Birth Plan Rant I used to be all about getting an epidural, but after research and thinking about it more I want to have…

Thanks for the advice, seriousstrawberry! I really do want the full experience and I want to feel everything and feel in control. I'm well aware it will really suck, but I also know it will be over before I know it! And be worth it.

So I wanted unmedicated but because my water broke before contractions started, they were too intense to handle. I wish I didn't get it because it did slow my labor immensely. I got it because I was panicked but I started getting a control of my breathing and positioning like right before I got it. I think I'd I just stuck through another half hour, maybe gotten in the tub, I would have been able to go without it. I tore when he came out and I think I could have avoided that if I birthed in the position I wanted, which was a squat. Don't give in right away. Try different positions to give your contractions a little relief, control your breathing, focus on a pattern or your partner or mom or friend or whatever, get in the tub, walk around, grab a hand, etc.

Before epidurals they used to get women drunk. No joke. It would help them relax so the baby came down the canal faster and wasn't so painful. They did that for years and years. They also died during childbirth bc of bp going off the charts and putting the baby at risk. So yes women have been having babies without epidurals but lots of time they still had booze on hand. Just saying. And earlier I didn't say you weren't tough you just assumed that. If you're on here and especially if this is your first baby than people who have been through it are probably going to voice their concerns.

I like how this post is about how annoying people are when they shame you for your birth plan choices and then one user goes on and makes passive aggressive blanket statements about mothers who do opt for epidurals. "Much of the attitude toward birth has to do with being misinformed" but yea, people who undermine your birth plan decisions are really annoying, I'll agree.

With all my previous pregnancies I have said I am going to try to go natural but I always end up with the epidural and a healthy baby. I just go in with an open mind.

Here's another link with lots of great citation on the risks of epidural to the process of labor, mom, *and* baby, to add to your read list. I shared it in our birth month group on a recent post. :)

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I think sometimes when people say that, op, they're just trying to be helpful. They're trying to take the pressure off you by saying there's nothing wrong w an epidural. Also, remember that everyone's experience is different. You might be talking to women who had very difficult/ painful deliveries who couldn't imagine going without meds.

Because people suck. It's that simple.

You are correct, plans can change but I think that it's healthy for you as a FTM to express how you would like your labor and delivery to go. I was the same way with my first child. I have an older sister and she got the epidural with her son. I was in nursing school at the time so I was educated enough to understand possible side effects from an epidural. My mentality before labor was set on not getting it. My doctor asked me when I was 37 weeks if I was open to getting an epidural and I said yes. When I tried to discuss my birth plan with him, my doctor said "What plan? The plan is to have a baby and that's it!" I felt a little offended because he didn't hear me out or ask me if I had any questions about labor considering I was a FTM. When I went to the hospital, I was very straightforward of how I wanted my labeling process to go. I didn't want them to offer any meds. If I felt the need for them, I would ask. I was fine till I reach 8cm, screamed for them but it was too late. I had him naturally. I was lucky enough to have a nurse who understood me and supported me. She was awesome! I went on to have baby number 2 15 short months later and he delivered via emergency csection at 28 weeks. It was an intense labor and delivery and I will never be able to have a vaginal delivery due to an internal T cut that was done as last resort when my baby's vitals dropped. That being said, I do not regret the pain that I felt from my first labor. I would love to have another vaginal delivery and I would do it all over again unmedicated if it was deemed safe. Just stick to your guns girl and remember that you're growing a little human so he will have a little mind of his own and can change things. :)

As far as the doula, my sister was my doula with my oldest. It absolutely helped! I went on to finish nursing school and am now a doula myself.

I actually had no idea that epidurals were as common as they were until I came on this app. I'm in Scotland and my local hospital doesn't even offer epidurals as a form of pain control so I've so far had 2 unmedicated births and will be having another in July.

OP - it sounds as though you've got completely the right attitude about this. You are striving for an unmedicated delivery, but do appreciate that your plans may change and you will then have to adapt to this, if and when the time comes. I'd say my pain threshold isn't particularly high, so if I can do it, then the majority of women can ?

