Mamas I really need some advice or just a listening ear, I really don't know what to do, or if I'm overreacting, but my…

@ladyazrael I was saying in the comments before, that he grew up in child services which made him the great man he is, but it's also made him more driven and he says that he really wants to do right by us, but he second guesses his self, so he's nervous to switch jobs and not make enough to support us, or make as much as he is now, and I keep telling him that the extra money isn't always worth it, but he worries still. and I know, I dont wanna do this alone, it will be hard on me and even harder on her to not know him, and that's what he doesn't want, but doesn't realize that's what is gonna happen...

you won't look selfish at all. If he could get a closer job with the same pay then he should. you don't deserve to do this alone...

@rachelle, I know! I can't wait to see her, I feel like this is what I was meant to do, be a mom, like this is what I've been missing! and yes my dad is near me, and I stay with my mom for right now, and James (bf) comes to see me, so I know I'm not alone, I just wish he could always be here too!

I know exacrly what you mean 😢Trust me, the moment you meet her your world will stop! Time flies so fast! She's going to be perfect just you see. And you're not alone, wasn't your dad near you? And your boyfriend does come down to visit. As long as your there for your baby and she's there for you that's all you'll ever need

@rachelle, I know, I just get so mad and hurt that I have to drop the topic bc I've called him out so many times on it and he never says or does any different. and yeah I seriously can't wait to have her in my arms, I wont ever be lonely or bored, I love her so much already, I'm just afraid I can't do it alone. how will I make it? lol I just don't know what to expect. but i wouldn't change getting pregnant for anything!!

That's so aggravating! My fiance says the same thing. That he wants us with him yet he doesn't do anything about it. Confront him, otherwise more time will pass. The good thing is either way you'll have your daughter. It's the best, she'll be with you 24/7, you'll still miss him but she'll keep you busy lol

@shelbyjo, I know! I just hope he makes the right one, for him and us as a family,

@rachelle, I've asked him if he wants to leave this job bc I think he likes it and he tells me he love us more. that he would rather be here then stay at this job, but yet he's not?

Oh I know it's hard. I cry myself to sleep some nights because it's so upsetting

Does he absolutely love his job?

@shelbyjo, it really hurts to think that this isn't what he wants, bc I want it more than anything for our daughter... it's the most important thing to me, but I guess I can only deal with it now. thank you for your input! ❤❤

@arijane316, I try to do the same, it's just hard. this is both our first kid as well.

Yes you can tell him how you feel either way but it's going to be his decision to give up time with y'all or give up being on the road and if y'all want it to work you will support ether choice.

@rachelle, that's how i feel too! and I want to be understanding of his side and feelings too, but I just can't imagine it... and I can't call myself bc they don't have an actual office, as he moves states, which like I said is like every month or so, sometimes it's even a different company her working for bc it's a different state, sometimes even across the country, and I don't know where to begin to try finding this man.

Yeah I understand it's hard trying to be patient but all the guys my SO works with there have been a couple who are ready to settle down they just aren't ready to give up the traveling. And I understand both sides where yes you want roots for your family and you want everyone together. But guys like that who travel for work they get stir crazy being in one spot for too long just bc that's what they are used to (believe me I've seen it) and there's no changing that sometimes and it sucks. And to be from it sounds like is he isn't ready to give it up just yet

I'm in the same position. my hubby is a truck driver and only cones home once a month. I hate it because he is and will be missing out on so much. this our first child as a couple and seperately. Idk what to do about it either but I just keep telling myself that he's doing it for us

That's how I am. I cannot imagine my life without my baby girl. It hurts me to see how my fiance could just leave, I understand it's for school for a better us. I hate that im so selfish. Why do I only get to see him once a month when he should be coming home to me every night. Ugh. But thank the Lord because I know it won't be like this forever. I don't think your boyfriend will be able to miss out. Maybe you should call the offices yourself to see if you can get a hold of the guy that can give him a stable job near you

@rachelle, and I know that this isn't easy for him either, he's the one sacrificing time with me and her when she gets here, but I just don't see how he thinks he can do it.

