I've been feeling down for the past few months and it's only gotten worse. Hubby knows and he really tries to help, I…

I've been feeling down for the past few months and it's only gotten worse. Hubby knows and he really tries to help, I used to meditate and do yoga and draw and paint all the time. (I had figured out how to get over previous depression, anxiety, and self harm using these things and positive thinking.) I was a really happy person, he tries so hard to get me back to that place and I want to be there so bad. It's just like I don't have any energy to do anything about it. I feel so worthless and just lay around all the time. When hubby is with me I'm happy, he makes me happy and keeps me distracted but when he goes to work I get so down. I just have horrible thoughts going through my head. I feel like I'm not good enough, I'm not attractive enough, like he's going to leave me because I'm not happy enough. He's not. But we were talking about this last night and he said we've got to do something about this, it's going to affect our relationship if we don't. How can you love me if you don't love yourself? How can you love anybody? I feel like he meant our son but didn't want to say it. But I get what he means, I need to love myself. But I feel so ugly and lame and bleh and now I'm feeling not good enough for our kid. Who I haven't even met but I love more than anything in the world. I'm falling apart.

I just want to be me again. Happy, positive, loving me...