I wanted to try to have a natural birth but ended up getting an epidural at 6cm because there were no breaks between my contractions. But that was seriously the worst when I was pregnant people would be like oh you're going to change your mind and get the epidural like could you at least be a little supportive.

I've had all 3 of my kids natural no meds best decision ever. If you can do it do it you won't regret it

I thought this was a really good read.

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And then this lays out the pros and cons ссылка

I just think the cons outweigh the pros. Personally. I will do everything I can to avoid it.

People did this to me too. No one particularly close to me, thankfully. Guess what? I made it through unmedicated while on pitocin! It's definitely doable, but I'll also say, that I absolutely understand why people get epidurals.

I think things may be slightly different here in the U.K. As epidural are far less used here and midwives try to opt for other medications first. I believe it is within the dose they give you. The pethidine is just an injection muscle relaxant which helps towards blocking pain signals to your brain. But it is each person to their own with what you want to do ☺

I didn't have my unmedicated birth for other people, I had it for myself after educating myself on the pros and cons of both a medicated birth and unmedicated birth. Proving everyone wrong was an added bonus. ?

I understand where you're coming from and I believe you chose your decisions for the right reason op.

An unmedicated labor can actually help to facilitate a faster and more progressive labor, since the epidural confines you to your bed and doesn't allow you to help your body in the facilitation of moving the baby down through movement and activity during labor.

I recommend reading or hearing about a wide array of birth stories that were unmedicated, c-sections, epidural, ect. I threw up multiple times during my transistion and the midwife actually made me feel loads better by telling me this was the final act of my body "opening up" to allow baby down and out. Pain is not a scary thing necessarily, but can be a tool.

As I said before, ignore the naysayers and educate yourself on the birthing process as it makes it less scary, look onto doulas and find one you connect with, who has attended unmedicated labors/births, the right one will be indispensable to you.

I wouldn't say try anything but an epidural first...I would opt for an epidural before narcotics. Narcotics are worse for the baby, can lead to respiratory depression and can make you feel high/loopy/out of it, nausea/vomiting....

My first I had in my head I wanted to try for an unmedicated birth however was also open if needed to medication in order of severity (gas and air first, then pethidine and then if really needed epidural)

However I tried to remember everyone and every pregnancy and labour is different, you never know how it will go. I put in my birth plan that I would like a water birth as it is supposed to be relaxing.

But if you're not far enough dilated my hospital will send you home.. so when the time came I stayed at home as long as I could with the pain. Having food/drink at home and just being in my environment to be myself was great.

I then left three hours after labour started for the hospital (20 mins away) got there, I was already 10cm. So she got me admitted straight away on a bed and pushing, my son was born half an hour later ☺ I was then discharged to go home almost five hours after he was born. It was such a positive experience and praying this labour in June will be the same ??

Just always remember you have to do what is right by you, you know your body and your baby better than anyone. I also think if you focus you can do anything, we're built for this ☺ but whether or not you use medication does not make you any less of a mother or birther!

Ziggypig, that's great! I like that I have options too, but I also like going in knowing what I want and doing everything I can to stick to it. People don't understand that's what I am saying. I do agree with Runsyellowlites when she said something along the lines of this sets the tone for future births though, so that is why I at least want to attempt. I think med free is USUALLY safer for mama and baby.

Same boat as you. This is my first and I am 26 weeks. I have been considering going unmedicated. My doctor is actually very supportive of the idea, its friends and family who scoff at me. My brother and his girlfriend are the only who think I can make it. They witnessed me having stitches on my face without anesthesia or pain meds. I know its not the same, but I do know most people can't do that either, that is how high my pain tolerance is.

At the same time, birthing is an entirely different entity. I might be screaming for an relief. I do like to have my options open. My hospital offers a doula and a midwife. You can also do a water birth there. It is why I chose that hospital. So I will have the support people there to help me through unmedicated.

We will see what happens in June.

You continue to dwell on it though. Who cares what people think it's your birth do what you want.

