombie, gaining control of my head,

Hearing you laugh, seeing you crawl, Suddenly amazed, Inhaling it all, “The sun is shining,” I say holding you, “Let’s go out and observe,” just us two,

We both stare in awe, you at the sky,

Me taking deep breaths, pushing your first year to the side,

The rocking chair still sits, alone and bare, Room still darkens, my mind is not there, Now cradling you, swaying side to side, I’ll never leave you, my baby girl, my pride.

@shayybear I've tried to help her. I've tried being nice. And unfortunately it's not just about her anymore. And if she's not willing to grow up and do what she has to do than the baby should just be taken from her. It shouldn't be a choice.

@mommy1991 but she's not you. And it affects everyone differently. So instead of using your experience to judge her, keep it to yourself. Depression Isn't an exact science and isn't as easy as someone saying "buck up" and you magically feel better.

@shayybear no it's not. She realises she's in a bad state of mind. She only talks about it in every single post. And for her to neglect that fact and to keep on going through life like that is wrong. Telling your doctor is all you have to do. Any doctor for that matter. They warn you about it before you give birth. I live with anxiety and depression and I have for years. I've had thoughts of suicide and I've thought about how to end my life. Depression didn't make me stupid. I realized that my thoughts were wrong and if I didn't do anything about it I wouldn't be around much longer. So I BUCKED UP and I did what I had to do. I didn't have a child then. I probably would have done something about it much sooner if I did. So please don't tell me about what's hard and what isn't. I know it's hard. It's not impossible.

Is there a reason you don't want to talk to your doctor? They won't judge you. They've seen it all before and know how to help.

Over and over again these women tell you what you need but you skim over the comments and don't actually absorb what were saying. you need help for your ppd but you never seek help. Hes your baby. You grew him, your his mother. He crys because he loves you close so he can hear your heartbeat. Your all he has in the world. For the love of God. The only way i would give my children up is if i died. Having a newborn is hard for everyone but when you look at there face its so so worth it. Your son will grow up thinking you regret and hate him. Im telling you, once you get help your viewpoint changes drastically.

@mommy1991 If she's suffering from ppd it'd be a little hard to "buck up".

I suggest talking with a therapist.

Maybe a part time job to get some socializing and get out of the house.

First babies are tough, we're adjusting to the crazy hours and it's hard. Push through because it can get better.

You had a baby too young. You're not done being a kid. But the problem here is that when you could have done this before you brought him home and had him connect with you, you're doing this now. Do you have any idea how unfair that is to him. You're the one that brought him into this world. He didn't ask for it. So it's time to buck up and be strong enough to go out and get help so that you can be a good mom to your SON. Popping in and out of his life isn't better.

Reach out for help. This is not a decision to take lightly. Speak to your doctor

Please try to get mental health help before you just give up on your baby. You have ppd please seek help mama you’ll feel much better.

Its becoming very clear to me that the problem might be your mental health. You really should share this with your dr.

Do your parents see their grandchild at all? Do they help out?

I’m a birth mom. You will regret it to the day you die. Believe me. Seek therapy.