I posted this a few years ago for my sons adoptive mom. Now I read it almost daily to remind myself to cut the crap and…

I posted this a few years ago for my sons adoptive mom. Now I read it almost daily to remind myself to cut the crap and remember even as a mom I'm still human.

Take a break.

Stop trying to be perfect. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop trying to meet everyone’s expectations.

You can’t fix all your kids’ problems and have all the answers. You can’t heal all their wounds.

Sometimes you have to let things go.

Sometimes you have to let them have six hours of screen time a day…for two weeks straight.

Sometimes you need to say, “No, I don’t want to play Candy Land…or Chutes & Ladders…ever.”

Sometimes you have to pick up McDonald’s on the way home…for the third time that week.

Sometimes they need to get their own Band-aids and kiss their own boo-boos…especially when there’s no blood.

Sometimes they’ll have to miss that class they love so dearly because sometimes other things just come up.

Sometimes you need to stop listening to the cacophony of other moms telling you the “right” way to raise your kids. There’s always someone available to tell you the polar opposite.

Sometimes you need to let the dishes sit and ignore the spaghetti sauce splattered on the stove and up the wall. Give the kids chores. Don’t expect perfection, expect arguing. Then ignore it.

Sometimes you need to put your ear buds in and listen to that music (on level 10!), watch Mad Men, go out for that grande mocha, stop at that garage sale.

Sometimes you need to serve ice cream for breakfast.

Sometimes you need to ask for help.

Sometimes you need to give yourself permission to be an okay mom. The harder you are on yourself, the harder it is on your kids.

Sometimes – or rather all the time – you need to not take your kids whining, complaining and manipulating personally. It doesn’t mean you’ve done a bad job, it just means they’re trying to get their way.

Sometimes you need to say no and not feel guilty about it.

Sometimes you need to remember that no mom knows what she’s doing. If they say they do, they’re lying.

Sometimes showering is overrated. Makeup? Pfft.

Most times follow these four words: Sweatshirt, ponytail, yoga pants.

And remember: Kids are resilient…especially when they know how much you love them.

Sincerely,

Kate

P.S. This is basically a letter to myself.