So I've been thinking about this for a while. Definitely more so after the last chemo treatment and after the email from…
So I've been thinking about this for a while. Definitely more so after the last chemo treatment and after the email from my doctor with all my questions answered, I believe I have came to a decision. As hard as this is for me to say I've decided no more treatment. With as hard this last round was on me mentally and physically I can't do it. I asked my Dr. What my outcome look like if I continue treatment and he said 6 months with how my body is handling everything. So I asked what does it look like if I stop treatment? 3 to 6 months Maybe. So with that not being that big of a help I need to start focusing on quality of time instead of quantity. I can't take hearing my little girl cry after my treatment because she just wants her mommy. But Mommy is just too tired and sick. I need to try to make positive memories stick in her little head. I felt like I was giving up before I got the answers for my Dr but now I feel like this is the right decision. I would do anything to be able to change this outcome but I can't. I'll be doing everything in my power so that my babies know I love them with all my soul. I've already got them a couple of Hallmark recordable books. I've already started pre-buying birthday cards. And I need to crack down on making the videos for the big life moments. But every time I try to start I end up sobbing uncontrollably. Holy crap if I could drive I would be at daycare right now getting my babies cuz I can sure use their love right now.
sweetsap·
This is hard to read and uplifting at the same time. Take a lot of pictures, and print them, even if it's not one of your good days. Your kids will remember you were strong and always smiled through you're storm. Cry in the videos anyway, you're human and you hurt, and then finish the videos, your children will learn that they too can press through tears to accomplish goals. There's so much they are going to learn from you in these times :) I wish you peace and joy.
Yay for summer vacation :) a few good months for a few good things
Mary 🌟·
I'm a total stranger yet I'm crying. Make those videos for your children even if it's through tears. I'm sure one day they will understand. I'm sending you a huge virtual hug 💕