I need advice please do not be hateful. This is my first baby and she's due March 19th. The problem is her father doesn't feel the need to do anything for her. He didn't show up at the baby shower and has only attended 3 doctor appointments. My family doesn't want me to tell him when I go in labor they feel he will only make me upset. I still love him but I feel maybe they are right and he will be happier if I just don't bother him. He spends more time trying to keep up with his girlfriend. He has only bought things for her once and he threw money at me he didn't even get it himself. He can't even tell you her name or due date. So my question is do I even bother telling him I am in labor or just say forget it and let him live his new life?
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I'd personally tell him I was in labor. If he got to be too much of a stressor or just annoys you, you can tell him to leave and tel your nurses not to let him back in. You could even tell your nurses prior to him coming in that may happen, that way they're prepared. Last thing you need is more stress in labor but if you don't let him know you're in labor, that could be borrowing future trouble for you. Especially if he's the guy who will throw it in your face "you want me to help with baby but you didn't even tell me she was being born" kinda thing. Good luck momma.
I decided she isn't taking his name or being on the birth certificate. He just lies to me all the time. Like I drive two hours to the doctor one way because we used to live in bg so he can drive 10 minutes and he won't do it. I am just so sick of fighting to keep her healthy and him blaming me for everything
move on and forget him its going to be hard but that's not a father at allllll I wouldn't even put him on your baby birth certificate since he's too busy with his girlfriend its clearly that he doesn't Care about you or the baby
he has made his choice as to not be part of his daughters life, I'm not trying to mean or rude, he may not be with you but he should be supportive of his daughter @addysmommy
@sarahdrew, I didn't want to be mean to her but she's honestly no better she's constantly saying rude things about my daughter could be anyone's. Umm no but she's about to see when she gets pregnant just how perfect she really thinks he is.
I try to explain to him addy doesn't have anything to do with our problems. His family wanted to come to my shower and he talked them and then they all said sorry we won't be coming. It's frustrating because my family and I have literally bought her everything. He doesn't try to be a part I even offered to pay for her nursery if he just wanted to help pick it out. He didn't show.
I would either tell him once she is born and basically tell him the ball is in his court, or tell him you are in labor but tell the hospital he can wait in the waiting room and then if you decide to let him in your room after tell the hospital that his girlfriend isn't allowed in there with him, it is your child not hers and your family not hers... also your experience and not hers (I'm noticing a trend with those last parts lol) keep your head up mama, he chose to not be part of his daughters life @addysmommy
Ignore his ass like he ignoring your baby.. she didnt ask to have his ass As a daddy
I think you'll know what to do when the time comes for you to have the baby. You could always say the doctor doesn't want him int he room due to your blood pressure and the stress it puts you under.
@andiryan93, that's a good idea as well I just feel like he makes me out to be the bad guy all the time because I don't tell our friends an family what he does to me.
@ce5ce, I feel like he would bring her to embarrass me. He parades her in front of my family already and doesn't care that my family absolutely loved him. I just feel like my damn life is jerry springer and I do not like that.
I think he will show up just to tell his family he did and then be rude the whole time. I can't remember the last time I seen him since may that he hasn't made me cry. it's to the point my ob/gyn stepped in and told me he didn't want him to come to anymore appointments because all he does is make my blood pressure sky rocket.
tell him the baby is born after shes born and when you're ready to see him emotinally. i would not tell him when you are going in labor because the stress is the last thing you need BELIEVE ME i swear THE last thing is him showing up with his girlfriend like no just no. i wouldnt even tell him until you get back home and settled in with your chunky cheeks baby 😉 time to put your emotional welfare first
I'd at least tell him your on labor but wouldn't get my hopes up on him being there. Then when all is said and done you can at least say you tried and you won't feel guilty about not telling him.
I whole hearted believe he doesn't love her that he wishes he could but chooses not to. I think he comes around to give me hope that he will love her when he thinks I'm losing hope and then runs off again. I think it's revenge because of our break up ND he knows she's my world.
You can't make him be a part of her life. Leave it up to him.
I wouldn't was in a similar situation wish I didn't tell my daughters dad I was in labor he made things worse
I wouldn't tell him, seems like he doesn't really care.
Just tell him when you have the baby. But give him the opportunity for a relationship with the baby. Its up to him if he want to be there or not. And know as soon as that social security card hit the mail you can file for child support. Thats what I did with my son. His father was the same way. And still is.