@rachelle, thats one thing i make sure to be, is understanding of how he is feeling, bc what what I can tell, he is really excited and loves her so much already, I told him that once he sees her he will become a father, but me, I've been a mother since I found out she existed and i just can't imagine not being around her.

Just be open. Give him a different approach and don't make him feel attacked that's usually why they get all defensive. They say that the men fall in love once they see the baby, let's hope he won't bare to leave once your princess gets here

@shelbyjo, thank you, it has been,really rough being pregnant, and trying to help my dad like I do, I'm the only one here for him, I help him as much as possible financially as well, bc his disability check is next to nothing, he's living in a camper himself right now bc he has nowhere else to go, that's why we want him to live with us, which he will be able to pay some bills as well, but he just can't get around very good and I cant leave him hanging without anyone. and me and my boyfriend have,talked about everything my whole pregnancy, and he still doesn't think we are stable enough, I'm due in February, and taxes will come around that time and he is expecting ALOT of money back, bc he gets paid for all his drive time when he travels to all the different states, just that alone, for the year, he's expecting 10,000 if not more, plus taxes back from the money he's had taken out all year, so I just don't understand why he thinks we could get a place AND have a good cushion until he gets going in a new job with the money he is supposed to get back on taxes, I try to be understanding bc he went from traveling on his own for work, and only worrying about him, to now taking care of me and soon our girl. that's why I'm so confused on how to feel and what to do.

@wrd2016, oh I didn't know about your dad part! I'm sorry to hear that, I'd try and talk to him bc what it sounds like is that's going to be a lot he's going to be responsible for and for him traveling like that, it's a whole new world of responsibility. And he might be a little nervous about it, I'd reassure him if you decide to talk about it all. If not just keep saving up until y'all have a nice cushion to where he can find something closer and y'all still will have enough if he takes a cut in pay until y'all get back into a grove.

@rachelle, I know, it's a really fucked up situation, and he said that he tried to contact a supervisor that stays here but can't get a hold of him. Bc when I met him he worked here for over a month, and he had a different supervisor that ran the yard an hr away from me, so supposedly he tried to get in contact with him to see if he could be here full time and see how much he would pay him. but nothing ever happened with that... and that's what I'm trying to make him see and think about is it worth all the time and memories he's going to miss out on for the money.... although he does make 22$ an hr and when he goes to michagin in a few weeks he will be making 33$ an hr, I just don't know how he sees it's worth it, I guess he just sees the money and knows we need it and will need it.

@shelbyjo, I know thank you!

@ladyazrael, I feel like that too, but I also feel like I can't tell him that bc then I'll look like a selfish bitch... @lil_bigmama no it didn't sound like that lol & @shelbyjo that sounds like a good idea, but I don't think he would go for it, bc it was his idea to move here with me bc my dad was in a motorcycle accident 2 years ago, and lost half is foot and had his whole leg and femur replaced and can't take care of him self like he needs too, so my boyfriend decided we should move my dad in with us (when we get a place, to help him) but he keeps pushing it off, and seems like he doesn't know for sure what he wants to do, or like he's not sure of himself to be able to support us fully,

But for the first few years of our daughters life we will try and travel with him until school starts then I'll be back home and see him during the summer/ school breaks. There's ways to do it if y'all work at it and understand it won't be easy if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here to message I know the kind of lifestyle that kind of work is!

That's a terrible situation. His job doesn't have any possible opportunities that leave him in one spot? If not I would just save as much as possible and have him settle down for the sake of your family. Family is always better than money

I really think he needs to think about what's his first priority

@babygirl10-11 I hope so too, but he said he's only gonna be able to stay her a week or two when she's born before he has to go back to work, even though we will have plenty of money from taxes, && I feel like the time he's gonna lose with her is so precious and irreplaceable. I never saw myself experiencing my first pregnancy like this...

