Should I Forgive My Partner for Secretly Texting His Ex-Best Friend?

I don't think ur wrong at all. I agree with u. Something like this happened to my fiancé and myself. We worked things out stayed together and he stopped talking to that person. But we had also briefly broke up so he knew he didn't like living without me and our son. I hope things work out for you and him and he stays true to his word to you. And kicks her ass to the curb.

It sounds like he still has a lot of growing up to do. Not sure if he realizes what he’s doing to you could cause you to leave him. You need to talk to him about how what he is doing is causing you to not trust him. He needs to respect your feelings and wishes.

Perfectly normal reaction... if he can’t push her out it means there’s an attachment and that’s never a good thing. Be strong and make sure you talk about this more. Set the boundary girl! Don’t let that chick be near your man and baby. He needs to respect your wishes 💕

@cr131418, Thanks girl, that makes me feel so much better. I love this man so much, and I know for sure that he loves me just as much if not more. I told him that if he wants this life with me and our son that he needs to text her that he no longer wants to be friends with her without having a conversation about it and delete her contact information. If it wasn’t 1 am he would’ve done it last night, so he’s going to do it today. It makes me feel like a crazy girlfriend but then again I also feel like it’s for the best and the only way he and I can move on with our lives without her and people like her.

@malainaheka23, I understand completely. I hope he does and then makes it up to you for going behind ur back n still talking to her. Having a lack of trust in a relationship really sucks and takes a while to get back so I hope he stays true to his word n even if she tries to contact him he ignores it and tells u about it that way there's no lies of hiding of anything.

@roseteamommy, I get that they’ve been friends for over 10 years, but that shouldn’t matter if he’s trying to start a new life and family with me and our baby. Am I right? Especially if she’s had a problem with me for no reason at all the second he and I started dating... this girl and I used to be really good friends and all of a sudden she hates me because I’m in a relationship with her friend? Thats pathetic. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I told him that he needs to end their friendship today if he’s really serious about us. He agreed he will so I guess I have to wait till he comes home from work to see if he did or not. I feel like a crazy girlfriend but I also feel like me making him do this is what’s best for the both of us and the only way we can move on. 😕 We don’t need people like her in our lives and I hope he sees that now.

@lulu85_18, He realized how much it’s affected me, and that it’s gone far enough for me to want to leave as much as I don’t want to. I needed him to see how it was affecting our relationship and I think he’s finally seeing that there is no life where me and her can ever get along. So because it was 1 am by the end of our talk, I told him that if he’s really serious about us the only way for us to move on with our life is if he ends their friendship today without going into a conversation about it, and deletes her contact information. I know he loves me so I don’t have any doubts that he won’t do it.

@cr131418, He’s not one to be secretive or sneaky about anything, his phone password is my birthday so I know how much he loves me and wants me to trust him again. When I told him I didn’t think I could trust him anymore he started freaking out and his eyes were tearing up because he knew how much it had hurt me. It took him 7 hours to tell me how stupid he was for texting her and how much he loves and needs me here for me to not to want to leave anymore. Yeah, they were just friends but she was never a good friend. She was the kind of friend that would text him to go out and drink whenever she didn’t have plans. He’s 27 almost 28 and doesn’t need to be going out to bars anymore because he has a girlfriend and baby on the way. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@malainaheka23, Yes you’re very right. Hoping he gets it so you guys can just focus on baby now!

@roseteamommy, Me too! Especially with B. on the way, our life is only going to be all about our baby boy, and nothing else is going to matter after he’s here and I hope he knows that.

You’re absolutely in the right in this situation! If I were in your shoes I wouldn’t have said anything differently to my man. She has no need to be in your little family’s life.

@raelene_g, Thanks girl! I really appreciate it! I’ve been kicking myself all night/day for thinking I’m crazy making him end a 10 year friendship. I mean, if she didn’t act like such a bitch with me and try to be an angel with him I wouldn’t care, but this girl hates me for no reason, and it’s so childish. There’s absolutely no reason for her or anyone like her to be in our lives. Especially with a baby on the way. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I honestly would have reacted the same way this women has disrespected you in the past including your relationship. I'm sure if the tables were turned he'd be just as mad if you were still communicating with someone that has disrespected him.. I think he really needs to put himself in your shoes.

@malainaheka23, she’s extremely jealous, that’s the only reason a woman would act like that! Trussstt me, after I came in the picture my husband lost one of his best girlfriends, he kept wondering why she wouldn’t even talk to him anymore, but we both agreed that it just came down to being jealous. All of his other girl friends are awesome and love me just as much him, and those are true friends! Don’t sweat it you’re not crazy 😌

@alicianoelle, Yeah I know, and I think that’s what he did by hour 7 when he realized how much this girl is affecting our relationship and our family. He told me he will do anything he needs to keep us together because he doesn’t want me or our son to be separated from him. It definitely hit him that he would pretty much lose everything if I had left because of her and he hated that thought. Told me their friendship means nothing if it means losing his family and that he’s going to end it so we can move on with our lives and focus on the arrival of our baby boy.

