So i just want to throw a little about me out to you guys right now
Im almost 22 with my first daughter (18months) her father and I havent been together for like 8 months now. We have a lot of problems in our relationship that need to be fixed but idk if it ever will be. From verbally abusing eachother physical abuse emotional abuse. Ive left him 4 times and i think he hates me for it. Or holds a grudge for it. But i left him because of his abuse i couldnt stick it out..every time i left it was because i was done and couldnt take it anymore. This time has been the longest we been apart and i just want my family back.. Idk hoa he feels..he says things sometimes but we never really sit and discuss how we feel to each other. Im just wondering am i crazy for feeling like i want to try again. I know its hard for yall to know because you dont know the whole story...everyone i know tells me to leave him alone and get child support and all i think is i just want my daughter to grow up with happy parents
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@chocolatechild youre right i just wish it could be different ughh
Yes you can move on. It takes us to fall more than a couple times to realize enough is enough but you don't want it to get to the point where you want to break away but it seems impossible. Give it time. Show your daughter that when a man mistreats you, it's time to leave not stick around to tolerate abuse. A happy home is a healthy home and if daddy makes it a sad home, he does not belong.
Thats what i worry about. @chocolatechild. Youre definitely right...its happened a bunch of times before so it probably wouldnt be any different..i just wish i could move on but it hasnt been easy for me...no one ever expects this to happen to them..it just does
It's normal to want a 2 parent home. You're going to crave that togetherness, regardless but dont let your temptations get you in trouble because its just going to be worse going back to him. You're just going repeat the breakup process again.
@dreamermom ive been wanting to go get evaluated for my own problems and get them handled so its definitely a possibility ill end up doing it myself
Ya i agree we have been spending more time together and it is nice @babyjacksonmommy. And thank you i actually got it from big daddy lol i wanted to name her julian if she was a boy but the girl that is with adam sandlers name is Layla lol
By the way I love your daughter name I actually got to name my niece and that what her name is just spelled differently @supermom1104
Oh okay if she is just start by having more family time together doesn't mean you guy's have to be together to do that and just see where it goes from there but communication is key so make sure you guy's talk @supermom1104
I just wonder if me and him can fix it. .maybe we just both need to be set in life first to build together its just sad we've struggled a lot together and were always fine but now that we have layla i think its harder on both of us to see each other struggling
Yea thats why i left him..i dont feel Like a good mom subjecting my daughter to that stuff so i told him that and left..but layla literally lights up seeing us together..shes a whole different baby i feel like when she sees her parents together she seems happy @babyjacksonmommy
Sometimes two homes are better than one. Remember whatever a child's see or hears they copy. I know a mother who stayed but it didnt do any good for the child she grew up thinking getting abused was okay. Like @dmm1976 say just really think about if you want your daughter to grow up with that in her life. Good luck hun you know what's best
@supermom1104, even if he won't there is merit in going alone! I learned a lot about myself when I went by myself, after my ex and I split up
@dreamermom ive thought about that..i might ask him to see what he says..if hed do something like that
You need to stick with your gut and do what is both safe and best for YOU and baby! As moms we dont think about ourselves but when your happy and healthy, baby is happy and healthy! No matter what know you got tons on moms on here who support you!
I just dont want to wait 5 10 years to finally be together..thats a lot of my daughters life we arent experiencing together and that makes me upset
We both have said we want to be good for each other so it makes me think we CAN we just dont know how..i mean it wasnt always bad from having our daughter i feel like made us fall more in love with each other but the stress of life bills etc tore us apart..that was a lot of the source of us fighting.. 😳@dmm1976
Sometimes parents are happier apart. Think about the reasons you have left him in the past and if you want your daughter to grow up with that
If that's how you feel, then I suggest you look into counseling first... figure out what causes you to want him back, and make sure it's healthy reasons... then ask him to come with you... and see if you can work things out before you 'try again'... but that's just my thoughts!
I know @supermom1104 I know exactly how you feel. I've been there. Crying and praying for my family to get back together but God told me he wasn't good for me and I didn't listen. Now I wish I would have stayed away from him. Only you will know when enough is enough but if you make the wrong move, you'll have plenty of regrets.