Sorry for the long post but I've been having a hard time dealing with my mind hormones emotions--you name it lately and I need to vent and write it down. Please no judgements. I'm wicked sensitive lately. I am in recovery due to a serious drug addiction. I lost my first pregnancy a year ago due to a miscarriage from my drug use. Then I found out I had hep c from my drug use. I became horribly suicidal manically depressed with severe anxiety. I finally got help to get clean and on the right track. It took a lot of trial and error to find the perfect combination of medication and counseling to get me in a some what good place. I spent weeks and months in bed. I was completely lost and ashamed of myself. I never saw my life like this in a million years. I was a great student, graduated with honors but was in a lethal relationship for 9 years. The man I am with right now has been so supportive and has helped me through so much. When I found out about the hepatitis he didn't even treat me as though I was different than anyone else. He has been my rock. In October 2015 I was dx with ulcerative colitis. Great another health issue at 26!! My dr was horrible to me. Almost caused me to relapse after 10 months. My primary Doctor has been the very best and has worked with me the whole year. By Nov '15 we found the perfect combo of antidepressants anxiety meds and medication to keep me off drugs. And then I got pregnant and had to come off and lower the dosage of the medications. I am currently still on lexapro, anxiety medication, subutex, and my stomach meds. I couldn't come off them completely, not after being suicidal a few months prior. Then 12/4/15 I was in a head on collision and suffered severe back, neck, and hip injuries. I am a CNA and I was and am still out of work. The ins co didn't do jack for us nor did the lawyer because the guy that hit me didn't have insurance and I had basic of basic. Last year sucked. I am now 24 weeks 3 days pregnant and all my blood work has been amazing. I am undetected for hep c. Baby girl is growing perfectly and on target and hitting her milestones and very active. But my depression has come back with a vengeance and my anxiety is out of control. I feel like I'm losing myself again after finding the lost pieces and making a new life for myself. I am trying to hard to maintain my sobriety for my little girl and to stay positive but my boyfriend has seemed to be very distant lately and isn't working. On top of that we are remodeling before the baby comes and it's causing stress on both of us. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have no one to talk to and with him and I barely talking I'm just a blubbering mess. I'm back to laying in bed all day, no will to do any house work and I'm forcing myself to eat for baby girl. I'm so scared with how my mental state is now, how is it affecting my baby in utero and after she is born. It's like I'm predisposed for postpartum depression. And with my man being so distant idk what to do. Maybe we moved to fast, we didn't think things out--I have no idea. At first it was exciting and we were both ready. Yes he is the sole provider but he's not working and we barely have any baby stuff. It's like he's backing out now. I know dealing with me is a lot but I need him right now. Feeling so lost 😱😰😔💭
Комментарии
hey I know this post is old. But im going through the struggle now of being on Subutex while 16wks pregnant I life in NY. BUT wanted to know how your pregnancy turned out the further & further I get the more I dwell on still being on treatment 2 1/2 years later!
No problem. I'm glad you feel better. Those are some of the best bonding moments. Enjoy your beautiful blessing.
I just want to thank you all again. I really needed those encouraging words. If it were not for what y'all have said to me to make me realize how far I have come and how stronger I truly am compared to what I think I am, to keep fighting and pushing through the bs and struggle I didn't how I would be feeling right now. I saw baby girl kick through my belly today and despite how active she was with a horrible stomach ache it was super exciting!! It makes me realize how much of a blessing it is to have such a healthy baby after what I put my body through for years. I understand we all get overwhelmed stressed over-tired..you name it and we need that encouragement during those times. I can not thank you ladies enough. This is why I love this app. Thank you again (can't say it enough) 💕💙💘@comeonbaby2017 @hailholla1412 @junesmommy15 @tinyram09 @vella89
Let me just say , You are so STRONG..the things you have been thru other people could not have made it through, don't downplay your greatness I know life gets overwhelming sometimes but just keep pressing forward, I'm rooting for you & Congrats on the baby, everything will fall into place .Trust and believe
@lindsey89 no problem girl! you got this! a lot of what you are feeling too is probably hormones. I would definitely just keep your doctor's informed because they can help with all of it and especially if the depression gets worse after. we all need a push and to know we aren't alone. that's why I love this app because there is so much positivity and women who have gone through the same things with great advice. I believe that's why God allows us to go through hard times so we can overcome and help others struggling with the same things. if we didn't know hard times we would never truly know grace and mercy and the fact the Jesus already overcame the world means that with Him we have the power to overcome as well temptation or anything that tries to tear us down and keep us low. keep the faith and press on toward the goal and if you do that you are going to be the best mommy!!! your little one won't look at the bad things you have done but she will see the growth and strength it took you to overcome them for yourself and for her and she will be forever grateful!! like I said I'm always here to talk :)
@vella89, I'm near Jacksonville in Middleburg. I look on swip swap and alike page on FB I've seen a bunch of stuff, it's just we are getting the house newborn liveable it's an old trailer not bad but needed work and we have already had to take a loan out. As the days go by I'm realizing how short of a time it is until baby girl gets here. Just adds to my anxiety worry stress...I see two OBs a primary Dr and a GI specialist and they all know how bad my anxiety is. I've always numbed my problems with drugs and now that I'm clean my depression is bad and my anxiety is severe.
