I haven't read all the replies but skimmed over the one where you said he performed very well last year.

Children often need to plateau after making lots of progress. Academic progress isn't consistent- he might need a bit of time to consolidate all that he has learnt and achieved previously before putting in more effort again.

All privileges are taken. TV, friends over, and any other privileges we see see fit. Extra reading and work that he is having a hard time with.

Of course this is just if it's a bad grade from being lazy, not if there is a true learning issue.

do they know how to study? this might not be a discipline issue.

relying on homework and classroom time may have been enough when they were younger, but now that they're 10, school exams probably require them to set aside extra time to learn content and skills to get their a's. i.e. studying.

i would suggest sitting down with them an hour a day and teaching them how to practise their algebra, take notes, read textbooks. you might find that they just don't yet know how to study because before this they didn't need to. homework is simply not enough to score well once you're older. when they feel empowered they won't omit the fact that they have a test at the end of the week.

My brother started struggling the most around that age, mostly with English and spelling. Turns out he had dyslexia, and he also needed glasses. My parents felt terrible for punishing him for years before that for his "slow decline".

Anyway, reward seems to work best until the mid-teen years from what I have noticed and pp have said. I love the $2-5 per week, it's not only teaching them to work for what they get but also teaching them money management and how it can add up quickly overtime!

My parents came up with extra assignments in what ever we were lacking. We also loss all privileges until the grades were up. And their assignments were completed. This started as 1st grade and continued til graduation.

And if you failed failed the class (anything below 73% their standards

School falling was 59% and below) your summer was spent in assignments.

Thanks! That makes much more sense and makes me feel a lot better about it. I'll get to brainstorming!

LOL! Oh, OP, I'm so certain you're doing an amazing job with your kids and you'll figure out how to overcome this hurdle.

You might be able to adjust the incentives to include non-material rewards... special movie night with mom & dad after sisters are asleep on the weekends, trip to the park, extra story at bedtime, getting to pick a night of dinner... just a couple ideas, it would really depend on what your kid and your family likes to do.

I have done a lot of thinking about incentives causing materialism, and came to the conclusion I personally don't have a problem with prize incentives as long as the work equals the reward. In an ideal world, all kids would be responsible for the sake of bettering themselves, but then I think... how many adults would keep going to work every day and giving it their all if they weren't receiving a paycheck? I think incentives for school help kids *initially* want to try harder, but like I said before, from my own experience... once they start seeing what happens when they try to their full potential on a consistent basis, they start doing it not only for the material rewards but because they like the other benefits of being a A student. My youngest kid wrote me a card on my last day as his nanny. He didn't thank me for all the Friday treats or even make mention of them, but he did thank me for helping him believe in himself, for teaching him better study habits, and for helping him be more confident at school (my heart exploded reading that).

To me, rewards are a tangible way to help them achieve the intangible.

My mom homeschooled us for a few years. For the younger boys, much as other posters have suggested, rewards worked better than punishment to get the work done.

We had a "treasure chest" (my mom being the creative soul she is literally got a pirate chest and decorated it) with toys, snacks, and other goodies in it, at the end of the week if all work was done & satisfactory, we'd get a treasure :)

When I was a freshman in high school I stopped doing my work and didn't care about my grades so clearly they went down. I was made to sit at the table with one of both of my grandparents until I was done and they had gone over my work. I also lost the privilege of going out with my friends and I couldn't go into my room to watch tv. I had to watch what they were watching or nothing at all. I had to go to bed at 9 and I would also get my phone taken away until the next quarter grades came out. There was one point I stopped doing so much that I got my phone taken away for a full year.

I could try that too - I just sometimes struggle with not wanting him to think money is everything. I also have a hard time rewarding for responsibility. Right now, his responsibility is doing well in school and TRYING. It's very obvious when he is and isn't trying and I usually adjust parenting tactics accordingly.

Maybe I'm overthinking it but I don't want my kids to think there is always a material reward for doing what they're supposed to do. I'm trying to raise them to be good people and to do good things, not so they can get good stuff in return. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

Why is parenting so hard? ? We're molding the future and sometimes I just don't know what's right or wrong. There's 572 blogs and books that will support either argument. LOL!

@OP, do you think short term incentives might work better than long term? Maybe split up what money he would usually get at the end of a marking period from his report card into weekly incentives, like $2-5 a week if all goes well. Then if his report card is all A's too, you can choose to surprise him with a "bonus" too, but it might help keep his mind focused on what matters (NOT TV! Lol, I pray I can manage that issue in my own home when the time comes) in the meantime.

