Just found out I miscarried Tuesday I went in for my first ultrasound and left very crushed and confused I feel very isolated even tho there are many women in my same shoes I wouldn't wish this pain and emptiness on my worst enemy it's hard to grieve when everyone seems to want you to just get over it or wants you to look at things as if shit happens which I totally get but damn it's only been two days I'm just looking fwd to trying again but i know it won't be easy
I'm glad to see you are not worried and doing what's comfy for you I'm sure everything will run very smooth from now on soon your doppler will be there which i would use all the time where did you order yours
@babyjones52, yes! and I just talked to HR and my manager about weight restrictions and I am at my OB's office now hoping to get a note. Everyone is pretty supportive and understanding 😀
I think you should definitely take it easy no heavy lifting or straining do what makes you feel the most comfortable I think the next two weeks you should definitely make things easy on your self just to take away the thoughts of miscarriage and anything that you feel may cause you to think hey did or will that make me hate my baby don't do it I wish I would have not went to work and just sat down but I worked anyway knowing I was suppose to sit down and take it easy so do what's best for you and i think whatever doesn't make you over think or worry do it because this baby is your life right now and it's waaay more important than anybody or anything and getting the Doppler was a great idea
@babyjones52, Hi! i just needed to share this with you.. so i am a nurse and i work in a hospital. I got floated to work in icu today and i got two heavy patients, both were confused patients and one kept trying to get out of bed. It hit me this morning that the last shift I did before the first miscarriage was in ICU and I was 10weeks. I'm 10 weeks tomorrow so I was really freaking out hoping it wasn't a sign. I prayed every minute any kept talking to the baby. I spoke to my co workers and they all said for me to follow my OB recommendations and get weight restrictions for work. I declined the restriction because I didn't know how it'll affect me at work because I can still work it's just lifting heavy patients is the problem. So right now i just ended my shift and gut feeling is that this baby is ok and I won't lose him/her but i think it was a sign for me to back off and take care of myself and the baby. I hated that feeling tho.. all day was worried and stressing which didn't help the situation. Im glad a bought a doppler online to listen to the heartbeats. Waiting for it to arrive...
@babyjones52, oh good! yea i know what you mean i see the name eden in a random place and i think the same way. I had a d&c so that is why they told me to wait to build up my lining. i was stressing ever since we had started trying again. my period cycles were between 35-40 days so when it was that time of the month and each day i put a lot of pressure on my husband to perform and then i would cry if things didnt work out. In october we had sex every other day during ovulation week and i was sure i'd get pregnant but cried my eyes out when it didnt happen. we finally got pregnant in november after i got hurt at work and decided to just take care of myself. i was almost giving up and it happened! so thats why don't stress cuz it'll happen when you least expect it
When I see the number I feel it's my baby saying I'm still here with you mommy always watching and my doctor actually said that I was all healed up the same day she discovered I miscarried just to give it 3 more days then just have protected sex until my first cycle then it's a go she said if I chose to have unprotected sex then I should make sure i take my prenatal vitamins everyday because I'm extremely fertile and may ovulate within 2 weeks can't wait but I'm just going to enjoy the making of the baby like I did the few months before this pregnancy so I won't be obsessed if it doesn't hall right away
I agree give it time. It's funny because my husband had mentioned that divorce rates go up after losing a child when I was begging for him to open up and talk to me and all he would was either get mad or break down and cry. He was doing the blame game for a bit, blaming doctors for giving me too much thyroid medication (found out i have hypothyroidism with that first pregnancy and got put on meds which was totally safe for baby). But to blame other people is the same as blaming me and I didn't think I did anything wrong. Just give him time and give yourself time to heal too. Oh ask your doctor when it would be ok to try again.. mine told me after 2period cycles to build my uterus lining. Yours may say something different. If they say not right away then take that time to build your relationship with your bf and take care of yourself. It's all about choices. Choose to grieve positively or let your grief take over. I did both.
Yeah I find myself being a bit selfish because my body did feel everything but I don't say it to him bcuz I know he is hurting deeply we consoled each other the first night but I think getting out of the house will help a lot it's just very hard to communicate with him and that was before the miscarriage so I get kinda frustrated bcuz it was already hard before so now it will be 10x worse which i can't handle so I will give him space on that and focus on healing myself bcuz I'm super sensitive at the moment
@babyjones52, OMG I was getting similar signs!!! For a girl we wanted to name the baby Eden named after my grandparents. Eden isn't a common name but I kept seeing it.. in the title of a book at work.. on tv. We went to a marriage retreat when I was 8weeks and I saw Eden on some guys jacket. The day the doctor told us to come in for an emergency ultrasound, i#I already had a feeling that what if Eden didnt mean we were having a girl, what if ot meant the true meaning "paradise." & it hit me that this baby wasn't meant to be ours. When we found out we had lost the baby I was supposed to be 10weeks but the baby was measuring 8weeks same time as when we went to that Christian marriage retreat and I saw the jacket. Although i was devastated I knew I didnt do anything wrong. God had plans all along. Didn't know if the baby was a girl but we felt like she was. My husband and I got tattoos memorializing her.
