Just to rant.

LO is 8 months old currently. Husband works second shift, from 4pm to midnight, and he recently rejoined the army so he's been working out in order to keep up with the physical requirements. And he's a bad sleeper.

My father was diagnosed with lung cancer in February and they say he'll probably not last for another year. In June, my father was hospitalized due to low platelet count for 18 days, 7 of those in ICU, and I was there everyday, except for 3, because my parents dislike the interpreters provided by the hospital. In addition, my younger sister is also unable to fully translate for my parents therefore I had to be the one to go daily. I also had to be there by 8am since that's when the doctors started to show up.

Prior to all these happening, I've always let husband sleep until noon, accommodating the fact that he sleeps poorly. And he would get up to spend roughly 2 hours with M before going to work.

During my father's hospitalization, I would wake up to go to the hospital and leave husband and M in bed. Of course, M doesn't sleep until 12pm so husband would need to wake up early to keep M company until he had to go to work then he would drop her off at my sister's. My MIL babysat M twice meanwhile, knowing my father's conditions. Husband complained of the lack of sleep to his mom... PS. He's been experiencing depression due to the baby since birth.

Guess what? My MIL then expressed, to husband only, that she's unhappy that I'm putting my father first. M should be my primary job.

You know, it's not like I'm getting enough sleep either. M wakes up multiple times during the night and I'm always the one getting up to soothe her. It's not like I want to go to the hospital daily even after my father moved out of the ICU but because the parents are grasping onto their trust in me, I had to go. It's not like I want to leave M behind with husband because he gets frustrated with her and I worry. It's not like I want to leave M behind when I've been a staying at home mom. I do miss her terribly.

Since my MIL's feelings weren't expressed to me directly, of course I handled it passive aggressively. =) Because I'm not suppose to know what she said to husband so I've been fighting with husband instead...

Husband: "This is between the two of you, you guys need to handle it! Leave me out of it. And you guys do it to each other."

No, husband, MIL attacks me personally and I disagree with the methods of how she takes care of M, such as feeding her juice. And I've expressed my wishes verbally to her but I've only heard her complaints of me through husband.

So... I should go to MIL and rat husband out?

No, MIL, I no longer wants you to come and babysit M because I wouldn't dare to abandon my sole responsibility.