Modom16, yeahhh NO. I don't think you read anything I've written. I originally decided I want to after RESEARCH that made me believe it is better for the baby and myself. I have repeated that. All I have said is that people's negativity is extra motivation to stick to what I originally said I WANTED to do.

I definitely agree that we should be able to talk about these things without judgement or shame. When I said I just didn't talk about it, I should have explained.. people who I didn't want to get into it with, I avoided the topic. But I definitely did talk about it with friends and my mother!

I feel like your motivation is for the wrong reasons. You seem like you're just set on doing it to prove everyone wrong. My birth had nothing to do with anyone else, it was mine and my husbands experience and that's all that matters.

Baby_KJB, Thanks! I think if you really want it then you can do it next time! At least you know what to expect now.

You go girl....

I wanted unmedicated

Heck I wanted to deliver in a birthing center where there were NO MEDS on site at all

But then thought about it and wanted unmedicated at hospital (just in case)

I had two epidurals

But my next I want unmedicated

You got this, kick arse in your unmedicated birth my dear

Cmccallson, I get what you're saying but I also will only feel bad if I don't try to make it happen. I don't think anyone will even remember what I said my birth plan was at that point. If they do, then oh well. I never said there's only one way it can go.

I understand its r&r lol. Im just saying that maybe if it bothers you people aren't supportive about your birth plan then maybe I would just not share it with people unless you know they will be supportive.

Also I understand thinking you will be more likely to follow through with it because you told people you would and want to prove them wrong. You may want to consider the alternative though of you do end up getting the epidural and having to hear people say "oh I told you that you would need it". With pp hormones I'm not sure I would want that. And it sounds like these people are that type.

I don't know what I have learned from two very different births and two very different children is that it's sometimes better to just not share everything because people always have something negative to say. And it's usually always related their own jealousy.

Oh didn't you know, women surely died in labor before hospitals...... nvm the leading cause of maternal death was post partum hemorrhage & midwives carry meds to combat that if needed.... and a pretty common drug often used in labor in hospitals (pitocin) can actually cause it. ??‍♀️ Also, the maternal mortality rate has been on the rise the last 15 years with increased intervention use.

Like I said in my original comment, much of the attitude towards birth has to do with being ill informed.

Carrimel, that book does keep coming up. I need to read it! I am meeting with a doula on Saturday and another on Monday. I figure I should consult with a few before making a decision. See who I feel most comfortable with.

Runsyellowlites, that is ridiculous!! What do they think women did in the old days? There were no birthing centers or hospitals.

I planned a homebirth so I didn't get much flack about me wanting to go unmedicated. People focused more on how I was going to kill my baby by not being in the hospital. ??‍♀️??

Shaina, I think it's an awesome and noble goal. Coworkers did the same thing to me. I read Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth; the first half of the book is *just* birth stories from moms who went unmedicated. It was so, so helpful for me to mentally imagine and prepare myself for all of the stages and possible side effects ahead of time.

All the best to you!!

And there's no reason I should have to keep my desires or my ideal birth plan to myself. I like to put things out there because I know if I say it, I'm more likely to do it. I'm big on following through. And I'm with some of the other ladies, I think the negativity will help me in the end. But it's still annoying, so that's why I'm posting it here.

I also think a lot of women don't know their own strength. We can do anything, including natural and unmedicated birth. Unless there are complications, but if so then it is what it is. I just think it's worth a try.

When people say something I just tell them thanks for their input or just say "we will see" and move on. But this is pregnancy RANTS and raves section so that's why I posted this here :).

And I also never say, I will absolutely 100% give birth this way. I always say "I would LIKE to do it this way and I will try my best." So that's why it gets annoying when people say over and over I will change my mind or to keep an open mind. An open mind is what got me to this point, before I didn't even consider that people could give birth without meds.

My only comment to this is that don't think of your birth plan as the way it's going to go, but rather the IDEAL for you. Because your body and your baby may have very different plans, and unfortunately, what they say goes.

