Actually, a child born into an ideal environment has two willing parents, often with two incomes. When things don’t work between the adults, the child is still entitled to that support from BOTH parents. It isn’t about where they lay their heads, it’s about both parents doing their parts to provide every kind of support to their children. Sometimes that’s providing monetary assistance to the other parent to ensure the child has all they need.

@angylynn22, here’s another unpopular opinion, if you don’t have court sanctioned child support you’re not advocating for your child properly. Court sanctioned means the parent paying is paying a fair amount and the parent receiving is due that amount and if they don’t receive it there will be consequences which ensures that the child will always be taken care of. Even if you can afford to care for your child on your own, you could be putting that money away for a college fund or use it and save your money for a rainy day or vacation. Have it for a back up in savings Incase you lose your job or somehow are unable to work. Save it for a down payment on a house. Buy them things they want that you wouldn’t be able to afford on your own like a new toy or cool pair of shoes. The money can always be put towards good use and just because you don’t “need” it now, doesn’t mean it might not come in handy down the road and having court sanctioned child support secures your child’s wellbeing for the future.

It would definitely be a rarity for it to happen perfectly. I know a number of families who have been or are in this situation and it has never been easy. I’m in a 50/50 state as well and it never happens easily! One factor to consider is in many families, one parent has sacrificed their career growth opportunities to be the “primary parent”. In my case, I had a great career and have a masters degree, but we decided it would be best for me to stay home while the kids are young. In this time, my husbands career has grown, he has been putting money into retirement and he makes more money than I ever will. He has these opportunities because I sacrificed my career and when I go back, will probably make even less since I will have a five year gap in employment. I think the courts take these types of situations into consideration when they determine child support and I think they should.

@rowdy-vajazzy, I know if I got a divorce, my husband and I would just move into a multi family home so the kids could still live with both parents under the same roof.

In* 😂

@rowdy-vajazzy, ohhh yeah I didn’t get the sarcasm lol sorry but yes I’m a perfect world :)

@snoopaloop011, I know. My sarcasm must not have translated. In a perfect world, right?

@rowdy-vajazzy, because that my dear is a fantasy that not many single mothers get the option of. There are a lot of single moms on this app who have no choice but to collect child support because as much as we all like to think the man will step up and take care of shit.. it doesn’t happen that way.

How are you guys not understanding this? Child support should not be paid if parents live in close enough proximity to share 50/50 custody, assuming it is in the best interest of the child and they pay for half the insurance, half the daycare, clothes, food, school supplies at their house, half of any extracurricular activities, tutoring, counseling, or anything else the child might need. And of course the parents will agree on everything the child might need with no problems. They will both have the type of jobs where they can be present to help with homework on the days they have the child/ren. And their jobs will allow for them both to attend sporting events that they each half for. I don’t see why you are not getting it and understanding OP’s opinion on this.

Don't let the bedbugs bite😉

“angrylynn22”

@veemndz @snoopaloop011 @glencoco @lmtreleven and the rest

Good night good people. Thanks for my entertainment for the night. Hope you all have a wonderful remainder of your week. Ignore me, get that child support girl !

@veemndz nope. Don't care about anyone accepting it. Lol

@glencoco lmaoooo😂😂😂😂

@angylynn22 someone asked you in a previous comment if you were in the situation, you laughed it out and said No, that you've just seen people go through it. So I stand with my comment lol

You also replied to my first comment stating "not a good argument" so I had the courtesy of replying 😂 You want people to accept your "unpopular opinion" but you're not accepting of others. Eh, different strokes for different folks 🖖

How do you know what I know that you know what I know about?? 🧐

@veemndz lol. Whose arguing ? Maybe "going through it" clouds judgement

@veemndz how do you know what I know about ?

@angylynn22 It's always good to have it set in place. That way it's easier to rely on. I never would want to worry if my kids and I would lose our home, car, and such all because their dad "couldnt" make a payment when he agreed to.

@angylynn22 what's not a good argument is the fantasized idea you have on co parenting and child support, plus arguing with mothers whom are actually going through it🤷‍♀️ Don't speak on something you know nothing about.

@tayler why not allow him to handle his responsibilities on his own before taking it to the courts....or do you just assume he won't?

@veemndz .....not really a good argument

Here in Illinois if a mother receives any kind of benefits such as housing, snap benefits, ssi, anything. The system automatically puts child support in place if the mother isn't married or living with the father. Whether he's present or not. If my daughters father were to leave, my bills would be more than my income so I would most definitely file for child support because we built our family and home on both of our incomes.

You can't really speak on something you haven't experienced yourself. Theres a huge difference between seeing people dealing with this situation, than being a single parent dealing with the situation.

