Сводные дети 8 и 12 лет: конфликты и вес

Does anyone else have issues with step kids? I’m having the hardest time just getting along with them. I love being a mommy, my two littles are 3 and almost 1 my step kids are 8 and 12...they are so rude to me, incredibly disrespectful and overall rude. I do a lot for them, they go to school over an hour away so I spend 4 hours in a car 3 days a week for them, I cook for them but they hate what I try and feed them bc it’s healthy (they are both over weight and in the 99th percentile as far as BMI goes) I care about their health but they see it as me being mean. I see they are trying to get rid of me and put a wedge in-between me and my husband. It’s the only thing I freak out about is his kids bc he works so much and I’m left with them a lot. They are only nice to me in front of him or if they want something from me. I hate this. I wish they were just nice. I don’t want my girls following their influence :( the eight year old is ruthless and says things like “we can’t eat out bc you don’t work” - in a rude voice- after taking all four kids to a trampoline park. Or “you still look pregnant” I’m 95 lbs !!! she has hurt my 3 year old on purpose on more than one occasion. The 12 year old is dramatic in such an extreme way, she will say I hurt her feelings and go crying to her dad when all I said was “clean your room” seriously 😒 he says we are on the same page and we are as far as our youngest two but the older two we are on totally different books. They both wet the bed still she refuse to clean up after themselves, the purposely leave trash in the pantry and fridge, they yell and scream at each other the entire time they are here. I hate this.