@Avery I love the toy basket idea. I might even wrap them, since the element of surprise is super fun for kids that young. I also think the realistic expectations you've set (3/5 days, instead of perfection) is smart. Can't wait to hear how it goes!!!

Honestly, I've been so anti-screens lately but he loves it. I'm this close to getting rid of everything. It creates too much strife and when they can't watch TV or play with the iPad, something amazing happens - they play together... AND actually get along! My husband and I have been trying to shift screen time from a punishment to a reward. So, once he does homework, he can watch some TV or play games. When my girls clean their room or go the morning being helpful to one another, I'll let them watch a show.

My oldest would live and breath mine craft and stupid Nickelodeon shows if I didn't have limits. Aside from a Nintendo 3DS, he doesn't have any of his own electronics. No phones, no computers, no iPod touches. He can use mine under supervision for an allotted time.

We also gave him the incentive of $5 for every A he brings home on his report card, plus a $20 bonus if he gets all A's. We didn't set prices for B's but maybe I'll do $2 each. He's 10 so his incentive right now is money so he can buy what he wants.

With my oldest, a perfectionist, I try to help him back off himself enough to be okay with a struggle. He falls apart over a bad test. I try to let him know that we all struggle with something and that is okay. I want him to realize there will be more D's in his future, and he needs to be able to cope and learn from them.

My middle guy, however, is a total slacker. He puts in minimal effort and will not take responsibility for the grades this produces. Since he likes to make excuses like how hard it is (which is actually not likely in his case), I add extra practice into his nightly routine until his grade improves. This is usually reading. You don't get better without practice, after all. He hates the extra homework, so it is about two weeks or so and suddenly he's able to bring home A's on all his assessments ?.

Let me know how it goes, @Avery! I hope it helps. ?

Almost 9. She's in a phase like well I notice most of my friends can watch tv and play video games, not clean their room etc all the time..why can't I as well..lol.

When she gets home I don't make her start homework..no she needs time first to unwind and what not..but then she just wants to stay in that mode. I'm very lenient but I will take a different approach if you're taking advantage of it though.

Op you literally described my oldest. Lol. Just recently I've given less tv/electronic time and more reading/activity time because she can't seem to focus on anything else once school is out....trust and believe it's working. Absolutely no electronics(some tv is ok but I mean no video games/iPad, friends coming over etc) till the weekend. She's literally fell in love with books all over again. Basically there's a time and place for everything. Works for us. Even in discipline I still always show love and patience. She's understanding that there's more to life than just free time.

No electronics. No friends. No fun. Extra study in whatever subject they seem to failing in, more reading ect. Have them write every homework that is due and future tests in their planner. Have teacher initial planner. And email me as well.

I would first try to find out why they are not trying. Have you asked him or her why? Sometimes it could be that they need one on one. I would give them a chance to improve before I punished and I would talk to them at that age they are old enough to understand. But if after that they still don't improve or I don't see effort put forth I'd take away electronics or what ever they enjoy most.

I also realized spelling was one of his more challenging subjects, and that's why he kept the test from me. I don't know if that's your son's issue too, but if so, I found breaking up the list to be more manageable and less stressful for him. For example, if he had 30 words, we would do 10 Monday, 10 Tuesday, 10 Wednesday. I'd have him write each word 3x, then we do a "spelling bee". He hated writing them at first, until he realized he learns faster that way and we can finish studying sooner. Thursday we would make a game to review them all.

This would depend on your parenting style to begin with, and I don't have my own children, but I was a nanny/tutor for 10 years. Worked with a lot of different children with different abilities. I found incentives to be more helpful than punishments. With their parent's permission, I implemented a "Friday treat" if and ONLY if they gave 100% to school all week (in the classroom and especially out). My 12 year old lost his Friday snack one week for the same reason your son is in trouble... "failed to mention" a spelling test and he bombed it. He was so sad when his older brother got his Friday treat for doing well all week and he didn't, but he didn't "forget" to tell me about another test all year.

When his parents hired me, those two boys had straight C's and sometimes even worse. They were wonderful kids but punishments didn't work. After working with me for a year on the incentive system, they were A students. The best part was once they became A students, the treats I gave them honestly started to mean less than the A itself. They were so proud of themselves, they didn't want to go back to where they were.

