Why Did My Roommate Enter Our Room Without Knocking?

I agree, he is being passive aggressive because you don't live there, yet think you can dictate how everything is organized, you move his stuff when he isn't there, you re-arrange and get pissed off if he changes it. Stop touching his things, stop dictating how community things, like pots and pans should be organized. When it's your house you can do that, but it's not. Lock the door when you sleep, but otherwise, stop hanging out, cleaning, using utilities that you don't pay for and work on getting your own place with your boyfriend.

Bottom line is if you don't pay the rent and don't live there you have zero say. If you don't like it don't go over there. Here you so would be in trouble because he is violating the lease by having 2 people stay over who are not on the lease. They would definitely pursue the change or eviction here.

I would be upset about him coming into the room, because even if you are just staying there as the girlfriend, your SO deserves privacy and respect from his roommate. However, ALL the other stuff you've complained about on here regarding the roommate is really unfair of you. I used to live with a roommate and her boyfriend stayed there rent free. I was totally fine with it because he was cool and never felt entitled to anything. I would have been really annoyed if he complained about me messing up MY Tupperware in MY cabinet. That's pretty ridiculous.

You need to get your own place. He lives there, you don't. End of story. Stop intruding, because you ARE. No matter what your BF says, you aren't on the lease. You don't pay bills. If you want to play house, get your OWN house.

Just like you my ex, 1yr old DS at the time stayed in a two bedroom renting with a really close friend, we weren't on the lease although my ex & I payed half for everything. I'd complain constantly about all the petty little things well I don't have OCD & the Tupperware or whichever did not have to be a certain way (no offense). After about four months I literally couldn't stand it, constantly complained etc. we saved up & got our place which you really should just do! Like everyone else said though you really aren't so much entitled to an apartment which isn't yours..

You sound very entitled to an apartment that's not yours, it's not even "y'alls". I CAN'T STAND when girls call the things their SO worked hard for and got on their own "ours". It does not belong to you, it doesn't even belong to your SO because he's renting it. Quit touching the roommates stuff. He pays and works hard to live there and has been nice to you regardless of how controlling you sound. I understand you wanting privacy and a clean space, because that's important to me as well, but if you want that so bad get a job BEFORE the baby comes and work hard while you can so you guys can move.

Your OCD tendencies and anxieties are your problem, not the roommate. You have to remember that not everyone is bothered to the point of tears for unorganized Tupperware.

You make a lot of posts complaining about him yet you don't live there. It's your So's roommate and I'm sure he's got a right to be annoyed your always there yet your not paying any of the bills. Have your so move out and move in with you or stop complaining. I wouldn't be happy if I had a roommate and their So was staying there 24/7 that's rude he didn't sign up to have 2 roommates.

What if the poor guy is on some other social media site complaining about his roommate's girlfriend's excessive stays ??

Honestly, I lived with roommates and one of them decided his girlfriend needed to stay there constantly, rent free, and then she would complain about things we did in OUR apartment. I found it rude, it was OUR apartment, we paid rent, we paid bills..she didn't, as simple as that. I wouldn't be surprised if he's just a little fed up that he's got to share his space with a pregnant girlfriend that isn't his, who doesn't even live there, since I'm assuming that's not what he signed up for. Sounds like he has no privacy at all if he sleeps in the living room? why should someone who doesn't even belong there have more rights than he does? I'm not saying I don't understand where you're coming from, but I do think you should look at this from his perspective. If you stayed in my cramped apartment that I pay rent for and you don't for over a week straight, I'd be pretty annoying as well. Of course your SO feels you belong there, but just because the lease is in his name doesn't mean his roommate doesn't deserve any say at all about the place he pays to reside.

why don't you just stay home when so not there and he probably didn't wanna wake you that time of morning for a bag no matter what's in it its his and have a right to it ..why didn't you guys just put it in his room or left it in the hallway by his door and he maybe wasn't even paying attention to you to know if you were in your undies so you so checking him maybe offended him also how long have you been staying there he's maybe use to just sleeping on the couch before you and it wasn't a problem for your so so he continued to do so

Why the heck does he even need wrestling stuff at 4am?!? I'd be so pissed. lol. I like, never swear, ever...except if you wake me up in the middle of the night for stupid things. ? I've been through a good 5 years of having roommates in my college days, and have a lot of stories lol, but thankfully never had someone come into my room regularly or in the middle of the night for stuff.

Tupperware

@dancer, we're trying to, trust me. It's just getting old. It's hard for SO because that's his best friend. But he's a slob and has no respect. I can literally spend 30-45 minutes trying to organize one the cabinets because the tubbleware (don't know how to spell it) wouldn't fit without being organized a certain way and then he'll mess it up and not fix it, same with the pots and pans. I spent an hour yesterday trying to figure out how to make fixing the tubbleware cabinet, and then he comes in and ruins it. He literally tore the cabinet apart and I had to redo it today since I was too upset to yesterday. I cried because I respect his stuff and I always make sure that I put it on his bed if the ferret tried to get on his stuff and I don't want it to be ruined but can't respect that it took me 3 days to get the kitchen reorganized instead of the clutter everywhere and it was just thrown in the cabinet and he can't at least put stuff back? I really don't hate the guy, I really don't I hate his habits.