@babyjones52, Whatever you feel like doing is ok. It's ok to sleep your life away for a day. It's ok to cry, It's ok to eat your sorrows away too (rocky road ice cream was my fave!) You just lost your baby. Men and women handle things differently. My husband was not super supportive in the beginning but how could he? This baby meant so much just as it did to me. Difference is I felt the symptoms, I was the one getting big, I was the one who was physically losing the baby and bleeding. Nothing is tangible for men except feeling the belly. Give it some time and you need to talk to him because you will feel the pressure to have a baby and trying will not be as enjoyable. You will look at each other as baby making machines and it's easy to detach from each other emotionally that way which isn't good. You need each other more than ever. And maybe getting out of the house would be good. Or start a hobby? It's hard to want to do things especially when you feel so bad but see if it helps. I'll be praying for you
Yeah I got many signs my baby would not be here long many and I allowed others faith for the lord to overpower our relationship I allowed them to take my mind away from the signs of him telling me my child this is what I have in store for you and this is only for a little while but this is to show you the blessings to come that it seems I may not hear you or I'm tryna hurt you but it's not time I never. Really allowed myself to get comfy with being pregnant and I tried to tell my family and bf that this baby wouldn't make it but they thought I was being negative the lord gave me extra time with my child and I appreciate that I kept seeing this number 52 constantly and I found out 52 days later my baby was gone so I know my time is coming and I have a battle to fight that I need to be strong for and build to get through that war in order to get to my blessings my bond with God is very strong I feel he is never away from me as if he has been right here like a conjoined twin who loves me but I fight his love at times knowing he only wants what's best for his daughter
I've definitely become more spiritual since the miscarriage.. I believe in sogns and actually had several telling me the baby wasn't meant to be with me here. The first place I went to after we found out was church and one thing stuck with me when I spoke to someone there "Walk in the spirit not in the Flesh." I don't know if you all are religious or practice any faith but it does help. And honestly people are going to say what they went to say. Most try to help some are just awkward and mean well but things come out wrong. The latter was my family. I think my grandma blames me a little for losing the baby. I actually haven't told her about this pregnancy yet because I just don't want to hear her two cents just yet. My coworkers thought I was brave for going through what I went through. I just dealt the best way I could and even then it was hard
@dee519, yeah you are right my mom said that yesterday and I have a lot of support but no one who can relate to me and you are a very strong woman I must say and very Selfless to go through that and still have the strength to encourage others despite the situation thank you so much and I will keep you in my prayers thank you for the blessings you are sending my way i find myself crying but then I say the lord doesn't build his finest and strongest soldiers with weakness he sends us through things so that eventually our shields are solid through all of life's ups and downs i look at what the lord has done and all he has been through which was a lot and it pushes me through knowing that he only sending me through what seems like hell at the time because he favors me and others just like me only the strong survive
@kayla150, thank you I will bcuz talking with others lately I've just been letting them talk and I know the conversations are only awkward bcuz they are trying to help take my mind off of it and don't really know what to say
@rmnavarro, I just need to get out of this house and get back to work because sitting here it only consumes my mind which makes me just wanna sleep my life away and you are totally right about pressure just trying to have a simple conversation about it with my bf is very difficult on his part he shuts down which I know because he is hurting but he is definitely trying to make this second one count I'm ready but as you said i fear another miscarriage but prayer has kept me sane and congrats to you I'm so sure you will have a wonderful healthy pregnancy I will be praying for you
Miscarriages are hard to deal with. No one has the right words to say or know the right thing to do. Hang in there, I hope you have a few close people to talk to about it, when you need too. I have lost three pregnancies. I am praying for good news soon. I pray for you and many other ladies out there dealing with loss and ready for a healthy baby!
It took me 4months to conceive after we started trying again. I miscarried at 10weeks. MD said to try after two months to build my uterus lining. I'm 9weeks pregnant now and I full of emotions. I go to the bathroom with positive thoughts but worried each time i wipe I might see blood. Hang in there.. I know the feeling. I was depressed up until I got pregnant again. I made the choice to not let the depression consume me although i did let it d last few months and trying was not as enjoyable. I put a lot of pressure on me and on my husband and thats the worst thing you could do. For now take care of yourself let your body heal and let things happen the way they should. Easier said than done i know. But God Bless and build your support system. It helps.