He's not allowed screen time before homework is done. Normally he comes home, eats a snack, we talk about his day, he hangs out with his sisters for a bit and then we do homework. His only extra curricular activity is soccer and that's only one night a week and games on Saturdays.

I'm all for having him unwind before school work but I don't want him to get out of the mindset before school work is done. That was the biggest crutch for him which we found early on was that once he lost focus, he was done for. Once his "school" mentality was gone for the day, there was no getting it back.

No screen time until homework/studying done. And if bad grades continue no screen time on school nights and possibly cutting out extra curricular activities that interfere with studies.

That's a good idea! I'll make one. For now, for the lying, I've grounded him because that's unacceptable. I also told him I will look into some more exciting ways to study spelling so it isn't as mundane.

I think having him keep a calendar, where he writes down when he has tests will help. Let him know that you will be double checking it and you expect that he fills it in each week.

When I was young my parents will take away all my electronics and leave strictly books in my room and make me study longer

Hmmm. What was the kid doing instead of hw. Im not saying a parent should do the kids hw but if hes playing video games and grades arent good...in my house the game system is gone, girls on social media...the only wall would be the one in her room. Discipline when it comes to grades isnt a once a year punishment. Its a hey your grades arent the best you can do, investigate why and punish accordingly. Lack of motivation...have them shadow a mcdonalds employee for a week...job and home...they will run back to class.

We do his homework together most nights. If it's an easier assignment, I'll let him do it on his own and then we check it together.

His first few years of school were a struggle. He was really trying, he just didn't get it. We got him enrolled in a early intervention program and we had regular meetings with his teacher, principle, and his PALS teacher.

Then in 3rd grade, he finally started to improve and it all finally clicked (most people told me this is how it is with boys). His reading comprehension sky rocketed and he started to do exceedingly well. We've continued working so hard with him to keep him up to speed and last year he was on the honor roll twice.

This year, his grades have been just average. He's been back in school for 3 weeks so I was giving him the benefit of the doubt adjusting to school - but he brought home a 32% on a spelling test. This is just him simply not trying. We did his homework every night but he failed to mention (i.e. lied) that he had a spelling test at the end of the week, so he never studied.

I asked him why he didn't tell me because we would have worked on it together, he just said that since it wasn't a "homework assignment", he simply didn't do it.

These are reasons why I feel it's punishable. Lying, or leaving out truths, and blatant lack of trying.

Summer school threats... Lol always worked for me.

But if it's all classes then something is wrong. Child is being picked on. Memory issues, maybe needs glasses.

But if one or 2 classes they might just need extra help in that area. Also, kids are being way over worked/stimulated. Way too much to take in all the time.

My parents just tool everything away and made us stay in our room don't play do nothing but read books. We couldn't sociallize with any family that came over and we had to go to be at our bed time on weekends. It made me a book worm and I was miserable.

I wouldn't discipline my child for bad grades, but try to find the root of the problem. Once I find the reason he got bad grades in the first place, I would try to talk with them and guide them. Maybe get him some tutoring or sit with him when he does homework. Get him to do fun educational activities with me. Sometimes just a little bit of tender loving care can do the trick.

A designated time to sit and do homework and study. It needs to be a quiet place, like a comfortable desk or table. No distractions. Maybe having your child set up a homework station may help them get exited about it. Stock it with supplies and snacks for them to eat while they work. Soft music helps some kids concentrate. Look up Gary lamb. He composes music for brain stimulation. The beats are meant to help calm and stabilize breathing. I used to play it for my high school kids and they would magically get quiet. Next figure out why they won't try. Many times, kids act that way because they are just lost and don't understand the material. Set up a conference with the teacher as well.

For that age group I think parents still need to assist the child in learning discipline by sitting down and taking time to study. Then they may be more in tune with any extra help lo may need and it won't as likely get to the point of low grades. After a snack or dinner and some free time at home after school (because they need some downtime to catch their breath), I would say no electronics or fun things until homework is done

We would try different things with ds, like setting specific homework times and checking it. We also bought a huge planner calendar for the wall, so he could write the week's agendas and things that are due. I also ended up emailing his teachers at one point to see how he was doing, why he was struggling, and to see what assignments were due, test dates, etc lol. It worked.

I don't have a school aged child yet, but I would take away all electronics, and I'd be making them sit at the table to study, and do fun activities to help them learn the subject(s) they're struggling with.

Where is homework and studying done?

If they have the privilege being alone during the time then they lose it. Homework must be done in the room with you.

I would say no phone or friends till grades went up.