19 kids & counting
So I had no idea they only allow their older children to text if they (the parents) are included in a group text. So they are allowed to see everything their children talk about with their boyfriend/girlfriends. And they are only allowed to have a private phone call for an hour each night.
I am very secure in how I raise my kids, however that doesn't negate the fact that regardless of how well you raise them...their brains are literally immature. The frontal lobes are not fully connected which is the part of the brain that in adults says " is this a good idea? What is the consequence of this action?" They lack the myelin that allows nerve signals to flow freely so their brain communication is slow and inefficient. I trust a teenager about as far as I can throw them. Not because they are bad...but because of the very nature of what it means to have a teenagers brain.
My daughter is going to be raised to know better & desire more for her life than just boys & relationships. I'm planning on being open about my life, & my mistakes to try to help her to understand that it's not worth it & she's more valuable than what a man sees of her. She will have her privacy but she will be expected to have morals & be modest. I plan on having an open relationship with her so she's comfortable coming to me about anything, & not be scared to tell me or trying to hide it becos I'm so strict.
I think if that's how they want to raise their children, then more power to them.
If you're that strict with your children, you must not be very secure in the way you raised them.
I know a girl who her parents gave her full control of her life at 16. She's 29 and a virgin, her and her boyfriend are waiting until marriage and they don't drink or anything. If you raise your child the right way, you should be able to trust your children.
Honestly, the Duggars are horrible examples of Christians. If you actually research them and their beliefs out, you will see so much hypocrisy and explotation. They are heavily involved with ministries who have had sex scandals (Doug Phillips, Bill Gothard). I think in the beginning their show meant well, but they have a LOT of secrets. And the fact that their children aren't allowed to go to accredited state schools and be adults before being expected to marry is scary. I don't support them. People can say they are harmless, but if you really research what they believe it is full of hate for the LGBT community. Josh, their oldest works for FRC who have messages against anyone who isn't Christian.
I used to love the Duggars, until I researched their belief system and their acquaintances. I can't with good conscious support them now.
They are part of the Quiverfull movement and also believe in the Pearls way of discipline and family life. It just saddens me that those kids have no choices.
If you want more info, Google "ATI Duggars" "the pearl family duggars" etc.. There is plenty of info out there about them.
Sorry, but they are a subject I feel strongly about having been a part of a church and in a relationship with someone who thought like they do. It is not pretty.
I get that those are their beliefs, but I'm pretty much against this level of indoctrination of kids. Their minds are so closed, and their children so controlled and sheltered. I want my children to be thinkers and to live their own lives, chose their own paths. I wonder how many of their 19 will feel capable of doing so.
I won't be this strict with my kids when they reach dating age but the idea of them not being alone with their bf/gf is not a terrible idea!!! So many kids loose there virginity so young (i was one of them at 13) and a lot end up pregnant and are only babies themselves! So if they have someone with them at least you know they won't being have sex and getting pregnant!
In don't trust the sibling chaperone thing. That's what my sister & I were supposed to be for each other but instead it was more like you don't tell on me and I won't tell on you. If we thought the other was doing something we shouldn't we would talk to each other about it but didn't go to our parents.
I don't really watch the show, I've seen a few episodes. Like I said, they're awesome parents but I really think kids ( at a certain age of course) need privacy and such. I'm definitely not enabling my children to have sex or giving them a chance to, but man... They are so strict, it's crazy.
I'm waiting for one of their children to rebel and come out to say that they also do other extreme things. I think they are unusual but if it works for them...
It would not work for me. I'd go crazy in that family. Then again, my thought process would be different if I were raised in that family...
I wouldn't do this, but when my son has a cell phone and he is living under my roof, I will reserve the right to look at his texts whenever I feel I need too. same goes for Facebook & other social media. I feel everyone requires some amount of privacy and trust, and I want to give that to my son. Like I said though, if I feel it is warranted, he will be expected to let me see his stuff if I feel it's required.
The reason I wouldn't do what the Duggar's do is because I don't live the same lifestyle or have the same beliefs as them. Given their belief system, I feel the texting/phone call policy is fair.
Transgender children
So I just learned that in my kids school district (my kids aren't in school yet my oldest will be starting kindergarten next September) there are twin boys who identify as girls. They are 5 years old. What's your opinions on this matter given they are 5!!! I don't believe that at that age they really understand the whole thing. So the entire school had to take a course on how to handle transgender children. For example they can't say girls go this or boys do that. What are...
Do you think step parents should be allowed to spank step children?
So the Republicans are trying to pass bill that allows husbands to beat their wife and children if it's for a religious reasons. this is what's wrong with america.
Collections
Do you, your SO or children collect any items?
Quick question: If your district waivers get approved for the children to do hybrid learning? Will you allow your children to attend back to school?
I don't think that enforcing strict rules means you don't trust your children. Teenagers have a lot of hormonal changes that they may not always be able to control. (Heck, I'm 27 and pregnant and going through hormonal changes that I can't always control...hubby doesn't seem to mind...) Not allowing them to be in a position where they will be tempted (such as allowing them to be alone with bf/gf) can help them to remain level headed and avoid anything they'll later regret.
The Duggars are more strict than I would be. I personally probably wouldn't be THAT strict. I wouldn't have a problem with my children hugging their bf/gf or even maybe pecking on the cheek after they been dating a while and are older teens, but there's no reason that teens need to be completely alone unless they have intentions of doing something they wouldn't otherwise do in front of others.
As far as the phone stuff, I agree with Squishy. When they are old enough to get a job and pay for it themself, they are more than welcome to get one. Until then, they can use the house phone, JUST LIKE I HAD TO lol and having a cell phone will not imply that their conversations are any more private. Just like I wouldn't be secretive with my cell phone with them, I would expect an open and honest situation with their phone too.
I believe in giving your kids some privacy, but not to the point where I don't know what's going on. No, I'm not going to go snooping through my future teenage girl's diary, but you better believe I will enforce my right to look at her phone anytime I please.