Why can't you just tell the ppl that are judging you that you are offended with their opinion? Then they won't bring it up again.

I was dead set on an unmedicated water birth and anyone that I told, would tell me I was crazy and that I should get an epidural.

Them saying those comments, pushed me that much more to stick to my plan and prove everyone wrong.

I am very happy with my all natural water birth. (:

I was told the same thing. Then when I got induced my mom talked me into an epidural instead of encouraging me to keep going. It will be just Dh and I next time so I'm going to make sure to remind him "If I want to quit, tell me to keep going. Don't let me give up" because the epidural ruined everything about my birth experience last time.

Have you thought about not talking about your birth plan to family and friends?

People are so weird about epidurals!!! I don't get it. I had 2 babies without epidurals and I'd do it again. I felt empowered and was in tune with my body. Let others talk all they want. As long as YOU do what you feel is best, ignore others.

Guess I should add I've done both too...

Medicated labor, cesarean birth (31 hours)

Unmedicated vbac (45 hours)

My unmedicated birth was more manageable, I was in more control (able to move & do what I needed), I was IMMEDIATELY energized as soon as I delivered, and recovery was obviously easier (no reading despite a very fast pushing stage).

It is hard, by it is doable.

Well it was never about proving my "toughness" everyone that knows me knows I'm tough. It's just after research I honestly think natural and unmedicated is best. So why not strive for it if I think I can do it? I'm very stubborn so I really doubt I will ask for meds. Unless I have to have an emergency C section, which I'm sure you have to be on something for lol.

I just know I WILL need the doula to help me stay calm because if not I will probably turn into some kind of demon cursing everyone out lol. I'm not a very nice lady as it is, but even I can see it's rude to try to tell someone how they want to give birth is wrong and that they can't do it.

You are crazy! I've done both. I had an epidural with my first and not my second. I personally wouldn't go without for my first as labor is longer and push time is longer and I tore the first time. I think I'll have an epidural for this 3rd one. I've already proved my toughness with my second. You will have to learn how to keep your blood pressure down when going through contractions bc high blood pressure is really dangerous for baby and with an epidural you don't feel the pain as much so your blood pressure doesn't spike into the danger zone. I'd continue to think about it and go I with a game plan but know that plans change and be open to them. Trust me, I didn't go in planning to be unmedicated but it was too late so I had to just go with the flow and push foran hour ?

I've giving birth to 3 kids already I'm on pregnancy #4 due in 13 days.. And although I got the epidural with all 3 it only worked all the way with #1 ... It is super painful ... I will say keep an open mind cause if you have your heart set on one thing and it doesn't go that way you might feel upset with your self... But if you want to do it with out more power to you! Good luck and I hope everything goes the way you want it to!

Everyone's labor and delivery are different. Some have it easier and some have it harder. I've had both and let me tell you the harder one was a pain like you can't even imagine. But you could be lucky and have an easy one. Just stop talking about it if everyone having an opinion annoys you. Most the time other people are going to think you have no idea what your talking about or doing because your a ftm. It only gets worse after you have the baby, just go with the flow and try not to let it bother you.

I don't have a high pain tolerance and I delivered my 8lb 5oz son without any medication. If you are determined and have strong reasons why you don't want it, you can do it.

I'm not gonna lie, I think I said that to someone before and I hope I didn't offend them. I just had the worst labor with my son and I cannot imagine not having meds but there are people that do. I really wish you the best and I hope your birth plan goes as you hope! I'm positive it'll be hard but your body is made to do it ?

When I got pregnant with ds2 I decided I wanted an unmedicated water birth at a birth center with a midwife and when I told DH and my mom about this plan they literally laughed in my face and told me I was too much of a wuss to ever do it. You know what? I delivered a 8lb 11oz boy 10 days late and after 29 hours of labor and almost had a water birth all with no meds. If you want to do it you can do it! For me the water helped so so much and also as weird as it sounds I hummed my way through contractions, my midwife could actually tell how much closer I was getting by listening to the tone of my humming. My mom acted as my Doula and I would definitely look into one because they're so helpful. Just remember to breath and relax through the contractions because the more you fight it the worse it hurts. You can do this!