@angylynn22, it is though. I have an electric bill with or without my child, but if I spend my money on clothes and shoes for my child and may come up short on electric without that child support check, I’m using it to pay the electric to keep hot water and hot food for my child. Same with gas. Or the house payment. Or the car payment. The child needs a roof over its head and a car to get to appointments, school, sports, etc. if I’m providing for my child, I’ll use the money as I see fit.

@angylynn22 I'm not on here to argue with you. I wasn't giving my opinion, I was stating a fact! As I previously stated- I work with custody cases... I'm very familiar with child support guidelines- due to the work I do. Child support money is not labeled as to what the money should go for as long as it has to do with the child that's all that matters in the child support guidelines... So with that said now that I have stated a fact I will give my opinion... And in my opinion - the parent whom is not the residential parent shall pay child support... See the difference one was a fact other was my opinion... Anywho you have yourself a blessed night 😉

@lmtreleven yes. 50/50. They share the same amount of time. He's with mom for 7 days, with us 7 days and so forth. We are looking to modify it cause mom started working a good job (for our area and her arreat record) and my husband will be making less than her so it would only be fair to drop it completely. They even alternate tax years and we worked out a hoilday schedule where it still makes it fair.

@danielzamor2007 unpopular opinion number 2......Child support is not for bills that you would have without the child. There are some cases where it is necessary, no doubt....but there are also a lot where it is not

@angylynn22 If you have a father whom is willing to "ON HIS OWN" go out and provide for the child... Examples- clothes, food, shoes, school supplies, insurance, and help with bills for the home... Then in that case- child support wouldn't be necessary indeed! But, unfortunately- that's not very realistic! Emotions get involved, especially when parents move on and get into new relationships... I work in custody cases- with my family's law firm... I'm familiar with child support- and child support is great for that residential parent, bc that money goes for whatever is needed at the time... For instance- the child may not need new clothes- so instead that child support money can go towards the electric bill and a few groceries... Bc those essentials are for the children as well... Then- if the other parent wanted to he/she could on his/her own- purchase other things for the child... It makes it simpler... Not to mention- in the state of Ohio whichever parent isn't the residential parent is the one whom provides medical insurance as well for that child...

@jmedina Well explain! 😉

@snoopaloop011 so....regardless of what you've interpreted, none of that breaks a good mother down. Lastly, I'm saying that COURT SANCTIONED child support should be a last resort, not that both parents should not provide for the child. People are responding and interpreting with emotion rather than logic

@glencoco @snoopaloop011 I absolutely agree with you ladies...

My SO and his ex have joint physical and legal custody of their two boys, we don’t pay child support and neither does she. We live over an hour away from each other and the boys were 6&7 when we went to court. She has them (or is supposed to have them) Monday morning through Thursday morning and we have them Thursday through Monday morning.

@glencoco same for if me and my husband get divorced. I think a child should have one stable home and I would never let my husband have full custody because I have always been their main caregiver. He is a great parent but I don't feel he can care for them as well as I do but I am not going to support my kids with no financial help when there are two parents. My husband sees it the same way, said he would put himself on it and never take the kids away from me.

@snoopaloop011 1. Tell me what I said, not what you interpreted from what I said. 2. I don't knock ppl who rightfully deserve child support because they are dealing with another parent who has proven to not take care of their responsibilities, that is NOT what this post said. 3. My post is referring to individuals who feel jilted in their relationship and resort to holding a child hostage for child support when the other parent is more than willing to be active in the child's life.

@angylynn22, yes harassing. You ultimately, to sum up your posts, told single moms that they aren’t good parents because they get child support? Look over your posts and ask how you would respond if your husband left you and didn’t want to contribute to your kids. Not saying I wish that on anyone because I don’t.. it sucks.. but shit happens and when it does it nice to know courts and other moms will be supportive. Not break you down.

@glencoco 👍👍

@lmtreleven my husband has 50/50 custody and we still pay court ordered child support

@snoopaloop011 um....harrassing? But you're on my status. I stated an unpopular opinion and others decided they wanted to debate

@angylynn22, here’s another unpopular opinion, if you don’t have court sanctioned child support you’re not advocating for your child properly. Court sanctioned means the parent paying is paying a fair amount and the parent receiving is due that amount and if they don’t receive it there will be consequences which ensures that the child will always be taken care of. Even if you can afford to care for your child on your own, you could be putting that money away for a college fund or use it and save your money for a rainy day or vacation. Have it for a back up in savings Incase you lose your job or somehow are unable to work. Save it for a down payment on a house. Buy them things they want that you wouldn’t be able to afford on your own like a new toy or cool pair of shoes. The money can always be put towards good use and just because you don’t “need” it now, doesn’t mean it might not come in handy down the road and having court sanctioned child support secures your child’s wellbeing for the future.