@mama we put everything in the hallway closet and told him, even sent a picture of where I put his wrestling gear. We even told him his stuff is in the organizers I bought so nothing is cluttered before I even came over so his stuff wouldn't be thrown in the closet, because I'd feel really bad because I know I wouldn't want my stuff to be just thrown in a closet. I even wrote on the organizers what we're in each one.

But SO told me I have a say in the apartment because I spend all day cleaning it, buying stuff that we need around here for him, I buy food not just for me, but all of us. I told Brian before that I eat certain things because really picky. I even told him it'll all be in a separate cabinet (SO assigned me the cabinet for the exact reason) so please don't go in there. Even when I go in my cabinet, I offer to share some of what I'm having but that's rarely. I count my how many things I have because of OCD. I can't have 5 cans of spaghettios, I have to have four. If no one is home, I put it in the other cabinets. So I know if I have something missing because of an odd number. But his room mate spilled stuff in the fridge one day and never picked it up and SO freaked, because I spent two hours scrubbing the fridge out not even 3 days after and now it was sticky. Even though I don't pay the bills, I always make dinner, clean, and take SOs laundry home and wash his clothes. He said as long as I'm in school, take care of our baby and going to college next year, I don't have to pay bills. As long as I'm on track and trying to get my career started, I can stay for free. SO even tells me to go relax if I've been cleaning for a few hours. He knows cleaning is my hobby, he tells me several times its spotless but I always nitpick and point out that a spoon is out of place or the window has to be cleaned because I say a spot on it and have to clean it.

Why don't you just have the roommate move out? I think soon you will have bugger fish to fry when the baby is here and you probably won't stay there anymore because this soubds like a unstable environment for the baby.

@cal were getting key locks instead so we can keep it locked during the day because his rom mate once took his laundry baskets without asking when he has 5 more.

I mean it sucks that he didn't knock but he probably thought he could grab his things from where he put them without waking anyone.

I'm not the type to feel violated because someone saw my undies.

I drive a semi and just the other day at the yard I was changing in my truck and the door opens I continued changing while the dispatcher was talking to me. I mean neither one of us has any type of attraction to each other so no big deal imo.

If you feel violated well that's how you feel

These comments are stupid. Even if you don't pay rent there... Umm who cares ? Your boyfriend clearly does. If your boyfriend was in his own room with his gf (you) then he deserves respect / privacy period. His room mate doesn't have the right to barge into a bedroom that isn't his. That's rude. Especially if he knew you stayed over.

I could see not really having a say in regards to food being eaten, furniture usage, or things like that. However, being woken up at 4 am by his room mate waltzing into their/his bedroom unannounced when she's half naked.....meh, I'd say that's a valid reason to be upset, regardless of if she lives there or not.

Just lock the door at night, I don't see why you need new locks. I think he'll get the hint just fine if the door is locked and he tries coming in lol. Easy fix, no more unwelcome visits, and you can still sleep with no pants!

Me and my SO would lock the door when we were sleeping period in case something happened and some one would walk in. If its his house then its his house. He has a more say than you.

I said we because we basically live together. But SO is trying to get out of the lease earlier than a year. It's SOs apartment. His room mate may live there, but it's not his apartment. SO even told him there's rules here, it's not do whatever you want to do. SO has repeated that a thousand times.

I'm concerned because I'm there 24/7 and he walked in on us sleeping in SOs room while I'm half naked. Wouldn't you feel violated?

Wait I just read the comments.

Lol girl you posted basically a similar post a couple weeks ago and you're going to get the same comments as last time. You don't live there so you get no say honestly. Stay at your own house if you don't like how he carries himself. The walking in does cross the line (I only skimmed) but the rest- he pays bills you don't.

"We"? I thought you don't live there

You don't live there... So why are you so concerned?

Oh ok

Mommy I don't live with SO because not enough space for all of us.

If I were expecting, I would want a place with so w no roommates.

@mommy what do you mean by the roomie stage?

I mean other than anything he's a great guy but doesn't think before asking of doing things ?. We're trying to get him to move out, the apartment is in SOs name and his friend C's name. SO said if we have to, we'll tell him straight up when my apartment is finished and the people who live in it moves out (attached to my dads house). That he can't come with us. But he doesn't know we're only staying there until we save up money to buy a bigger apartment for our little family. Our lease is up in less than a year, so we can get through it.

Your SO should have a talk w him so he knows exactly what is and isn't acceptable. It sounds like you and your so have grown out of the roomie stage though..

ETA: I thought all three of you were roommates. Well I would talk to your so about moving into a place for you two once his lease is up.