I have had 4 unmedicated births. I was told the same. It's painful and you want to give up at some point but it's doable.

Only thing about birth that ever scared me was the thought of something that big coming out of my vagina and ruining it lol. But that doesn't scare me anymore.

Good thing I have an extremely high pain tolerance :). I never use pain meds for anything, even my severe period cramps. Not even a Tylenol. And I can get tattooed for hours and not flinch. I understand birth isn't like anything else (before anyone jumps in saying it doesn't compare), but I do know my threshold for pain is high. Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind in the moment but I have a good feeling I can do it. The supportive people who know me say if anyone can do it, I can because they know how strong I am mentally and physically. I just don't appreciate when people try to tell me what I'm going to decide last minute.

I thought the same thing until I was in labor, having 2 minute contractions with 45 second intervals. They were so bad I was vomiting and going into shock. Epidural saved my life!

Seriously though good luck. I hope you can stick to it! ? I wanted to, but life happened.. literally.

I also stopped telling people. I would only encourage myself, and tell myself I was made to do this.

The recovery is so much easier, pushing is so much faster, because you feel and are in sync with your body, among tons of other benefits.

My own MIL would call me crazy and tell me "what are you talking about, just get it and forget it." UH NO. So I not only told myself I would TRY my hardest, but also that I WILL do it, and I DON'T NEED the epidural. My point is just mentally prepare yourself. Millions of women have done it. And honestly, pushing doesn't even hurt. Its just the contractions during transition that hurt the most, and the "transition stage" is the shortest.

My advice is, read a lot, and be your own advocate! You can do it mama!

Because ppl like to think they know the best way to do something, ive also found the same thing.

Having been through 5 births 2 of which were completely natural I have an opinion each way. While when I CAN give birth without pain meds, I don't personally prefer to. Especially when I have people present for the birth. I'd rather be comfortable and able to be in the moment with everyone, than in my own world in pain. I just delivered my 5th, and my oldest 2 children were there. So I had an epidural before they even got to the hospital, so they wouldn't be scared seeing me in pain.

I do think I had quicker recoveries after the births that were unmedicated. If you really want to do it unmedicated, then you really need to have a good support group. Get a doula. Look into a midwife. I think people tend to be more successful when they have a good support group set up.

But I do want to add, that I understand why dr's/nurses "push" epidurals. People do change their mind about getting one. Ordering it, takes time. They ask often, because if you have decided for one, then they want you to get relief asap. When I asked for mine, they ordered it, and he should have been there in about a half hour. However, he was in an emergency case. So it took over an hour for him to get to me. Had I not asked early, he could have been in another case after that emergency, or I could have progressed so quickly, that I could have missed getting one. I don't think it's to try and dash your plans. It's to ensure that you are happy and comfortable for your labor and delivery.

I've been on both sides, one with, one without! However, I didn't choose to not have one! My second baby came too quickly and there was no time for one. The pain is excruciating. Like I literally tried to run away from my body once. It maybe lasted 10 minutes then it was over. I would rather have an unmedicated birth. Healing time is better, and you get this weird sense of empowerment, like I definitely pushed a baby out of my vagina, and felt it! ? Since it's your first, and depending on your pain tolerance, you'll want to probably get one. I CANT STAND physical pain, so I was asking for one with my first at 5CM. But with that said, id do unmedicated all over again. It hurts, ALOT, but the pain is over quickly! ?

People always feel the need to comment...ignore them...use it as motivation...sadly, it's just the first of many things you'll get unsolicited opinions over. ?

Yeah, people said the same thing to me. Who cares? I just said it's what I wanted to try, but anything could happen. Everyone has their opinions and likes to voice them. Just let them. Smile and move on. If you go natural, you can rub it in later.

I ended up with an epidural, so I was very happy that I didn't argue with anyone when they said I would want one.