@angylynn22, it’s not a motherly thing to do to harass other mothers who aren’t with the child’s father anymore. This is a friendly app for mothers who care about eachother. If you have a problem with supporting everyone then you should find a new app. It’s not like I asked to be a single mom with a sons dad who doesn’t feel the need to help support his child. And honey please I can support my own child all by myself. Doesn’t mean I should have to. If his dad wants to act like a perfect dad to everyone around him then he should pay like a perfect dad too.

@glencoco yea....everyone else here would probably need court sanctioned child support

@glencoco why couldn't he have them and you get them every other weekend.

@glencoco And Luckily I could support my kids on my own if I needed to, but it's good that I don't need to.

I’ll just say this. If my husband and I were to divorce and I got joint custody. I would have them most of the time and he’d have them every other weekend. He would still go to his kids events and he would still do school events. He would be present and a good parent in my eyes, but he would also be paying child support. Because no way in hell would I work 40 hrs a week, pay for day care, and all other expenses for my children while he gets to spend his free time and visitation with them and not worry about the clothes on their back or the roof over their head. You have your idea, but obviously everyone else here has a different one.

@glencoco nope.... I just know what 2 good parents looks like.

@angylynn22, you have a twisted idea of what present means then. The way you sound you want to still be fucking the dude and sleeping in his bed for him to be “present”. No one needs to be up each other’s ass 24/7 girl.

@lmtreleven too late. Lol

@glencoco Lol. Well then most likely one parent is not present (i.e. absent)........my original statement still stands.

@angylynn22, yes I completely agree however he won’t. This is why child support exists because if it was his choice he wouldn’t pay anything for his child. He hasn’t bought him clothes once and my son is 4. Therefore I need to make sure my son has clothes and this is why he pays child support.

To add to your idea of a present parent, I lived with my dad. I saw my mother every other weekend, switched holidays every year, and most of the summer. She by no means paid for my school supplies, sports, food, clothes, utilities or other expenses during my childhood. But she was present. She took me to Girl Scouts field trips, came to Mother’s Day parties, and while she wasn’t the best parent it shows that the other parent can make themselves “present” without paying a dime and helping out the other. They can come to sports, see them during visitation, go to school field trips etc. that makes them present. But they’re still not financially providing for their child so they would pay child support to make up for that. In reality my mother should’ve been paying child support but that’s a whole nother story.

@snoopaloop011 1. He should pay 50% of daycare when he's with him. 2. He should have clothes for the child at his house, you should not have to send any.

@lmtreleven idk what more than present means....either you're present or you're not. By my standards every weekend is NOT PRESENT

@angylynn22, yes. I pay his daycare, medical insurance, dental insurance, any new clothes (which his dad ends up keeping half and sends me the ones with holes in them), and all his other bills. His father has him 165 overnights each year. This is why child support exists. I contacted him last month to pay $50 towards a medical bill and he told me no.

Even if you hate the judicial system, it’s a necessity in most cases. If a parent lives an hr or more away from the other and both parents want custody, the court needs to be involved to choose a main parent and child support amount. Not every breakup is cupcakes and rainbows where both parents live 5 minutes from each other and they take turns picking the kids up from school and making dinner every week.

@snoopaloop011 you have 1500/month in bills for the child for 50% of the time ? And he has 0/month in bills for the child for 50% of the time ?

@glencoco i get where the disconnect is....your definition of present does not align with my idea of a present parent. Every other weekend is NOT present by my standards

I’m gonna have to disagree to that last one.. my sons dad is forced to be present and has him 50% of the time but all bills for my son are in my name. I pay nearly 1500 a month in bills just for my son so I’ll be damned if his dad went into court and said well I pay for his food when he is with me. Like uhhh no. He’s gonna pay for his fucking child.

Just so everyone knows....I generally hate involving the judicial system in ANY family matters...so don't take it personally. Lol

@angylynn22, what’s it matter how well I know each of my parents? The point is they were both present. I couldn’t spend every single weekend with the same parent. If a mom works 40 hrs a week, the only time she’d have to take her children anywhere would be the weekend, and she can’t do that if they’re with their dad every weekend. That would mean the mom would work and pay for everything and not even get to spend time with them, while the dad would provide nothing and get all the free time. Which is why courts set every other weekend visitation. Even if the other parent wants 50/50, they can’t have it when the child needs to be in school which is why the court would place the child with a main parent and the other would pay child support.

@oddie hate to tell ya but one parent is still taken advantage of in a lot of cases. Not all though

@glencoco court should only be involved when a parent has proven to be ABSENT

@angylynn22, right but the courts mandate them all to ensure it’s as fair as it can be to all parties involved. It doesn’t matter if they are present or not. Often that fluctuates anyway depending on the age of the children, what the parents do for a living and many other factors. I’d much rather court ordered child support so that one parent isn’t taking advantage of.

