Honestly, if I were watching a kid and they did something that my own kids would get put in time out for then the one I'm watching would also get put into timeout for doing it. I don't feel like it would be fair to my kids to be disciplined for something and then watch other kids doing the same thing and having no consequences

You just gave me an idea where I can do timeouts. Im gonna buy a booster seat that straps to chair and has straps. I have a hard time making her stay in the corner.shes 2

Well....he did end up coming today and it seems to be going much better then yesterday. I talked with mom and she agreed to a "trial run" of me putting the child at the table in our strap in booster seat...alone for a few minutes if he's being aggressive, after much convincing from me. We had 2 instances this morning of hair pulling and hitting and he automatically went to the table and sat there alone for a good 5 minutes each time. We are an hour and a half out from the last table sitting and we have not had any aggressiveness at all. Hopefully this continues throughout the day...because it was every couple of minutes yesterday. This really just affirms why I parent the way I do with my kids though.

They don't sound at all like gentle parents, they sound like permissive parents. As a gentle parent I see no issue with setting a boundary (no hitting if you want to play with other kids), giving warnings and then removing your kid if the behavior continues.

I saw a few good ideas from a pp. honestly though I think you might want to approach his parents. They aren't really enabling you to properly watch their kid. I'd say you guys need to come up with some disciplinary ideas that work for you, his parents and him.

I don't get it, but here's an article about it

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I don't understand why they don't allow time out?

I am an attached parent, and I don't believe in spanking. But why in the heck wouldn't you be okay with setting your child aside and giving them a break when they are over whelmed?

Doesn't make much sense to me.

If I were you I would try reaffirming and validating his feelings. He may not be used to sharing the attention with others so he gets angry/acts out because of it. Just reinforce his feelings then say he needs to take a break and maybe sit with him while he takes a break and talk. Then ask if he is okay to go back to the group and try over. That's what I would do. Also try giving him age appropriate tasks with helping you or something specific to do during his time over. (: that's all I can think of off the top of my head.

I'd lose it. There's is no way I'd deal with that kid seeing how he terrorizes my own children. Yes, labor costs will be higher, but I think it's worth your kids' piece of minds.

honestly... in my opinion the BEST thing for everyone is if you tell the parents how difficult, aggressive and upsetting he is to your kids and you. if you can find a way to do it with love and show them you care, they might have a wake-up call to realize that they need to change something about their parenting. tell them that you love the child, but his behavior makes it so you can't have him around your kids. if they don't turn it around soon, how's this kid even going to go to school???

Calm down jars

Here's a link PP

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Not trying to be rude, this is an honest question. Does gentle parenting mean no punishment whatsoever? I feel like time outs would fall under the category of gentle parenting, but idk because I've never heard of it. From what you described, it sounds like it means not punishing your child in any way.

I'm not a gentle parent either but here are my ideas:

1.) Motivation/reward chart; when he's acting nice and being appropriate, make a big deal out of it, he gets a sticker and so many stickers equals a reward or something positive.

2.) Make it a point to compliment him when he is doing something good. Even the little tiny things that we expect them to do anyways. Positive reinforcement.

3.) Ignore ALL negative behavior; if he's hitting, etc... then you and the kids just get up and leave the room. Don't say anything to him, just walk away and dont acknowledge him until he wants to act right. When he's calmed down talk to him about what he did wrong. Its not time out per say but it will work similar. You're not forcing him to stay put, you're just showing him that the repercussions are that no one wants to be around bad behavior.

4.) Make a "special" corner. A place that's just his where he can go and calm down. Like a quiet spot with a comfy chair where he can act out if he wants too. When he starts acting up encourage him to get it out in his special place. Make it a place that he feels is special to just him. My sons head start had a spot with bean bag chairs, etc... where the kids could go if they felt the need to act up. It was a safe place for them to express themselves without consequences but that spot is the only place they can act out.

I'm out of ideas now and I don't remember his age so I hope these are age appropriate suggestions. Good luck!

Honestly walk away and leave him alone. Kids like that need to learn that when u hurt people try don't want I be with u

Honestly I don't think you could do much difference by spending few hours trying to discipline him. Discipline should come from primary caregiver and its every second of the day. Especially if you want to approach gentle way like speaking with them.

Their approach is far from gentle.its basically approach of do whatever ypu want kid.

If a kid that age is hurting other kids , I dont think its newly picked up behaviour either and that means hes not been stopped and probably thinks nothing wrong with it because there hasnt been any form of punishment or even a talk with him.

I think you should bring it up to parents as nice as you can.they might get offended since noone wants to hear their kid is problem. Suggest time outs if they are open to suggestions

I believe if you are going to be watching the child they will conform to the way you do things. Time out should be put in play at your house because that's your rules. He knows there are no punishments so he will continue to do as he pleases. You should never spank someone else's child but there should be some form of punishment you may try to ask the parents what they suggest you do when he mistreats your children just to be on good terms. But in my opinion your home your care your rules.

Because they are against time-out....while I don't agree with it, I feel like I should respect their wishes if I am choosing to care for him. Which is why I am looking for advice from other gentle parents like them. I either figure out how to do it gently, or he doesn't come here at all. I don't think it's my place to impose my discipline views on their child if they don't want it done that way. He's an only child, and spends 99.9% of his time with just his parents, so they don't ever deal with this. The dads suggestions of "just tell him why he can't" and have him sit in my lap for a minute (while hes hitting me) aren't cutting it. I would really like to not pay as much in labor....but it's also not worth my children's peace and safety to have him here if we can't get a handle on it (gently).

Did you ask the parents?? Maybe they'd be able to give you an idea of what they would do in that situation.

If the child acts like that in school, what would they do? Why can't you put the child in time-out, if he is in YOUR care in YOUR home. He is def bullying the other kids in their home and that isn't fair.

I'm not sure what I would do because I do t believe in "gentle parenting"... For this exact reason. But I will say if this doesn't end VERY soon you need to say forget it and stop allowing your children to be bullied in their own home. And tell the parents exactly how you feel so they realize the kind of kid they are putting out in to the world.

Sorry if that sounds harsh