I'm a ftm and I plan on going natural too. Let me say, hardly anyone will be supportive of that. Everyone tells me I don't know what I'm getting myself into, when those pains start you'll be begging for drugs, why do you want to be in pain on purpose, you know all the usual stuff. I really wish I had never told anyone because it can be very discouraging. Even the first ob I went to snickered when I told him and said oh we hear that all the time but it never happens. That was the last time I saw him. I now have a midwife, my husband has my birth plan and he knows to say no to interventions unless absolutely necessary. I've hammered "no pitocin, no epidural" into his head so he is aware that I specifically don't want those administered.

I was due a few days ago, so when the time comes I really hope I'm successful. I hope you can do it too!

Im team epidural and I get grief for not going natural. If only we got two cents every time someone gave their two cents.

I've stopped talking to people about my birth plan and leave that conversation for my midwife and myself.

The moment I started talking about it to other mothers, I would not even be given the chance to finish what I was saying before they'd butt in and say "aw but you will change your mind." well.. no I won't. Because I'm stubborn as all hell and I will do as I damn well please. I've stated in my birth plan that no pain medication be offered unless my say so.

Luckily I'm in a birthing centre and have a team of midwives caring for me, so they very much advocate for an all natural, unmedicated birth.

But of course, I'm well aware that things could go top side and my birthing plan could be thrown out the window. And I'm okay with that, as long as I know my baby comes out healthy. I definitely do not appreciate when other people tell me to go in open minded as if I'm not already aware that things may not go to plan.

I totally understand where you're coming from and it's funny I stumbled across your post because I was actually just about to post the same thing.

At the end of the day, you, your doctor and whoever else is on your team knows what needs to be done to get your baby here safely and if that means naturally and unmedicated or medicated - then so be it!

Good luck to you, mummy ??☺️

Everyone has a different experience, and it's different for each baby. I think if you're mentally prepared for unmedicated birth, you'll be able to do it. I wanted to get an epidural but was dilated 7 cm when I got to the hospital so I just pushed out baby as soon as I changed into my hospital gown! It wasn't how I "planned" it but it was how it happened. No matter what, it'll be wonderful when you meet your baby.

Most are just ill informed on the natural process & workings of birth so they don't know any better. Sadly, even many medical professionals today view birth like this bc that's all they've seen.

The #1 key (IMO) on having an unmedicated birth, next to support, is understanding the process. Knowing how contractions change with stages of labor, that it's VERY COMMON to hit a wall in transition & this is when most women cave (it's the "baby just gonna have to stay in there" stage), but transition is also the shortest stage & means you're close.

Being informed on the process helps remove the fear associated with the unknowns of labor.

#2. Support. Make sure your SO is aware of birth too! It's gross but doctors pull on dads ALOT in circumstances bc often then don't know, are less likely to advocate for you/y'all, and are more likely to defer to "the doctor". I've seen it both first hand & for others.... DH actually laughed about it later like "who does that guy think he is? Like I'm just some dumb guy."

And doulas are AMAZING. They're there to support you AND your partner & can help you advocate for yourself if need be.

#3. Move in labor & push how you want. However YOUR body tells you. Your body DOES know what it's doing, even though you've never done it. It will tell you what works for it & what doesn't. Listen to yourself.

And lastly..... find out NOW that you & your provider are on the same page. Ask lots of questions & don't let them skirt around them:

What is their c/s rate

Induction rate

Augmentation rate

Episiotomy rate

Surgically assisted birth rate

Unmedicated birth rate

If there are others in the practice that might deliver you then what are THEIR rates.

If your provider isn't on the same page regarding model of & evidence based care then CHANGE PROVIDERS.

Don't leave it till "next time", this birth can very well affect next time greatly... treat it like the ONLY time.

Read all you can, watch birth videos (I stick to homebirth & birth center bc they show the most natural hands off process), and trust your body.

*one June mom to another* ?

Bpugh13, I've heard my fair share of horror stories about epidurals. And of course a lot of people have great experiences. I just want to avoid it if I can. I don't want to risk the possible negative effects if I don't have to. And I may be crazy, but I do want to feel everything.