@glencoco not as well as your know them if you saw them both every day or even every other day......and that's not a shot at you, just facts

@angylynn22, dude. Every other weekend is the normal court appointed visitation. Because again, not everyone lives in the same town as their ex and children need stability. I would know. My parents had that arrangement. And guess what, I know both of them very well.

@glencoco every other weekend is NOT PRESENT

@oddie that is NOT PRESENT

🤦🏻‍♀️ just because a child sees a parent every other weekend doesn’t mean the other shouldn’t get child support. I’d expect my child to be taken care of every other weekend and throughout the week.

@mamabird228 lol. No. Just seen too many bitter parents getting child support from other parents who would willingly take the child 100% of the time if allowed. Men and women

@angylynn22, the “middle man” is there to make sure both parties are doing as close to their fair share as humanly possible. There are plenty of situations in which one parent won’t provide monetary support and are inconsistent in visitation or any parenting responsibilities. They are there to ensure the kids have what they need and reduce situations where parenting becomes one sided.

@glencoco I'm speaking on court sanctioned child support here.....a present parent provides for a child's needs while they are in their care

@angylynn22, they can’t do that if they don’t live near them. Many parents live an hr or more from each other. Not everyone lives in the same town.

@glencoco who said anything about one parent paying for everything... Lol. And that other parent you're describing doesn't sound "presents. So what say you about stay at home moms who contribute nothing monetarily....Does their time not mean anything ? Exactly

@mamabird228 idk what that last comment has to do with what in saying

Why should one parent pay all the bills, buy all the food, provide health insurance, provide clothes and shoes, take care of school expenses, hair cuts, etc while the other parent gets weekend visitation and summer break visitation and not have to pay a dime? You mean to tell me a mother should work a 40 hr job and pay for all of the child’s needs while the other parent works and gets to go out every other weekend and hang out with friends when ever they want, not have to worry about the child’s food or clothes, stay out and not worry about a babysitter, and do whatever else they want without having to send that mother a dime just because the child has to go to school and be in a stable environment? That’s not how that works.

@glencoco just because the child lives with one parent during the week...Does not mean the other parent can't see them during the week. You are probably misinterpreting my idea of present.....that means picking up from school, practices, attending games, helping with homework. No matter who the child lives with, the either parent can do all of that. Throughout the year

@oddie or just provide the child with what they need.....Why the middleman

@lmtreleven so if being present is not enough.....what about stay at home moms who provide no monetary help....exactly

Actually, a child born into an ideal environment has two willing parents, often with two incomes. When things don’t work between the adults, the child is still entitled to that support from BOTH parents. It isn’t about where they lay their heads, it’s about both parents doing their parts to provide every kind of support to their children. Sometimes that’s providing monetary assistance to the other parent to ensure the child has all they need.

@glencoco or if the parent who has more time isn't willing to make it as close to 50/50 as possible (if the other parent is willing), they can pick up the slack

@angylynn22, there’s no choosing to let the child stay with the other parent 50% of the time when children have to go to school throughout the year. A child needs a stable environment so most of the time a child stays with one parent throughout the year except for weekend visitation and summer break. That’s not 50/50, but that doesn’t make the other parent absent. It’s just not in the child’s interest. The parent who has the child the majority of the time receives child support to help pay bills and supply food, clothes and necessities. Again, it’s not 50/50 and the parent is not absent.

@mamabird228 not if you don't take it to the courts......

@lmtreleven some women go against 50/50 custody then ask for child support. Why not let the father be a father I stead of wanting money......and it happens the other way around too

@mamabird228 child support meaning court sanctioned child support, not discussing like adults and providing for the child's needs together

@mamabird228 I will never go through that bc I'd never ask for child support from a present father

I don't CARE how it works in the legal system....if a mother or father is taking care of their responsibility to their child..Child support is UNNECESSARY. If you choose to not allow the other parent to have the child close to 50% of the time (and they are willing)....that's on you to provide for the time that you were unwilling to give to the other parent.

@dessiriebgkirkland um yea...that's what the post is saying...Child support is not necessary if both parents are doing for the child

Just because a parent doesn’t have 50/50 custody doesn’t make them absent. Sometimes it’s in the best interest of the child to be with a parent more that half the time because of school or work. In that case, the parent who doesn’t have the child the majority of the time would pay child support.

@mamabird228, i read this post as a lot of women tend to think that when relationships don’t work out they start to take advantage. Not letting dads see the baby or take the baby where he wants because of relationship problems. And is a parent is absent then that’s where Child support CAN come in. Not just to support the baby.

@mamabird228 nope....if the other parent isnt absent,it's a broke parent hustle. If the other parent is present, they provide for the child when they have them (which should be 50% of the time)...so why pay the other parent to provide for the child during their 50%....