Where are you located at @lindsey89 ?? You can look on Facebook for free or trade items in your area, I've got most of my baby stuff that way for cheap.
Thank you ladies @tinyram09 @junesmommy15 @hailholla1412 just your kind words to keep going has made me feel a little better and I'm not crying anymore (been going on two days now). Hopefully I can get to kohl's today and use my kohl's cash for some baby stuff. Just been in bed for two days and needed an extra shove to get motivated today
It makes me tear up and cry looking back on everything that's happened in just a year and a couple months @tinyram09 I know it's made me stronger and im not looking for sympathy or to be all boo who on myself right now. I'm just overwhelmed my depression&anxiety; suck right now and like I told the other ladies I just need someone to keep pushing me forward instead of allowing my mind to push me in the wrong direction. Thank you for responding. I truly appreciate it with all my heart. I do like telling my story especially women even men in the same situation some way or another. I hope to allow them to see a life after addiction because I never thought I would have one never mind having a baby in less than 16 weeks. Thank you again.
No problem. You're doing so great! Look at how many people who are not getting the help they desperately need. My brother for instance. He has hep c and won't even get treatment and ruining his and others lives. When I say you are doing so great, I truly mean it. Stay strong. The devil is trying to win this battle but you are too strong.
im so sorry for everything youve gone through and for all of your struggles but look how much stronger you ae now because of the shit youve been through! i dont even know you darlin and im incredibly proud of you!! and if you ever need to just vent im here anytime to listen!! thank you for turning your life around and for being such an amazing strong inspiration for other women going through what you went through you should be incredibly proud of yourself!!
Thank you @junesmommy15 for taking the time to read my long story!! It means a lot. Just looking for a little boost of positivity right now. If it wasn't for God I wouldn't be alive right now. I wouldn't have this chance to become a mother. I owe him my life. I know I've overcome so much in just a year and what a hard year it was but I didn't do it for nothing. I want a future and I want my baby girl to have it way better than I have had it the last 9 years. She deserves this and I know i do to. Just in need of that extra push and with my family being so negative I'm not getting it there. Thank you for the support. You're so right about everything you said!
I just wish my mind would stop and shut off an shut up once in awhile to gather the peace and make things a little bit easier. To overcome so much I know I'm strong but this is my moment of weakness and it's getting bad but it can not consume me. I need to fight it and stay on track @hailholla1412
Has taken a toll on me but I know it's for her.
Thank you for reading such a long post. I didn't know if anyone would. Thank you so very very much @hailholla1412 If it was for God I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't have worked my butt off to make my second chance he gave me at life and be a better person so I can have this opportunity to become a mother, something I never thought I would be due to drugs and hitting rock bottom multiple times. I thought I was doomed forever!! Baby girl is my miracle baby and I'm so happy she's doing so well right now. 15weeks and 3 days to go and I can not wait. Having gone through so much to get to the point I am in my recovery and in my life
You can get through this. Look at all you have given up. You're already there. No need to go back. It may seem hard right now but it is so much better than before. If you are spiritual, find a church to go to. Get involved with church activities and God will get your mind off of those things. You are doing such a great job. It will get better with your SO. And of it doesn't, you'll still have to be strong for YOURSELF and the baby.
I'm so sorry your going through this girl. first off I have to say I am so proud of you for taking the steps necessary into making sure your doing what's best for little one. sometimes support is all we need to get through tough stuff but when it seems distant it is extremely hard to deal. the only thing that helps me is God. knowing I don't have to do it alone, I am never alone. I can cast my burdens on him and know that I don't have to worry about the future. I find my peace and joy in him even if no one else supports me. I don't know what your stance is on God but if it weren't for him in my life I wouldn't be here either. I've struggled with drugs and alcohol and depression since I was 13 but all the while he has been by my side. like I said I am so sorry you are having to go through this but don't give up!! once you see your little baby you will be filled with so much love and nothing else will matter. try and stay strong. you can always message me if you need someone to talk to!
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Science!
My friend posted this on facebook last night and said her kids were asleep within minutes. It's a song that scientists created to help people fall asleep. I was skeptical but I thought what the hay, I'll try it out. I didn't bank on Dh falling asleep, but both him and lo were asleep by minute 2. And lo slept six straight hours. ?
Starting TWW. Anyone else?
I had a stillborn daughter at 38 weeks this passed Nov. This is my second month ttc. (Last month we only tried for like two weeks though). My last and only pregnancy, I got pregnant the first month of ttc so I hope it's quick this time again.
Why Are Many Women Unaware of Their Own Anatomy?
the amount of women who are clueless about their own anatomy is so sad and shocking. a lot of the women are older than me and have more children then I do 😳
now I understand that everyone has their own opinion on the topic and grown adults can do whatever they want with their bodies but to deny facts and make up false statements about your own anatomy when it comes to your unborn child is just so disappointing.
ссылка
so yes ima go hard in the comments bec...
Hi
I am into my 15 week now
But since last two days am not having good feeling....I just feel something is wrong inside wid d kid...all my symptoms r too less
Morning sickness is gone....Metallic taste of my tounge is also less....and I feel pain in my abdoman twice or thrice which is very minor though
What should i do i am very confused
Already have gone through 5 scans because of changing gynec
Just feel that untill i hear the heartbeat or see my kid i wont b ok....got sleepless nights
@kmarie1303, you can message me for specific information.