Lulu, I get what you're saying about avoiding the convo. But I think more women should talk about it, but not get judgey or push their beliefs. There's nothing wrong with getting an epidural, but so many women are uninformed! I was one of them, I literally thought that was a regular part of birth. I never even considered it any other way until I started watching documentaries and doing research.

Honestly if you feel like you'll be better off without it don't get it. I didn't want it with my first and my mom kept pressuring me to get it and the person messed it up and it didn't work for me. They had to dose me 3 times before I started pushing and I still felt EVERYTHING. I was even telling the nurses when I was having contractions to push. So go with what you want and if they don't support you then they can shove it. Your body your decision.

They are jelly.

In all seriousness I had an epi with my first and natural with my second. I couldn't have had my first vaginally without the epi. So im grateful for it. But natural was so much nicer. I had a doula and I recommend one!

Also, thanks for the advice and wisdom Kaytrone! Really helpful.

And thanks for the encouragement from the other ladies as well! I still have some time since I'm in my 24th week but I'm very determined. And like I said before, if things go awry I will be fine as long as baby gets here healthy. I just don't get why people can't say good luck instead of sharing with me why they couldn't do it and how I'll change my mind. I would never tell someone that they're wrong for wanting an epidural or a C section.

Figured some ladies on here would understand!

I was induced and had the epidural and so glad I did. There's no way I could have gotten through my labour without.

If you don't need it; good for you. If you do need it, good for you. No shame either way.

I think the beat thing to do is to just avoid the conversation. Whenever anyone asked me that question I would just say I wasn't sure, I would see how things went and have an open mind. I found it quickly shut down the conversation because no one could judge me either way, and really it was no one's business anyway! And the fact is you do have to be open minded because things rarely go the way you expect!

A doula can help you and be an advocate for you when you might not be thinking clearly.

I also recommend looking to see if the hospital you're delivering at is what they call 'mother-baby friendly' this means they promote the moms wishes, try and honor their birth plans, work towards helping a successful breastfeeding relationship, immediate skin to skin, ect.

If they are they are much more likely to honor your wishes instead of trying to over power or scare you into something different.

I also stated to the nurse when I arrived not to mention pain control to me unless I specifically brought it up. I didn't want the thought introduced into my head.

Kaytrone, hopefully I get so lucky! My mom's side of the family pretty much preach C sections and swear I will have to have one. A lot of them say it was because their pelvis is too small to deliver naturally. Well I researched that and apparently it is a VERY rare condition. Not denying it exists, but I also read that a lot of doctors will say this to try to push C sections. My dad's side, all of the women delivered naturally. And most with no meds. My dad's mom spit out 13 babies naturally and unmedicated. I hope I take after her, she was one mean and tough lady lol.

I just want to have a plan and a goal so I don't go in there and let the nurses or doctors dictate things for me.

Also, during labor MOVE.

The worst part of labor was having to sit still when they checked my cervix. Do what your body wants you to do, if you fight it, it only makes it worse. Every contraction I had I told myself that's a contraction I'll never have to have again.

I never had my cervix checked prior to labor either. In my opinion, it psyches women out, it's not indicative of when labor will start, so I never had the chance to get worried or freaked out, because I didn't know if or when I dialated until I was in active labor.

I had a doula and it was wonderful. I highly recommend them.

I do absolutely agree with having an open mind. I openly acknowledge the fact that I was luck in the sense that everything went "my way," baby in ideal position, not stressed, ect.

I walked in at 7cm. I stayed home as long as I could before going to the hospital, the nurses couldn't believe I was that far along and not freaking out. ?

I didn't take any classes, or study any breathing, I did have a little bit of extra oxygen because I had a hard time catching my breath while pushing.

My son was 9lbs 5 ozs and 22", I'm only 5'1.

If someone trys to tell you the baby is "too big" don't let that freak you out. I had people tell me it might not be possible with his size, that's only honestly like 5-10% of women with a legitimate issue in that departmemt.

You have to have an open yet stubborn mindset if that makes sense.