Have y'all thought about getting a camper trailer to haul around? That's what me and my SO are currently working on doing he's moves around a lot for work too and usually doesn't stay somewhere for long. And yes he can always move closer to me but he's very motivated to making a name for himself in his line of work (pipeline) we have been together for 4 years now and have talked about the life style and he knows he will miss out on a lot but he just simply can't support us and do what he loves and make the money he does working around here.

my hubby was like that with our first baby he was living 45 mins away and only came on weekends and once she was born he packed me and the baby up and moved us to where his job was .... hopefully he figures it out soon and doesn't miss her newborn days

@babygirl10-11, @ladyazrael @lil_bigmama @rachelle not to mention I already feel really bad in the first place that he is going to miss alot of time with her, just to take care of us financially, and I knew it would be hard when I met him ( we met when he was staying at the hotel I was working at) but it's getting so much harder to get over with her coming soon. and I don't want to resent him for this, or him resent me or himself in the future when he can't make up all the time he's losing with her, that's his biggest priority is being a great father, his father was in prison his whole life, and his mother was on drugs and lost custody of him when he was 7, which has made him the wonderful man he is today, but how can he father her when he's not gonna be around? and he doesn't seem to see it like that. 😞

bless it sounds like a lineman I did date ya it suck & please don't think I saying I thought u used him I was just saying u should do it 2 him in that sweet suck up voice we all have lol & I'm a stay at home mom so I get how hard it is bc my husband is here 45 minutes b4 bed everyday & on Sunday is all

@babygirl10-11, that's what I'm hoping for, but even right now when we talk about it, all he says is he really wants to be here, with us all the time, but he can't...

@lil_bigmama, he knows how thankful I am, bc like I said I'm not used to a guy (a man, he's the first actual MAN ive been with) taking care of me, I've always had to work, so I always feel bad for spending his money and not helping but it's what he wants he says he's suppose to take care of us, so I always tell him how grateful I am, & like I was telling the other ladies, he stays in nothing but motels, bad ones, they're never in their rooms, so their boss gets the cheapest ones around, I would love to move with him, if he actually lived where he works, his home is in Mississippi at his friends house, and he hasn't stayed there since January may be before... he jumps from state to state.

o yea i understand that ... he needs to figure something out im sure once the baby is born and he sees her he will want to be with her more then once a month and he will find a job in town

@rachelle that's what hurts the most, is knowing that he is going to miss everything, he's missed my whole pregnancy and he's going to miss out on seeing the best time of her life, all her firsts, and everything, @ladyazrael @babygirl10-11 and I could move with him if he was in a place longer than a month, but he stays in hotels, not the best ones either, like really crappy hotels, not safe for him let alone me and the baby, I went with him once before and it was not safe at all, when he left for work I would have to leave his gun right next to me, and plus, even if I did go with him, we wouldn't see him much more lol he works from 6am to 10pm most of the time,

like she said ask him if yall could move closer 2 him & b with him he's like most men ur got 2 have 2 make it about him like hunny what u do think about us moving in with u so I can take better care of u ur so good 2 me I just want 2 b able 2 show u how thankful I am 4 u everyday

that's the thing, he works on the interstate mostly, so he moves every month or 2 and lives in hotels and that's just not how I wanna raise my daughter ya know? of course once shes a little older I can go with him for a month or 2.. but long term I wanna put down roots, have a home, and live together... @babygirl10-11

I am wondering the same thing

I understand what you're going through. My fiance is in another state for school and comes down once a month. Our daughter was born 2 months ago. He's missing out on so much, he doesn't really say much on the subject. He just says how he misses her, I send him pictures every other day. But it's not the same as being here for it. I ALWAYS get so hurt and mad about him not saying or doing anything because he has already missed my whole pregnancy. Have you considered moving out there with him?

can u move to where he is working ?