@raelene_g, Oh I know she is! She tries to make it seem like I am the jealous one but I’m not the one who deleted her from Instagram and sc just to avoid seeing posts of his new happy life with me. Nope, that was all her. We used to be really close until he and I started our relationship so I know it’s her and not me. 🤷🏻‍♀️ She’s a terrible influence and completely insane if she thinks she can convince him to leave me with the baby to go hang out with her when our boy is born, Hell no, she’s wrong for that and we’re completely done with her. 🙅🏻‍♀️👎🏼 Thanks for reassuring me that I’m not crazy!!!🙈😅

You're not wrong at all. Shoot, you're more of a woman than I am because there's no way my husband would go anywhere with a female even if she was great to me. I simply don't trust that. Trust issues. But she's talking about you and bringing you down he should've stepped up and ditched her a long time ago. I wouldn't even blame pregnancy hormones, it's just not fair to you at all.

I have a best friend and we’ve been friends for 11 years now. We know everything about each other and i care so much for him as he does me. But! Whenever he gets a girlfriend, I NEVER talk crap about her and I neverrrr cross the line so for her doing that shit pisses me off. Doing that would never cross my mind. I’m sorry she’s being a bitch and I’m sorry your man doesn’t have the balls to cut her off. (No offense to you) I just hate when men can’t stand up for their girl. My boyfriend had this best friend of 6 years but every time he would get a girlfriend, she’s instantly want him. And I told him cut her off, we don’t need that. >_< I’m sorry for what you’re going through

@scx, Thanks girlie, I really appreciate it!!! &That’s what I said! She and I were coworkers and really close before I had met him. She even pushed us to go out on our first date, but literally the next day when he told her that he was falling for me and asked me to be his girlfriend after our 3rd date she went completely cold on me. She stopped talking to me at work and talked shit about me behind my back to other people at work which I found ridiculous and that alone forced me to quit. She’s just a really immature, childish person who pretends to want to see him happy, but never really wants him to be unless she’s in the picture. We had an argument 5 months ago about him not standing up for me when they were sending me harsh text messages, and I even brought that up to him to try to make him see how awful of a person she is and not a friend to him at all. He apologized for everything even that mistake and promised me that he’ll do everything he needs to do to keep us together and to keep me and his unborn son in his life. So tonight, when he gets home from work he’s going to text her in front of me that he no longer wants to be friends with her without making a conversation about it, just completely cut her off so she has no reason to text him... and he’s also going to delete her contact information, and unfollow her on social media so we can both move on with our lives and focus more on the arrival of our baby boy.

@morganmommy79, Thank you!! And after her attempt to persuade him into leaving me at home with our newborn baby just to hang out with her, I’m done being nice and allowing them to be friends. I trust him with everything, but her I do not trust and I know that she’s going to talk him out of either our relationship or to do something stupid because that’s just the kind of person she is. If she wasn’t so fake, and didn’t hate me for no reason I would be okay, but nope... she’s petty and jealous that he’s been with me 24/7 since we moved in together a month into our relationship. You’re right. It’s not fair to me at all, and I’m glad he finally sees that now because he also had to realize that he signed up for this, and he wanted us to build a whole new life together for us and our unborn baby and he’s just going to have to do it without her in it because I want our son to be surrounded by people we both know and love, not surrounded by negative, hateful people like her. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@malainaheka23, honestly if I were you, I’d text her from his phone(pretending to be him) or even have him call her and put her on speaker and cut her off. He should let you do that, seeing as to how he’s so “sorry”. But me being me, I wouldn’t trust him at work cause for all I know, he’s probably texting her saying “oh I’m gonna send you a text tonight but don’t worry about it cause it’s my girlfriends hormones and I don’t mean any of it” but that’s cause I’m crazy like that.

But she’s awful and I hope he does cut her off. Also if he texts her, make sure he doesn’t block her right after, wait until you see her response. I’m sorry I sound so crazy lmao

@scx, lol I know what you mean, but I also know that he’s not that kind of person to do that. His phone password is my birthday and he has no problem with me looking at his phone whenever I want so I believe him when he says he’s going to cut her out of his life completely. & I mostly likely am going to be the one to text her as him on his phone, and delete everything about her on his social media because I don’t want her to try and start a conversation about it. It’s literally going to say something like “ Look Alba, my life is different now. I’m happy and I’m the process of starting a family with the woman I love and our baby boy coming in March, and all my time is going to be with them. And since you’re not going to make any effort to acknowledge that and genuinely be nice to Mia than I no longer want to be friends with you.✌🏼” I told him today I’m not taking any chances with this girl and her random ass text messages just to get him to reply. It’s either me and the baby, or her, and he chose us so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt for now.

@scx, Lmao you’re not crazy at all! I would do the same thing, and am going to! 😂 she really is an awful person. What person is so selfish that she doesn’t want to see her friend genuinely happy?! It’s so sad. And she has the nerve to call him her best friend even though she texts him once a month to see if he wants to hang out? No. That’s over and done with. He’s having a baby in a little over a month from now and that’s all his focus should be on from here on out. Me, and Bellamy. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@malainaheka23, my ex husbands niece was super close to my ex because since he was a midlife baby they were close in age. They were like best friends and when I came along so got so jealous and got the whole family against me. After awhile I didn't care anymore and told her and him both, we are married now so you need to get over it. They're family so it's not like couldn't still do things but she got on my nerves. I told him things change when you commit to your own family. I hope your SO sticks to his word and tells her to take a hike. Lol