See, that's also annoying though. When I literally say I realize plans can change and then people tell me the same thing over again lol. If things don't go my way, I'll get over it probably as soon as I meet my son. But I think it's very important to be informed and not let anyone push you into something you don't want if it can be helped.

I agree, everyone told me that I'd be screaming for one. My son was born 5 years ago and I swore I would not get one. I got one after being induced (I wasn't as well educated as I am now, I regret that decision now) I was in pain for about 6 hours, got admitted, got a room, asked for an epidural, passed out for 5 hours straight, gained my will power again, asked to stop the drip, you have to not get off the bed for 6 hours after they've stopped it. At 6 hours and one min I got up and stared to use my ball, hopped in the shower for a bit, walked all around my room and hallways and a couple hours after I delivered my son all natural. It was tough, not the road I wanted to take but whatever happens happens. :) I'm 5 months pregnant now and plan to do all natural and not get induced this time. But whatever happens happens, as long as we get our bundles of joy, we're good :) good luck and we can do this!!!

4 unmedicated births here yeah it's painful but totally doable! You got this!

Everybody has an opinion on pregnancy, giving birth and raising children and I doubt they are trying to be unsupportive towards you and your wish to have a natural birth. When I was pregnant I just stopped talking to people about that kind of stuff it was too frustrating lol.

Good luck to you and I hope you have a great birthing experience ?

Im glad I had an open mind about my birth plan as I had planned a natural unmedicated water birth, which turned into 27 hours of labour, Pitocin drip, a failed epidural and an emergency C Section under General Anesthetic.

I'm also looking into hiring a doula. I figured that would help a lot!

Hardly anyone believes I did my birth unmedicated and all natural! It's just common to get the epidural so it's almost "unheard" of to do it natural. Don't let anyone get in your head. Only you know what you want and don't want. But I will say, keep an open mind because labor is VERY unpredictable.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I beleive it's best to keep an open mind about the birthing process. I had a "birth plan" as well & ended up having to schedule a C-Section because my daughter was breech & then my water broke 2 days before the surgery date & I ended up having to get an emergency C-Section. I had a hard time coming to terms with all of it. Try to keep an open mind. And yes, I was in labor dealing with contractions for about 6 hours & like pp said you're crazy. Lol

Kaytrone, I was thinking the same! I'm very hard headed and stubborn so now I absolutely have to do it since everyone is so sure I'll change my mind. Now, I know things can happen and I could have to have an emergency C section or anything could go wrong really. But I just think if I'm healthy and the baby is healthy, why not do it the way women have always done it?

Girl, use it to your advantage!

I had an unmedicated, vaginal delivery. You know how many people told me I wouldn't be able to do it or I'd change my mind? I lost track in all honesty, yes it's annoying, yes it's irritating, but I used all the naysayers negativity as motivation to stay all natural. I wanted to prove those people wrong, and that my decision was the right decision for me.

The best thing in the world besides that baby is getting to tell those people that you did it. ??

I've had three natural unmediated births. You can do it as long as you stay strong and keep that mindset

I feel the same way! I'm a ftm also and have planned on a natural birth since before I got pregnant but I literally had a stranger tell me that I was crazy for wanting that and that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Basically scolding me for my decision. BUT I try not to let it bother me. I have four older sisters who've done almost all straight natural births and women have been doing this since the beginning of time without medicine, so I'm not worried. If they could do it, we can do it!

However, even with this being my intention, I don't know what will actually happen in that moment so I flat out told my dr that i was going to plan on natural but keep an epidural as an option if for some reason I need it.

Keep your head up, mama! People always have something negative to say, but it's your body, your baby, and your decision!

You are crazy lol. No but seriously because a lot of doctors push epidurals. If you don't want one don't feel bad for doing what you want. Make sure you have it in your birth plan so they don't offer it. They can offer you different methods to help you. I was really close to not having the epidural but I couldn't breathe anymore and would turn purple. I'm sure a lot of ladies on here have gone natural and can give you amazing advice.