making the decision today to move forward and get the help i need. monday morning ill be finding counciling for depression. and finding a doctor to lead me down a path to beat postpartum depression...

i dont deserve to feel this way.
my significant other doesnt deserve to suffer from me feeling this way
and my son does not deserve to not have a strong bond with me, because i cannot admit to needing help.

if anyone uses iheartradio.. Listen to the podcast called "Newbies" if youre a ftm. its so awesome!
foe expecting mommies one is called "Preggie Pals"

theyre all really awesome to listen to! and always remember #supportallmoms!

he loves that bumbo seat.
at 3 1/2 months hes always wanting to sit up and look at everything. so...vanessa found this at goodwill, cleaned it up and gave it to him. he loves when toys are sitting on the tray. and hes taught himself how to pick up toys infront of him.

be still, my heart. just stay this way...just without the major sleep regression malfunctions??

Xayden and his pop pop
featuring like...an eighth of me over yonder

my sweet boy is finally home! hes never leaving my sight again!!!!

Xayden comes home friday.
these next two days are gonna be even slower now.

id be excited and all for thr 4th of july. but i dont get to spend it with xayden.and its his first...so...i give no shits about celebrating independence day.

back to using this since facebook is out of the question...

yep...im losing all my marbles.
i just cant anymore...